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29 September 2023 Ch Jenny McCarthy vs Kathryn Winnick

Page history last edited by neon 4 weeks ago

OFFICIAL FCBA "SEPTEMBER TO REMEMBER" PPV 2023

Posted by Lookout! Boxing on 29 September 2023 at 7:58 pm

Jenny McCarthy versus Kathryn Winnick (Cougar Title)

(results by Lookout, words by Sceej)

Well, folks - this one’s for the Cougar Championship Belt - even though neither of these fighters has ever WON that particular belt? Wild set of circumstances where Kate Beckinsale takes it upon herself to BEQUEATH the belt to her worst enemy when she retired - making the hamster wheel in Jenny’s skull work double time. First dismissing the belt as trash, then when officials try to actually reclaim the belt, Jenny’s legendary title lust gets the better of her and she literally ran from Beckinsale presser with the championship belt!

Kate chuckles that she has just put a huge target on the blonde’s back and the Greatest Fighting Playmate of All Time is blissfully unaware of that!

Press Conference

Drama pre-fight press conference as Jenny is asked to respond to claims that there SHOULD have been a tournament to fill an empty title … and if it was going to simply be handed to anyone, it should have been Kate Winnick, who was runner up in the tournament to name title holder. Jenny’s word salad response defies transcription but best effort follows:

“Well, its all well and good and good and well to say that but the fact remains that I have beaten Beckinsale before many times … and I also beat Katheryn Whatever many times (reporters trying to interject that Winnick won their only prior fight!) … and also too … I am the Greatest Fighting Playmate of All Time! That combined with everything else … ipso facto … I am the only logicful choice to be champion .. which I will prove by beating this nobody!”. Scribes furiously jotting notes, trying to make sense of McCarthy gibberish, one muses “Damn, did Blondie actually use ‘ipso facto’ correctly?”

Booing from some in the press - they are VERY familiar with Mac’s antics but that doesn’t mean they like them! Scattered applause as Katheryn Winnick steps to mic, “I know there was some controversy but I have no issue and no ill will. I am grateful for the opportunity …”

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING!!!” - McCarthy has cupped hands into a megaphone and shouting down the Canadian. When Kate tries to speak again, same act form brash blonde “champion”. Eventually, Winnick just waves to press and steps away from microphones. Carmen Elecrtra, manager of Dollhouse Boxing, glaring at old frenemy J-Mac and murmuring through pursed lips, when press gets to her, its officially “No comment - at Dollhouse we let our fists do our talking!”

The boys who bet see this thing this way - McCarthy the bigger woman at 5’7” to Winnick’s 5’4”. Most touts throw out Jenny’s experience in multiple title fights because the plain fact is that while it is true that the Greatest Fighting Playmate of All Time has stepped into the ring with a championship on the line FOURTEEN times, she’s only won … twice! Record wise, Winnick a sterling 44 wins against 22 losses while Mac is below water at 77 wins and 85 losses! Winnick is roughly seven years younger too - fighting as a cougar is one thing but J-Mac is on the wrong side of FIFTY!!! Winnick installed as a solid favorite.

Fight Night

Big roar from crowd as Katheryn Winnick makes her way to the ring - clean and unpretentious fighter who has made her mark despite getting a late start to her boxing career. Outstanding record of 42-22 with a knockout victory over McCarthy in 2019. Only thing missing from her resume? A title!

Katheryn makes her way to the ring wearing her trademark white sports bra with black trim, matching shorts and white gloves. Long blonde hair tied in a sleek ponytail. She is accompanied by Dollhouse CEO Carmen Electra and head trainer Kristina Loken. Strains of “Mack the Knife” echo form soundsystem and here comes Jenny McCarthy follows and it seems like the legendary playmate is getting booed hard (and is LOVING it!) as she struts to the ring with that cocky smile of hers. J-Mac is wearing her throwback scarlett bikini with brass ring connectors at the hips and bra cups, with matching red gloves. Blonde mane tied in a curled ponytail. She’s accompanied by veteran Sceej trainer Scrubby McGee and seconded by Big Bad Gena Lee Nolin. Tense moments during ring instructions - McCarthy smirking, Electra seething, and Loken and Nolin in a not so sentimental discussion of their vicious rivalry.

Ring announcer doing the introductions “... weighing 112 pounds, the always classy Katheryn Winnick!” followed by “ weighing in at 125 pounds, the former FCBA bantamweight champion … Jenny … ‘Mac the Knife” … McCarthy!”. Jenny coming in BIG and giving pause to some of those Winnick betters! Cougar belt supposed to be for flyweights and bantamweights, murmur ringside about just how big you can be and still qualify? A gray area for the FCBA commission to look into AND Jenny McCarthy straining (breaking?) the rules … again!!!

Round 1

Winnick, the smaller woman, out of corner, up on her toes, behind high guard - J-Mac unhurried. almost laconic, right duke at her chin while left dangles at thigh level. Canadian fighting cautious behind her jab, J-Mac mostly batting jab aside with her glove and smirking. Jenny draw imaginary line with toe and beckons with gloves for Winnick to stand her ground but Katheryn not having it. Playmate getting all theatrical - crosses hands behind her back and sticks out chin … and gets TAGGED! Katheryn Winnick lunges in and plants straight right to point of Playmate chin! McCarthy legs unhinged and she reels backward … ropes alone save her from likely knockdown. Dollhouse fighter is on her, bending stricken beauty back with right forearm under her chin, then sharp hard left spanking Playmate flank! McCarthy looking to clinch but Winnick not having it! Violent shoulder shrug to free hands and then Canadian just moving both hands, pumping to midriff as McCarthy sags over her shoulders. Abruptly, Katheryn pushes off with both palms and cracks left hook flush to jaw … McCarthy going down but reaches and clutches opponent, hanging on for dear life! Crowd on its feet and roaring - could we see title change hands on a first round knockout?!! Referee still trying to untangle fighters, dazed McCarthy clinging like an octopus, as the bell rings. Dazed McCarthy looking for her corner, bumps into Winnick - not a word from Canadian - just a cold as ice glare!

Canadian boxing royalty at ringside going wild, leading one reporter ask incredulously, “Did I just see Neve Cambell high five Rachel McAdams?!!”

Sceej corner sees McCarthy getting ice on neck, Nolin slapping Mac’s face, while Dollhouse corner has Electra praising and scolding, “Great round … but you SHOULD have had her!”

Round 2

Winnick sent out of corner with admonition “FINISH HER!”. The minute break seemed like five seconds to J-Mac who is still unsteady. Winnick being patient, touching Sceej fighter up with the jab and circling, making Jenny constantly adjust those wobbly legs. Winnick sets up, feints the jab and goes for a home run right to the head; Mac able to partly slip it, skids off side of scalp and Jenny Mac clinches for dear life. No wasted effort wrestling by Dollhouse battler, simply digs sturdy legs into canvas and walks the bigger woman backward into the ropes where she sets up shop, head under McCarthy chin and sets to task of breaking her blonde down. Winnich grinding, popping hips left to dig with right and then popping hips right to dig with the left. McCarthy, pale, stricken and mouth breathing - grunting with each shot. Desperate Playmate stomps Winnicks foot and then looks to drive knee to crotch - cheap move has crowd roaring in outrage and fails to connect BUT it is mission accomplished - referee between fighters and wagging finger, walks McCarthy to mid-ring and indicates he is deducting a point for the foul (and all the while giving the wounded blonde precious seconds to recover!!!). Winnick back on her, looking to keep momentum going, but Jenny feints right and clinches … again. Women wrestle ugly - then Mac spins so back is to the referee and sneaks right hand to the groin … and doubles up on it! Fans screaming blue murder, Winnick wounded, (and referee clueless?) and J-Mac rampaging - right hand crazy, just shipping it and punishing stricken beauty. Even shots of shoulders and forearms are shaking Kate! Jenny lands a cheap shot to the temple after bell when Winnick lets guard down - referee all over her as Mac furiously claiming it was AT the bell, not after.

McCarthy: “Get your eyes examined! Get your hearing checked! What do you think this is - a f*cking sorority pillow fight? Who paid you off anyway?”

Rounds 3-4

Loken getting in Winnick’s face, “This bully B.S. stops now, you understand me? Now!!! You go out there and MAKE her respect you! Every exchange YOU throw the last punch, got it? You throw the last punch every time!

Bell rings to start the round and Canadian working the perimeter, cautious behind guard, buying time to clear head further from a rough second round. Winnich uses (relative) youth, speed and class to frustrate hard punching Playmate - she’s in, she jabs, and she’s gone! McCarthy feigns shimmy in the knees, mocking lack of power in the shots but she is getting smartly tuned up! Frustrates J-Mac finally lunging forward with left right left combination, first two punches slipped by Katheryn … and literally tackles Winnick with a move that would have made old McCarthy beau Brian Urlacher proud. Fighters tangled on canvas, ref working hard to break it up, and Jenny doing some dirty work with the knees and elbows. Once separated, ref takes Playmate by the wrist and brings her center ring, indicating he is deducting a point. McCarthy apoplectic, “Are you f*cking kidding me? She dragged ME down!!!”. Loss of a point cements what was likely a Winnick round in any case. Coming out for the fourth, Winnick refreshed (notwithstanding impromptu WWE action) and begins to wheel and deal. Now the jab is stiff - pounding Jenny’s head back like a Pez dispenser. Angry McCarthy loading up on overhand rights but Canadian fighter is a wisp and Chicago slugger is mostly hitting not there anymore air!

Jenny reaches a little too far with long right and gets rung up with a counter left hook - and suddenly Mac’s legs are not there. Genuine shimmy in the knees and she is staring through ill focused eyes. Tries to backpedal but heel catches canvas and she stumbles into ropes. Katheryn Winnick seizes the moment - guts J-Mac with hard right to the breadbasket, drawing a grunt and bending her forward and follows with double left uppercuts - second punch catches chin and PLAYMATE DOWN! Crowd on its feet as “champion” sprawls to all fours and Kate throws hands into air! Referee bodies Winnick backward to a neutral corner and returns to pick up the count at “4” McCarthy on one knee by “6”, with one hand on the rope and shakes head furiously to clear cobwebs

Cassie Scerbo ringside with Neve Campbell, who is supporting countrywoman Winnick, claps hands and declares, “Did you hear it? Did you hear it? You can actually hear the little pea sized brain rattling around in her skull when she shakes her head!”

One minute to go in the fourth. Legs not there so Jenny Mac, back to the ropes, puts elbows tight to the body, looking to cover flanks and hide face behind gloves and waits for the storm … and she does not have to wait long! Katheryn Winnich is all in and puts the axe to the Playmate for a long long minute. Left right to the body, cuffing left hooks to the head, pulling down on gloves to pry apiary guard and then straight right hand to the forehead … Jenny’s strong legs and pure stubbornness holding her up. At bell, Jenny wanders halfway around ring before finally realizing which corner is hers! Huge round for Winnick.

Rounds 5-6

Round 5 features a slightly punched out Winnick pursuing a still groggy McCarthy. Mac showcasing her underrated defensive skills. Backpedaling, using length of jab to hold Dollhouse fighter at bay. When Winnick does close and land, J-Mac quick to clinch. Fifth round is a dull sloppy affair but two of three judges actually give nod to Jenny.

Sixth round shows both fighters getting a second wind. Patient, professional boxing by two seasoned professionally vying for one championship belt! Two blonds stepping, pawing lefts at one another, looking for right hands. Midway through it's Jenny Mac - leaning in with the cross and tagging Katheryn, catching a LOT of chin - Winnick’s legs can't handle it. Che looks to clinch but Jenny goes all big girl, walking her to the ropes and slamming a crude left forearm smash under the line of breasts. Mac keeping bigger body on Winnick, smothering her and working her cheap, shots to waistline, (and below), inside elbow to the jaw, forearm under ching to lever Kate backward and expose midriff for body punching. Mac pumping right to the midriff. Body shots landing with thick wet thud, McCarthy is draining Winnick and nothing the smaller girl can do about it. Tomahawking right to the temple and DOWN GOES WINNICK - just spent form the vicious rope work, she rolls to her back, squinting eyes. Tries to rise at “7” but legs are not there.

Winner by knockout in the 6th and still (or would it be more proper to say ‘officially”) FCBA Cougar champion - Jenny “Mac the Knife” McCarthy.

For someone who had disparaged the belt when it was around Beckinsale’ waist, Jenny ranting post fight would have you think she just beat Amanda Righetti or Charlize Theron. “... greatest Cougar champion ever … rule with an iron fist … Beckinsale, Campbell … get off your asses and come get some!”