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27 January 2023 Jenny McCarthy vs Laura Pausini

Page history last edited by neon 4 weeks, 1 day ago

OFFICIAL FCBA "NEW YEAR, NEW FACES" PPV 2023

Posted by Lookout! Boxing on 27 January 2023 at 9:21 pm

Laura Pausini v Jenny McCarthy

(Results by Lookout, Words by Sceej)

Sparsely attended press conference as Jenny McCarthy trying to make a major event out of her “official entry into cougar boxing” – against an opponent who has lost in the nature of twenty fights in a row. Delusional blonde simply refusing to accept her slide into irrelevancy.

Fight night and Jenny to the ring accompanied by Scrubby McGee and the ever loyal “kid sister” Adrianne Palicki. J- Mac a main eventer, this bout is firmly in the “preliminaries” part of the PPV card. Pausini already in ring wearing black bikini, gloves and boots. Jenny Mac making big entrance to strains of “Return of the Mac” – wearing the red bikini with brass hoop connections at the hip, red boots and gloves.

First round sees Pausini being leggy and using jab, circling and peppering blonde. Mac wild with right hand lead in response, looking to end the fight with one shot. Most are slipped, occasional connects but brunette takes a close first round, Second round McCarthy slows pace, less wild, using her own jab more. Trades of jabs a stalemate. Blonde begins to go to the body with left hook to sap brunette legs. Along ropes there is a rough exchange, both women trading leather. Jenny lands that heavy overhand right and buckles Laura’s knees. McCarthy eyes blaze and hammers opponent with repeated sash weight rights, crude but punishing … until Pausini knees buckle. Brunette down on one knee – referee starts count – at “seven” Pausini tries to push up but legs not there (some ringsiders whispering ‘she punked’).

Winner by knockout in the second – Jenny “Mac the Knife” McCarthy – Jenny leaps on top rope and beating chest with right hand King Kong style, bellowing “I’m back, bytches, I’m back!”.