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27 October 2023 Ch Jenny McCarthy vs Kim Kardashian

Page history last edited by neon 4 weeks ago

OFFICIAL FCBA "FIGHTS AND FRIGHTS" PPV 2023

Posted by Lookout! Boxing on 27 October 2023 at 10:59 pm

Jenny McCarthy versus Kim Kardashian (Cougar Title)

(Results: Lookout. Words: Wiz)

BEFORE:

Oh, the run up to this one. First, we have Kardashian and the media circus that comes to town any time she does anything, getting her first title shot in her sixteenth year in the FCBA. Add in McCarthy and the three rings that accompany her, throw in a dash of the "legitimacy controversy", still fresh, after J-Mac was "awarded" the Cougar title by arch rival Kate Beckinsale upon Beckinsale's retirement, mix with pre-fight interviews that include McCarthy claiming that Kardashian isn't a "real" celebrity since she's only famous because of a sex tape, then bake at 450 for however long it takes you to sell all the seats for this thing.

"Look," says Kim with a smile, "I'm not worried about whether J-Mac is 'legit' as a champion or not. And, no one else will be, either, after I starch her and take that belt tonight."

"YES, I'm LEGITIMATELY the Cougar Champion!" J-Mac insists. "Just ask WInnick if you don't believe me! I'm ALREADY the Greatest Fighting Playmate of All Time! Now, I'm going to be the Greatest Cougar Champion of All Time!"

ROUND ONE:

McCarthy may be over 50, but the athleticism is still clearly there early in this one. The blonde is on the toes and on the move early, and Kim has no answer for it. J-Mac is ranging around the ring, jabbing, dancing, stopping to put together a quick combination, then slipping a rejoinder from the brunette and bouncing away. It's vintage J-Mac, no question of that. For Kim's part, she's resolute. The plan is to close and bang, and she's going to need to do that with the reach she's giving up. The blonde, though, is having none of it, at least in the opening stanza. Instead, she's bouncin' and misbehavin' right to the final bell. When it rings, it's McCarthy wide and with the 10-9 lead.

ROUND TWO:

Kardashian jawing early, trying to goad McCarthy into slugging with her. No shock at all that this WORKS, despite the shouting from the champion's corner urging her to get back on her bike. Instead, the blonde gets down in the mud with a fighter who's specializes in slop. They're banging away inside now, pretending this thing is for the JMD title and not the Cougar championship. Fighters are throwing leather at every legal body part, thumping belly, ribs, rack, along with the work upstairs. Blonde and brunette are on even terms throughout, and, when the bell rings, it's plenty close, but it's Kim K. who's won the day, evening things at 19.

ROUND THREE:

Blonde and brunette slopping again. Sceej corner talked until it was blue in the face between rounds, but their fighter clearly paid no attention. She's battling again on Kardashian's terms, and now Kim's making her pay for it. Champion's being backed up by solid shot to the head, and she's pinking up around the ribs where the brunette beauty's getting a TON of work in. But, rather than get back in motion, the blonde just keeps slugging away, determined to beat the challenger at her own game. The lone bit of good news for McCarthy is that she's never hurt in the round and she does manage to score a few points here and there, but, at the bell, Kim's taken it wide to lead 29-28.

ROUND FOUR:

Actual shouting in McCarthy's face gets the champ's attention, apparently, and she's back on the bike in the fourth. Amazingly, the body pounding she took in the previous two rounds doesn't seem to have slowed her. Instead, she leads Kim K. on a merry chase once again, much like she did in the opening stanza. Kardashian's moving forward, looking to cut the ring, but McCarthy's too quick, too slick. She's there and gone again before Kim can get off. Kardashian looking more than a little frustrated late in the round. She's getting sloppy and the champion is making her pay. Final seconds see a BLISTERING J-Mac combo that forces Kim to cover up. At the bell, there's no question about it. It's J-Mac wide and we're even at 38.

ROUND FIVE:

McCarthy taking the fight to the challenger. Kim may have been a little buzzed by that last combination in the previous round, because she's looking a little unsteady now, and she's getting backed up consistently by the champion. BOOM! Right hand, J-MAC and DOWN GOES KARDASHIAN! Kim spilled to that famous rump by a PRETTY right from the blonde, who bounces to a neutral corner to watch and wait. No joy in Macville, however, as Kim gets to her feet at eight and takes the mandatory. Ref waves on Mac, who comes bearing no gifts but many punches. She batters her rival back into the ropes and has at that sturdy body, giving Kardashian a beating before going upstairs to try to force the ref's hand. He's looking in closely, but Kim does juuuusttttt enough to keep him at bay to the bell. When it rings, McCarthy's pulled into a 48-46 lead at the half.

ROUND SIX:

McCarthy pouring the fire on the challenger. She's determined to finish this thing now. Kim giving ground, countering in spots, taking the worst of it as she tries to slow down the blonde offensive...BOOM! Right hand, KIM and J-MAC is HURT! Kardashian a NASTY counter and McCarthy is ALL WOBBLY BUTT! And, now it's the challenger going all in, backing up the dazed champion with flurry after flurry of hard shot. McCarthy defending well, but she's taking quite the beating, especially once Kim traps her on the ropes and goes to work on that already tenderized body. J-Mac hanging on in a tight guard as the brunette thumps away to the bell. It's Kim wide, and the challenger has cut the champ's lead to 57-56.

ROUND SEVEN:

Seventh begins with KARDASHIAN pouring the fire on the champion. McCarthy fighting grimly, giving ground, firing back when she can, determined to ride this out while she waits for her legs to come back. Kim, meanwhile, looking to finish. She's working body in spots, but mostly concentrating upstairs now. Two minutes in. BOOM! Right hook, KIM and McCarthy nearly goes down! Kardashian OPENS UP on the champion, throwing everything but the kitchen sink at her. J-Mac a wreck, staggering, wobbling. Ref has to do something here and DOWN GOES MCCARTHY! A right hook sends Mac crashing to her right side and Kardashian marches to a neutral corner with her arms raised in victory. McCarthy struggling to get off the canvas as the count goes on, but she CAN'T DO IT! It's OVER! The count passes J-Mac by and your winner by KO7 and NEW Cougar Champion is Kim Kardashian!

AFTER:

Kim a little choked up in the post. After all, it's been 16 years and for the vast majority of them, virtually no one would have predicted Ms. Kardashian would end up with gold around her waist. "Nobody thought I'd ever do this," the brunette beauty says with a smile. "I'll admit, even I had my doubts. But, when I got this shot? I KNEW I was going to do it, knew I was going to beat her. And, here we are. You have a new Cougar Champion, and, she plans to weave a path of destruction through the FCBA!"