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30 December 2022 Ch Robyn Lawley vs Karen Gillian

Page history last edited by neon 4 weeks, 1 day ago

OFFICIAL FCBA "SEASON'S BEATINGS" PPV 2022

Posted by Lookout! Boxing on 30 December 2022 at 9:04 pm

Robyn Lawley v Karen Gillian

(Results by Lookout, words by Sceej)

Time for the big girls to tussle for the big gold - Scotland’s Karen Gillan stepping up to face Rockin’ Robyn Lawley. Press conference mostly polite - fighters saying nice things about opponent - odds makers install champion as prohibitive favorite based on sheer size and amazing 17-0 run this year.

Fight Night

David Bowie’s “Wild Is The Wind” from sound system as the pride of Scotland makes her way to ring, accompanied by trainer Ana Beatriz Barros. Disrobe finds Gillan in blue bikini with white Saint Andrew’s cross across one cup, white gloves and boots, long red hair braided. Ring Announcer, “Ladies and gentlemen - the challenger! Standing 5’11” and a fit 132 pounds - she sports a fine record of 20 wins against only 13 defeats. She is a former BBU welterweight champion. Please welcome Karen Gillan!”

Front Street Boxing prominent ringside as always and the human mountain that IS Poindexter Del Crunchy is on his feet roaring support for his countrywoman! Turning to the Man in the Hat, Pointy almost giddy, “I’ve a good feeling, Wiz! The lass looks plenty fit! Ought to put a hefty wager on her to win this thing!”

Grand Wizard merely arches an eyebrow to his old friend, “Got a good feeling? Lass looks fit? Well get a load of what’s coming down the aisle!”

Sound system now erupts to strains of Metallica’s “Godzilla” and here comes the Thunder From Down Under - all six feet two inches of her! Accompanied by Scrubby McGee (ably assisted by Mister Jim Beam) and Big Bad Gena Lee Nolin as official seconds … and a certain braying blonde as an unofficial second, sporting royal blue bikini with Australian star pattern on one cup, black gloves and boots, soft brown hair pulled back in pony tail. Ring Announcer, “and now introducing … the champion! Standing six feet two inches tall .. weighing in at 183 pounds … winner of an amazing seventeen straight contests … she is the undisputed FCBA welterweight champion … Robyn “Godzzzzzzzzzzilla” Lawley!”

Wiz to Pointy “Fifty pounds! She’s given’ up fifty pounds and I don’t see an ounce of fat on that big girl! How’s that ‘good feeling’ now, my man?” Pointy grumbles something about “Scottish fighting spirit”. In the ring, Jenny Mac annoying everyone (including Lawley), taunting and asking Barros if she brought a stretcher to carry Gillan out - and to her credit, big Robyn wants no part of Jenny’s lack of sportsmanship, shushing the blonde!

Round 1

Big Robyn a notoriously slow starter - last thing Scrubby McGee hisses in her air is “Lead wit’ da right! Get of foist! Knock her thoughts outta her head!”. Two girls to center ring, tentative behind high guards. Robyn jabs … jabs … feigns jab and fires straight right that kisses the Scot’s chin! Karen’s leg’s wobble and crowd on their feet at prospect of a one punch knockout! Poindexter Del Crunchy ringside and corner scream in unison “Clinch!!!”. Redhead looking to wrap up the Aussie but the raw strength of Lawley invariably comes as a shock to opponents. Karen clinging on for dear life as massive shoulders shrug and struggle, left hand worked free and delivers short but punishing shots to the abdomen. Picking her spot, Scot disengaged, landing a slapping left hook to the scalp as she spins out of clinch. Legs under her and once again firm, redhead roams the perimeter, trying to use jab to ward off big girl, but Lawley picking off most jabs with gloves, gets close and lands thumping straight right hand to the juggs! Rattled again, Karen fights back - left hook to the head and right to the ribs scoring - but she takes a crushing right to her own rib cage which leaves her wincing and backing off. Bell rings and it is a great opening round for the champion!

Rounds 2-3

Ana in Karen’s ear, “You have to move … can’t grow roots in there! Remember what we talked about? Don’t let her get set. Don't let her dictate pace. Disrupt her. Get your licks and then get away. Now go get her!” Redhead off her stool and sets out to do just that and she fights tactically effective for the next two rounds. Gillan able to use legs, circle right, then abrupt, pivot and circle right - all while peppering with jab - not letting the bigger girl get her feet set. Godzilla throwing pawing right hand but opponent is rarely there and when she is able to take it on forearms - now, it should be acknowledged that when a woman close to two hundred pounds hits the forearms - it is bone rattling! Gillan able to work perimeter effectively and take the second and third rounds in close tactical fashion - a little too skittish of Godzilla power to full capitalize.

Round 4

4th round has Scrubby in corner berating the big girl - demanding more pressure. Lawley scalded by tongue lashing. Willing to take two to give one. Now she is straight at the Scot, showing scant respect for her hitting power. Karen spitting jabs to hold back the giantess but forced to the cables. From there it is bludgeoning brutal work that favors Lawleye’s massive size. Redhead in high tight guard, taking on the shoulders and forearms. Hall of Famer Neve Campbell, ringside with Front Street, leans to the Wizard, “She’s doing it right - taking those shots on the arms! Nothing clean getting in.” Wiz wistful, “You’re right about that champ … ‘cept it’s tough to take it even on the shoulders and forearms when the other guys swinging a baseball bat!” Game Gillan flurries off ropes with a left right left but Lawley relentless, just putting hands to her until defenses start to loosen from sheer weight of shot. Round to Lawley

Round 5

Lawley out of her corner, marching on the redhead, hands menacingly at chin, side to side head movement to slip the range keeper jabs. Gillan gives ground, then abruptly digs back foot into the canvas and lets her hands loose - and it’s a firefight mid ring! Lawley with buggy whip left to the ribs - Karen answers back with straight right to the sternum - and now its Gillan with Highland fury!!! Left right left - jaw temple ribs - can stunned Aussie is forced back, startled and hurt! Redhead quick to follow up - feigns with lead right and when Lawley covers, doubles left hook to the waist and draws a grunt from the big girl. Gillan pressing, backing Lawley up. Robyn pawing back with the left but Scottish fighter crisper punching. Leaping right to the jaw puts a shimmy in the champion's knees and the crowd is on its feet, led by Poindexter DelCrunchy! Lawley looking to clinch but Karen struggling to keep hands free and drives big Robyn to ropes. At the bell, it is the champion pinned to the ropes with challenger shipping it to her tough!

Pointy on his feet, bellowing “Buaidh no Bàs! Buaidh no Bàs!”. Cassie Scerbo with puzzled look on face. Neve Cambell with quick check of Google translate, “Uhm … looks like ‘Victory of Death’?”

Round 6

Big Robyn gingerly back to corner, clutching at rapidly pinking mid-section. If she thought she faced hell from Gillan, it is nothing compared to McGee! “What in da hell? Are ye just gonna give away yer championship? Den we can quit right now! Jes gimme da woid an’ I’ll trow in da towel! Cuz yer fightin’ like a bum out dere … a bum!”

“ A bum!” echoes Jenny McCarthy from the front row, drawing a snarl from Scrubby, “Shaddup Jenny! I’m woikin’ dis fight!” A scalded silent Jenny pouts but stops talking.

Now it's Gena Lee Nolin talking softly to Lawley, “Look, they’re over there telling her this is it! This is her shot! She’s gonna come hard! You come harder, got me? Harder! You let her know that Cinderella is nothing but a f*cking fairy tale! She’s got no shot! None! Now go get her!”

Bell rings for round six and it is three minutes of fury center ring. No quarter asked - none given. Crowd is on its feet within ten seconds. Gillan hammering body with both hans then looking to score with uppercut - just misses. Lawley with big right to the head and then doubles it up but cannot get a step back out of the game Scot! Fates corner screaming, “Take it to her! Take it to her!” Last minute sees Karen land with the uppercut inside and Lawley stumble a step to the side but when Gillan looks to capitalize she is slammed back with that ham like right hand. Crowd on its feet roaring! Hard to call that round one way or the other - both women had their moments.

Round 7

What’s left in the tank after ferocious sixth round? Both women scuffed up and out of corners more purposefully. Gillan dukes high, Lawley dangling left at hip with right cocked. Robyn fakes a lunge and Karen takes the bait - countering with a left hook that Lawley snakes back from and counters with punishing right to the skull … and Gillan is hurt!!! And here comes Godzilla! Thumping left to midriff … left hook to jaw gutting right to the sternum .. Gillan glassy eyed and wandering to right … legs not under her … and the giant is in hot pursuit! Punching is not crisp but heavy bludgeoning impact to shoulders, temple and ribs - Karen Gillan hammered to the canvas. Redhead down and crowd on its feet! Lawley sent to neutral corner. Karen Gillan on all fours. She’s shaking head trying to clear cobwebs. Count is at seven and she gamely looks to rise but totters and then falls to her right Count in eight … nine … trying to get to her feet … count of ten and ref waives it off just as plucky Scot finally wills herself up. It's all over! Winner by knockout in the seventh and STILL FCBA welterweight champion - Rockin’ Robyn Lawley!

Post fight

Lawley to Fates corner where Karne Gillan is getting the salts. Gillan off her stool and the fighters share an embrace.

Post fight interview with the champion, “She’s tough and she’s game! I won’t lie - I underestimated her. I thought once I put hands on her she’d wilt but you all saw the sixth round. No quit in that girl! Had me doubting myself a little - full praise to Big G (gesturing to Big Bad Gena Lee) for getting my head back into the fight. It’s funny, Scrubby’s always going on and on about staying away from redheads - nothing but trouble, full of vinegar and piss! Well after fighting Righetti and Gillan, I’m starting to agree with him! (laughs) Seriously, I don’t know how long I can hold this belt but I do know this - as long as I do hold it I will be a fighting champion! That means fighting the best - every month! Because if you duck tough fights, then you are no champion, you’re a pretender with a belt!”