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17 March 2023 Brie Larson vs Jenny McCarthy

Page history last edited by neon 1 week, 1 day ago

ST. PADDY'S DAY MASSACRE 2023 (BARE KNUCKLE)

Posted by Lookout! Boxing on 17 March 2023 at 4:55 pm

McCarthy v Larson - 2023 St. Paddy’s Day Massacre

(Words: Sceej / Results: Lookout!)

Venue is Rory Dolan’s Ale House but the dance floor is cleared tonight - the space is cleared, tables set up for the high roller types and dozens of others craning necks to see the latest installment of an FCBA tradition that dates back to 2006 (and unofficially earlier than that!) - it’s come-as-you-are bare knuckles bar fighting - once again presented by JOD Sports Entertainment (FCBA Hall of Famer Jenny O’Dell, president) and it promises to be a barnburner as “Captain Marevel” herself - Brie Larson - squares off against the bad girl from Chicago - Jenny “Mac the Knife” McCarthy.

Ringside (if that even applies? Tables surrounding a large cleared area of wooden floor) include FCBA royalty … Lookout Boxing backing their girl Larson … Miss Ginny … Front Street well represented and hosting Tess Valmore of Tractorpull. Crowd riled up by prospect of old fashioned bare knucks fighting, the liquor is flowing and the Dropkick Murphys are tearing it up. Flashing cash as wagers made - fight is considered even money - edge in size, youth and record all going to Larson BUT she has no experience in this format while no one has more experience in bar fighting than Jenny Mac! Brie Larson, black sports bra, jeans and trainers (and a very uncertain look on her face) steps tentatively forward - both fighters bare knuckles. “Now I want a good clean fight …” warns Peggy; “And I want to be President of the United States!”, snickers J-Mac in reply, drawing a scowl from Big Peggy! “Now there’ll be no shenanigans - fair play at all times! This will be a fight to the finish, with three minute rounds. The fight shall end only if a fighter is counted out, quits, or is found unable to continue! If there are no questions … and without further ado … Ladies (“Well, ONE is a lady” cracks Cassie Scerbo from the Front Street table) … FIGHT!”

No sooner does the referee finishes pronouncing the “t” in “fight” then J-Mac cracks a right hand lead of Larson’s jaw and sends the Marvel star reeling backward. Brie struggling to keep her feet and the Playmate lowers her shoulder and charges. Larson clinches and is treated to a hellacious head butt. Separating the fighters, Peggy Dolan wags a finger in Jenny’s face (and is treated to an eyeroll that would do a bored pre teen girl credit!). With the instruction “FIGHT”, Larson proves a quick study as she blasts McCarthy with a teeth chattering left uppercut! A stalemate of holding and hitting ensues - until Mac stomps Brie’s foot with those steel toed boots and then cracks her a choice left hook across the chops. Bell rings (boos from the crowd) - Jenny looking to rally her supporters by downing ANOTHER pint between rounds!

Brie up on her toes to start the second round - jabbing McCarthy and snapping her head back (What does she think this is? A boxing match?!!) - and then she is gone when Mac looks to respond with haymaker. Slick heel turns by Larson, not letting Jenny set her feet to slug. Frustrated Jenny draws line with her toe in sawdust, demanding Brie “Stand and fight!” - but Brie would rather move and dominate the round!

Bell rings for start of third and Jenny finishing off (an ill advised?) third Guiness (and that does not include pre-fight pints! Larson likes what she sees and is now working the one two - jab and follow up right hands. Piece of cake to slip wild right counters. Blonde is disoriented … frustrated … and finally down for the count as Brie Larson pounds repeated right hand leads to finish her beer soaked opponent! Winner by knock out in the third - Brie Larson

After: As you might expect, there are rumors of further brawls between those present at the bar, but for now, Brie emerges triumphant in this annual St. Patrick's Day tradition. To the victor goes the spoils, so Brie buys a round for the entire bar as the Captain Marvel star indicates drinks are on her as the bar erupts with cheers. But then with a smile, Larson gestures with her thumb to a half conscious Jenny propped up in a booth and says “ Put it on HER tab!” And to all a Happy Saint Patrick's Day - Slainte!