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BOXING ON THE BEACH

Posted by Tractorpull on 15 March 2024 at 9:48 am

Elisabetta Canalis vs Charlize Theron

Results Lookout. Story, Tractorpull

Tale of the Tape
Elisabetta Canalis
Age 46
Height 5’7”
10-24-0
1 Italian Lightweight Title

Charlize Theron
Age 48
Height 5’9’
343-129-12
2 Universal Featherweight Titles 1999
1 MTV 116 Lbs Title 1999
1 Playboy Title 1999
1 Nike 122 LBS Title 1999
1 Studio Lightweight Title 1999. 1999 titles not recognized as official
8 Unified Lightweight Titles
7 Unified Welterweight Titles
1 Unified Middleweight Title
3 Maxim Lightweight Titles
2 Paramount Lightweight Titles
1 Reebox Lightweight Title
2 Reebox Welterweight Titles
2 Paramount Welterweight Titles
Mistress of the Body Saddle 1/28/08-1/11/15
Original Member of the Hall of Fame
Recognized as the Greatest of All Time (GOAT

BEFORE

It’s a great day on the Redneck Riviera. Not a cloud in the sky. The temperature is 77 degrees. The clear blue waves of the Caribbean are lapping the white sands of the Alabama beach. The bleachers around the ring are full. It will soon be fight time.

Elisabetta is on the Podium. As usual Charlize doesn’t appear for fear of saying something wrong, Elisabetta “I’m one of the few European fighters who has been following Charlize. I have been following her for years Many of you are surprised I am getting in the ring with her. I know what she wants.
She has a big fight with Upton at the end of the month. She wants someone to fight that she knows she can beat but give her a few rounds. Well I am going to try and give her some rounds but it isn’t going to help her against Upton. It’s a nice try, but Upton is going to cold cock her” Charlize in the dressing room, “I can’t believe she said that” Kate Upton who serves as part of her corner “Charlize she is just telling the truth. You won’t admit it but you know she’s right. Neve shakes her head in agreement. Charlize “I can’t
Believe this. My own people agree” Kate “You have to win this fight first and we are all rooting for you”

THE FIGHT
Elisabetta is in a green bikini with black gloves and boots. Her hair Is in a bun at the back of her head. Charlize is in her usual red bikini with red gloves and boots. Her hair is is a ponytail. She been appearing like this for years. The meet in the center of the ring for instructions that Charlize has heard 484 times. They touch gloves and head to their corners,

Round 1. Canalis is well aware of Charlize’s habit of opening the fight with right jabs. She beats Charlize to the punch with a left hook to the chin, then a left cross to the head followed by a right. Charlize totally surprised. She finally lands that right jab. It doesn’t faze Canalis, who lands another left-right to the jaw and has Charlize on the ropes. Charlize doesn’t have much punching room, but manages a left hook to the chin. Canalis takes it and lands an overhand right between the blonde’s eyes. Charlize hurt. The crowd comes to it’s feet as they sense a huge upset is in the making, Canalis pounds away at Charlize with left and right crosses to the jaw and then a left hook to the stomach. A right cross from Charlize misses and she takes a left-right to the chest and a right uppercut to the chin. Charlize looks a little glassy eyed and is slightly sagging in the ropes. She takes another right hook to the chin and a left cross. The referee is starting to look closely as nothing is coming back from the great blonde, Canalis set for a power uppercut, but the round ends before the can use it. Charlize staggers to her corner and falls into Upton’s arms who quickly hands her off to Neve and the
well known miracle working Nascar corner. Kate doesn’t say anything so not to interfere with the corners work. They have Charlize on her feet in time for the bell

Round 2. Charlize is slow coming out of her corner. Canalis knows that Charlize took too much of a beating in the last round to be in good shape
She closes on the blonde ready with a right uppercut when she feels Theron’s glove sink into her stomach, She reels back to the ropes where she hopes she can get most of her breath back, Charlize is quick to follow up with a left hook to the chin and a right cross to the chin Elisabetta is desperate and throws a roundhouse right that fortunately lands on the side of Theron’s head causing her to stagger back and Canalis is off the ropes. Charlize recovers, but with respect for Elisabetta’s power moves away. The two are now circling each other looking for an opening. Charlize moves in with a right jab to the face and left cross. Canalis comes back with a pair of hard hooks to Theron’s midsection. The two are close, Theron going to Canalis’s head while Canalis pounds away at Charlize’s body to take those legs away. To nobody’s surprise Charlize is getting the best of it as Canalis looks like she is ready to go. Once again the bell saves one fighter

Round 3. Charlize is out of her corner quickly. She wants to catch Canalis close to her corner. She lands a right to the side of Elisabetta’s head, then a left to the jaw and a right to the body. Canalis is in her corner with limited punching room, but she manages to sink a couple into Theron’s bra. Charlize is hurt and backs off, but Canalis stays with her swiveling her head from one side to the other driving the blonde across the ring. Kate is yelling to punch back and stop simply taking. Charlize didn’t need to be told that She uses those leg to move to side and out of Canalis’s range. Now it’s Charlize that’s on the attack. She lands a right hook to the chin and as Canalis raises her guard. Theron goes to the body with hooks to the mid section and then to the solar plexus. Now it’s Canalis who takes advantage of Theron with her using both hands on the body. She snaps Theron’s head back with a right hook and follows up with a left uppercut. The two are swapping punches with Canalis getting the best of it. Canalis was won the crowd over and they are on their feet as she punches away as Theron sways on the ropes. At the bell, Theron is greeted by a furious Upton, who reads her the riot act of how to win this fight.

Round 4.After Upton’s rant, Charlize wants to end it. Canalis is aware of Charlize getting reamed out because some of her corner were watching. She thinks Theron is going to make a mistake she can take advantage of and beat her to the punches and lay her out. They meet in the center of the ring and each knows this may be it. Charlize lands first, a right cross. Canalis comes back with a left. They are briefly toe to toe but a another right cross sends Charlize back to the ropes. Canalis catches Theron with a pair of crosses and left hook to the chin. Charlize manages a right to the head and a left to the chin. Charlize unleashes, landing punch after punch driving Canalis back to the center of the ring. Canalis knows she has lost the advantage in this round. She knows about Charlize’s power right and sees Theron’s right drop to her hip. Bad news. She fakes a left and then a right which turns her away from Theron’s right hip. It’s what Theron hoped and she steps back and put everything she has into an overhand left.It lands solidly on Canalis’s chin and down she goes. Canalis is down on her back and not moving. Charlize knows the fight is over and takes a deep breath in relief and gets a big hug from Kate when she gets to the corner

AFtER
Elisabetta is the first to speak. “I knew why am here. Charlize wanted rounds, well I have to admit I didn’t give her the rounds we both wanted, but I think I gave her more of a fight than she wanted. Upton was particularly paying attention since Charlize is her next opponent. I wish Charlize good luck in that fight. She’s going to need it’ Charlize starts talking. ‘I want to thank Elisabetta for taking this fight. It didn’t go as planned and she was one punch away from knockout several times. I just wish someone would give me a chance against Upton” Kate “You don’t have one, why can’t you admit it. Look at the odds in Vegas. Listen to the experts but you can’t back out now. Don’t worry. I will have mercy on you”