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Kate Upton vs Charlize Theron
Results: Lookout. Story: Tractorpull
Tale of the Tape
Kate Upton
Age 30
Height 5’10”
112-31-0
4 Unified Welterweight Titles
4 JMDD Titles
2 BBU JMDD Titles
1 Queen of the Ice Hotel
1 Queen of the Beach
Charlize Theron
Age 47
Height 5’9”
322-127-12
1 Universal Studio Featherweight Title (Bantam) 1999, Not recognized
8 Unified Lightweight Titles
7 Unified Welterweight Titles
1 Unified Middleweight Title
3 Maxim Lightweight Titles
2 Paramount Lightweight Titles
1 Reebox Lightweight Title
2 Reebox Welterweight Titles
2 Paramount Welterweight titles
Mistress of the Body Saddle 1/26/08 -1/11/15
Original Member of the Hall Of Fame
Considered the Greatest of All Time (GOAT)
BEFORE
Tess Valmore has been roaming the dressing room area. She stops by Theron’s dressing room. The door is closed. Tess knocks and opens a door for a peek. Charlize is quietly sitting on the massage table waiting to walk down the aisle to the ring. Cassandra Lynn waives her in The mood is quiet, almost somber. Charlize manages a smile and nods her head.Tess says “Why all the doom and gloom.”
Neve: “It’s going to be a tough night. I tried to talk her out of this fight, but she was determined. I think we are prepared for anything as far as our corner job is concerned
Tess; “Do you think Charlize can win this fight?”
Neve; “I don’t know, probably not: I have nothing to do with her training. I work for The Wiz. Cassie asked the boss if I could lead Charlize’s corner team. He gave permission and then Cassie asked me to do it. I said sure. I hadn’t been around Charlize much, but I thought she was nice and I admired her career, so I said yes. You know I am older than Charlize. I retired at the age of 40 and after 117 bouts. She is still going at 47 and after 461 bouts. Off the record, we are prepared for the worst and are hoping for the best, but age, the number of fights and the punishment taken are a big negative. I guess that answers your question
Tess moves to Upton’s dressing room. The door is open. Upton is also ready to make the trip to speak at the podium. The Lookout crew is joking about the fight. Brie welcomes her. Over on the massage table, Yvonne and Missy are playfully arm wrestling. Near by Evangeline is showing Millie how to improve her footwork when delivering a hook. Tess notices Champagne chilling in a bucket for the after fight celebration. Brie says “Yes we intend to celebrate. Anytime you beat Charlize is a time to celebrate. Stop by after the fight and have a glass.” Tess smiles. Yes, she will stop by after the fight. She never passes up a free drink
In the arena, two podiums are set up right next to each other. One for Kate and one for Charlize. Upton has takes the podium. “I want to thank you all for coming. As most of you know, Charlize is a good friend of mine. I didn’t want this fight, but she pushed it. We fought last year and I gave her a terrible beating, but she insisted on fighting me again. Just like last year, everybody knows she has no chance of beating me. Just look at the two of us. I am bigger, seventeen years younger and 25 pounds heavier and faster. I feel sorry for her. For almost fifteen years, she ruled the FCBA winning title after title. Everybody wanted to fight her or be seen with her, She is a beautiful woman, one of the greatest actresses and the leading action star that does her own stunts. What she isn’t, is a prime title contender fighter. Her title days are over. She’s too old and too beat up,, She does great in her age group, but no one young wants to fight her. They have nothing to gain and everything to lose. Some probably don't even know who she is. She still desperately wants to prove she can beat the best of the young fighters. She has fought Kendall Jenner who is twenty one years younger twice. She got KOed twice. She fought Taylor Hill, who is also twenty one years younger twice and got knocked out twice She fought Taylor Swift, eighteen years younger and got obliterated In our last two fights, she got devastated. She was even knocked cold by Daddario and Rihanna who has only won five fights. They were eleven and twelve years younger. Charlize has proven she is smart woman, but she simply refuses to accept that Father Time is saying “You are too old for this sport. Stay in your age group or retire and rest on laurels as the greatest of all time. She going to get knocked out cold again tonight. I hope I don’t hurt her too badly. She is my good friend, but when we are in the ring and the bell rings, she becomes my worst enemy I’m not going to spare the the punishment. She understands that.”
Charlize smiles and says “Kate I want to thank you for listing women who have beaten the snot out of me. You could have listed about forty others, but thanks not doing it. Yes, in our last fight you beat me pretty badly, but tonight is payback time. I know you think this fight will be easy and that you have to be careful you don’t beat me too badly and I appreciate your concern, but I can take care of myself. One thing we can both agree on. is that being good friends is not going to matter when that bell rings.
THE FIGHT
Kate is in the ring wearing a orange bikini with black boots and gloves. Charlize is in her usual red bikini and red gloves and boots. The referee calls them into the center of the ring for instructions Charlize has heard 461 times. Instead of touching the gloves the two give each other a big hug and Kate whispers something to Charlize as they move to their corners
Round 1. At the bell the two move to the center of the ring. Charlize pushes out that right jab she always uses to start a fight, Kate blocks in and lands an overhand right to Theron’s face snapping her head back andthen lands a left to the midsection. Chalize responds with a left to the left side of Kate’s head. The two exchange punches to the head and then Kate digs a right deep into Chalize’s midsection. That hurt. Charlize backs off and then looks for an opening. Charlize catches Kate with a right cross and Kate responds in kind, but follows up with a right, left, right, left one after another driving her opponent back to the ropes. Charlize raises her guard to protect her head so Kate goes back to work on Theron’s slender body. Once again, Kate goes to her opponents midsection. Those punches are hurting Charlize as she goes into a crouch with her gloves protecting her head. Kate straightens Chalize up with an uppercut to the chin. She has Charlize hurt again, but Charlize drives an overhand right to Kate’s face forcing her back and allowing Charlize to get off the ropes. Charlize is now pursuing Kate when anther right cross staggers the older fighter and the mainly Upton supporting crowd comes to it’s feet thinking the next punch will end the fight. They are disappointed as the round ends. In Kate’s corner Missy Peregrym tells her she has control of the fight. No need to hurry. She doesn’t have Theron that bad off that one punch would end it. In Theron’s corner, Neve advises not to get into a slugging match. She should use those famous legs to control the fight.
Round 2. Charlize wants to dazzle Kate with her legs. Move and peck away with jabs and pile up the points. Charlize is moving in on Kate landing a couple jabs and the backing out before Kate can unload. Charlize’s moving in and out and landing punches has Kate frustrated, but not hurt. Finally as Charlize quickly moves in a right uppercut buckles Charlize legs and she reels back to the ropes. Kate is slow to follow and Charlize manages to get off the ropes, move to her right and catch Kate with a right to the head stopping Kate in her tracks. Charlize continue to move and out, landing punch after punch to Kates head and then dropping down to her chest. Kate simply isn’t going to tolerate chest abuse and changes Theron ramming her back into the ropes. Kate misses with a blockbuster right and Charlize catches her with a right to the nose. Kate is irate and gets ready for a big right hand, but Charlize slides to her left and is quickly out or range. It’s now Kate following and Charlize pretty much dominating the moving and frustrating Kate who wants to duke it out. The mainly pro Upton crowd is yelling for Charlize to stand and fight, but Charlize continues to move to a side and then in, land a punch or two and move out. Kates wants to get Charlie slugging, but it is not going to happen as the round ends. In Kates corner Missy tells her not to get frustrated. Let Theron use those legs. There are eight rounds to go. Theron can’t keep that movement up much longer. In Theron’s corner, Neve tells her good job. Eventually Kate is going to make a big mistake
Round 3. With the lack of success she had in round 2, at the bell, Kate moves to the center of the ring. but Charlize moves to the left parallel too the ropes. Charlize sees no reason to change tactics right now. Kate is following, but Charlize isn’t going to engage. Suddenly Charlize moves straight at her and lands three quick jabs to her face and quickly backs out Again the crowd is unhappy with Theron’s avoidance of a real fight they came to see. Again, Theron quickly moves in lands a flurry of jabs and backs out. Kate is getting tired of her face being rearranged. She knows what Theron is doing and as Theron once again quickly closes. she has it perfectly timed. She lands an overhand right to Charlizes face that stops her. Kate rocks Charlize with a hard right cross, then a left. Charlize tries to stop Kate, but a right cross goes astray and Kate is in close and start working on Charlize body. She wants to neutralize those legs, take away her rivals ability to move quickly. Kate lands punch after punch into Charlize’s midsection forcing her to the ropes. A desperate right hook lands on Kates chin stopping her attack for just seconds, but Charlize legs it away from the ropes to the center of the ring. That’s where Kate wants her as the round ends. In Kates corner Missy is upbeat. She thinks they have Theron figured out and now it is only a matter to time. In Charlize’s corner, Neve again is telling her not to get into punching contest with Kate.
Round 4. Once again Charlize moves parallel to the ropes which Kate expected and she quickly closes on the GOAT. Charlize realizes that she is in danger of being moved into a corner, so she comes out with a left-right combination to Kate’s head. Kate takes it and a right hook the chin and left to the midsection drive Charlize into the corner she was trying to avoid. Now Theron is going to have to fight her way out and she lands a pair of crosses to Kates head sening Kate back a couple steps. Theron is out of the corner, but her relief is short lived as Kates eyes bore holes thourh her. Kate pounds a pair of straight punches into Charlize’s chest. She knows that hurt Charlize. She follows with a left to the solar plexus and a right hook to the jaw and Charlize is stunned. Kate pours on the punishment Kate knows she has Charlize ready to go, but she won't go down. Kate is determined. Theron is going to go down and now. she sets up to throw that power right ,but the bell rings. Kate’s corner Missy tells she has Charlize where she wants her and to finish her. In Theron’s corner, Neve once again tell her she can’t get into a punching contest with Upton.
Round 5. Upton is confidently out of her corner to the center of the ring. Charlize is a lot slower now. Apparently Upton has taken some vigor out of those legs. Kate lunges at Theron and drives a hard right into Charlize midsection that stops her cold. A right cross, left cross sends the older woman into the ropes. Charlize raises her guard to protect her head and Kate guts her with a right to the solar plexus. Charlize manages to get into a clinch and holds on in desperation. The referee has difficulty separating them. Charlize somehow has her guard back up protecting her face and head so Kate goes to work on her chest with hooks and crosses. She has Charlize badly hurt. Time to end it. but Charlize manages a right uppercut that sends Kate back a couple steps. Kate moves back in with a left cross, right hook. Charlize’s hands are dropping low and the referee starts watching Theron closely as her eyes look a little glassy as the round ends. Charlize heads to the wrong corner. Neve screams at her. Charlize stops and then heads toward her corner and the famous Nascar corner goes into emergency procedures, ammonia, leg massage, cold towels, shoulder rubs. In Kates corner they know it ,only a matter of time now. In Theron’s corner, Cassandra Lynn tells Neve they need to throw the towel in. Neve says no. Cassie says Charlize is her BFF and she can’t watch Charlize take more unnecessary punishment. Neve holds firm. Charlize doesn’t quit. Kate is going to have to knock her out
Round 6. At the bell Charlize simply moves to the ropes. Upton quickly closes. Charlize has both hands up to protect her head. Kate starts working on the midsection to bring Charlize hands down. The hands drop to her waist and Upton takes advantage and start using Theron’s head as a punching bag. Lefts and rights punch Theron’s head one way then the other. Many in the crowd are calling for the fight to be stopped. Theron is standing up, leaning against the ropes. Her hands are back up, but Charlize is not punching back. She is just taking and taking, Her right hand drops her side. The left remains high She is putting up no defence. Her face badly bruised.There’s a hint of blood from her nose. Kate turns to the referee and pleads for him to stop the fight. Charlize sees Kate use her right hand to point to her. The referee says that Theron’s guard is partially up and her eye’s are clear. The fight will continue, Kate pleads one more time turning completely towards Charlize. She is raising her hands for the final assault. Her hands are now at her waist. Charlize knows she she’s road kill. She doesn’t have much left. This is it, Now or never She lunges towards Kate. Charlize puts everything she has left into a right uppercut that lands on the point of Kates chin. Chalize falls back to the ropes. She’s done. She has nothing left. She hears Neve yell to hold on to the ropes. Kates knees buckle, she takes a step back and crashes to the canvas on her back hitting the back of her head hard on the canvas. The crowd is silent. Not a word. as they simply can’t believe what they just saw. The badly beaten Theron sees Kate down on the canvas. She prays that Kate doesn’t get up. She knows she’s toast if Upton makes it. Kate rolls over onto her stomach at the count of four. She is on her hands and knees at eight but that is as for as she gets and she is still down as the count reaches ten. Charlize sinks to the canvas with sobs of relief and hurt racking her body. Neve and Cassie get to Charlize, and carry her to her stool. Kate is up now walking normally and looking beautiful and goes to Theron’s coner to check on her and she sees how badly beaten Charlize actually is. Neve is cautious of Kate’s approach, but Kate tells her she has lost before and she can see that Charlize needs help getting back to her dressing room. Neve tells her that they will take care of it. The mostly pro-Upton crowd is silent as Charlize is helped back to her dressing room by Neve and Cassandra Lynn, but wildly cheer Upton. They know she lost the battle, but probably won the war between them
Charlize Theron knocks Kate Upton out in six in a huge upset, probably the upset of the year.
AFTER
Kate is at the press table. “Well I guess you still can’t believe it. Trust me it actually happened. I knew Charlize was finished. I just couldn’t find the sweet spot to knock her out. Of course, others have and I knocked her out in our last two fights, but tonight, I just didn’t hit it. I didn’t think she had more fight or power in her and of course I dropped my guard when begging the ref to stop the fight. I should have never turned toward her with my guard at my waist.Tonight you saw what makes Charlize the greatest. A devastated fighter who came back to win. Nobody can take more punishment than she can. Charlize won’t come out to talk to you tonight. You wouldn’t recognize her if she did. I did a job on her. Her nose is swollen, one eye is blacking. Her face is badly bruised and bloody. Her midsection terribly bruised and her chest slightly swollen, The doctor has just finished examining and x-raying her and Neve’s favorite make up artist is starting to do a repair job. You know, I should have won this fight.The referee should have stopped the fight, but he refused and I was pleading with him using my hands to make a point and then turned to look at Charlize and got careless with my guard and didn’t raise it in time. My corner has warned me of that famous saying is that the Theron is most dangerous when hurt. I thought she was beyond hurt and it cost me.
Blonde Magazine. Theron has warned referees to never stop one of her fights if she is the one being beaten. You think the referee had that in mind?
Kate: Yes I do
Tess Valmore; “You two are even now at two each. Do you think there will be a fifth.
Kate: “I really don’t know. I suspect Charlize will have second thoughts and quite frankly, I really don’t want to fight a good friend again. Charlize took a really bad beating even though she won. Fighting a good friend is a no win situation. Now, I’m not saying no, I didn’t want this fight. Hopefully someone will talk some sense into her
THE PRESS
Tractorpull: Tess Valmore calls the win bizarre. “When fighting Charlize, never feel sorry for her”
Smackey of Boxing World comments “If you really want to know who won this bout just look at the before and after pictures of each fighter”
FCBA Magazine points out that if “Upton wasn’t a decent human being she wouldn’t have lost this fight. She shouldn’t have begged the ref to stop the fight Charlize took advantage of it,”
Blonde Magazine. The winner of this bout was the loser.
Brunette Magazine: A typical blonde fight. The winner, Theron was more than beaten unrecognizable by Upton, who lost
Female Boxing; A careless ten seconds and the loser turned out to be the winner.
Caesars SportsBook: We are not fond of that feeble old woman. You have no idea how much money she cost us |
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