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29 March 2024 Title Ch Adrianne Palicki vs Stacy Keibler

Page history last edited by neon 2 months, 2 weeks ago

OFFICIAL FCBA "MARCH MADNESS" PPV

Posted by Lookout! Boxing on 29 March 2024 at 8:47 pm

Adrianne Palicki versus Stacy Keibler (Jaguar Title)
(Results - Lookout, Words - Sceej)

Chaotic press conference before Adrianne Palciki’s first defense of Jaguar title - no heat between Adrianne and Stacy Kiebler but Scrubby McGee - fueled by half a bottle of Jamesons that somehow survived St. Patrick’s Day - is fired up.

“Nevah … I nevah had not trouble wit dat goil … wat da hell is her name? Tess Valuemore - dat’s it! But jus’ look at dis!” Scrubby brandishing a copy of Tractorpull and the March PPV predictions, including:

ADRIANNE PALICKI/STACEY KEIBLER. Jaguar Title Attn Ms McElhone. It is really sad to see Adrianne stoop so low in an attempt to add something to her resume

“Wat in da hell? Check da rankings! Sixty five poicent! Addie fights a schedule against goils dat win sixty five poicent of dere fights! Like fightin’s a Hall o’ Famer every time out! If she took easy fights like plenty of udder names I could name, she’d be in dat damn Hall of Fame! But she fights da best - win or lose she fights da best! T’ree times against dat red-headed wreckin’ machine and I didn’t want her messin’ wit dat goil but Addie says no - lets test her. Dis Keegan gol’s got a winnin’ record … she’s an ex champ 2 X… and Addie gets accused of fightin’ soft fights?!! Dere should be an instigation by da damn commissioner! And a apology!”

(https://fcba.freeforums.net/thread/10957/jaguar-rankings-4-23)

For her park, the usually shy “Big Girl Scout” is cringing and blushing at her trainer’s drunken rant while Scrubby is egged on by Jenny McCarthy, who adds “And Walmart is unjustly keeping me out of the Hall of Fame … oh, and Nolin too!”

FIGHT NIGHT

Sound system crackles with famous guitar riff of ZZ Top’s “Legs” and here comes the pride of Baltimore - Stacy Kiebler - accompanied by Natacha McElhone. Any concerns about ring rust dissolve with disrobe - Keebs in sizzling black sports bra, shorts, gloves and boots - boots with silver tassels for flash. Crowd roaring - she has fans no doubt and even the Palciki fans are acknowledging that beauty.

Stacy enjoying her moment when suddenly sound system switches and it’s LL Cool Jay “Momma Said Knock You Out!” and that means one thing - the Chin Checker! Palicki in yellow sports bra, shorts, red gloves and white boots. Seconded by the dean of FCBA trainers - Scrubby McGee.

Stana Katic, who dropped Jaguar title to Adrianne and knows a little about fighting the big hitting blonde, in Kiebler’s coroner as second. Jenny McCarthy working with McGee in Palicki corner - for no damn reason that makes any sense to anybody!

Round 1: Bell rings and it’s on between two big blondes! Kiebler making those tassels sparkle as she skips around the perimeter of the ring, hands low and flashing jab off the hip. Dancing clockwise, the abruptly planting left foot and counterclockwise. Palicki pawing away some of the jabs, occasionally stung, dukes high and that famous right hand cocked. Kiebler get’s cheeky and feigns jab and smacks right hand lead to the temple but takes a thumping left hook to the ribcage in return that pushes her to the ropes. When Sceej fighter looks to flurry, Kiebler latches on and ref left with the task of untangling all those long lithe limbs. On the break, Kiebler with slick veteran move of sliding behind the referee. First round to Keebs off effective jab and ring generalship.

Round 2: Ain’t broke? Don’t fix it! Stacy looking for more of the same - dancer’s legs dazzling big Addie with foot speed. Blonde patience wearing a little thin - tries to herd the lithe beauty into corners but Stacy with slick heel turns. Frustrated Palicki starts to reach with the lead right - once … twice … and BLONDE GIRL DOWN!!! Palicki with lead right, Kiebler snakes neck back and comes back with gorgeous counter left hook right on the jaw and immediate follow up right to forehead and sits the Sceej fighter right on her ass mid-ring! Palicki blinking and staring at ref as though he is speaking Chinese as he picks up the count - Kiebler has already mounted ropes in far corner, pounding chest with gloved fist and bellowing “I told you … I told you …”. In Sceej corner, Jenny Mac with some timely and sisterly advice, “Get up, you big dummy! Get up!”. Palicki, to one knee at “5”, bracing body for the surge … and she is up at “8” … and here comes Stacy Kiebler!!! Left right left - ribs, temple jaw … letting her hands fly. Palciki turtle up and gives up canvas. Battered to ropes where she has to stand soak. Late in the round, stacy a little winded, volume down and Adrianne startles her with sneak uppercut inside. Crowd on feet as big girls chest up at the break - Kiebler yelling, “You’re mine … you’re mine!” and Palciki responding “I’m standing here …”

Rounds 3-4: Cue comeback! Palicki getting read the riot act by McGee, with McCarthy offering word salad of contradictory gibberish until McGee whirls on her and screams, “Jenny, ya eejit - jes shut da hell up!” Chastened McCarthy red in the face - ringside observers including Front Street management guffawing at the shut down! Cassie Scerbo clapping in delight, “I am SO buying that man a drink!” and Wizard cautioning, “Be careful about offering to pick up McGee’s bar bill, Princess, I’m flush but that’s a heavy tab!”

In ring, Kiebler no longer on toes, looking to dig into canvas and put the girl in front of her down again! Crowd pleasing trades of punches mid ring. Palciki clapping left hook to the ribs while Kiebler buffets sides of blonde’s head with slapping left and rights. Both women looking to impost their wills and then Kiebler backs up … now she is in full retreat … midriff aching and starting to cramp. Palciki breaks out the baseball bat and pounds midriff, abruptly gutting lanky opponent with short right to sternum and for first time Stacy clinches. Palciki is back in this thing!

Rounds 5-6: Keebs able to re-establish jab in the fifth and take the round by roaming perimeter and letting long legs and reach do all the work. Looks for more of the same in the sixth but body attack has taken something out of those dancer legs - she can’t stay on toes for full three and when she can’t, she has to stand and exchange with Palicki and inevitably that is going Adrianne’s way.

Round 7: Dissension in CWF corner. McElhone admonishing Kiebler, “Don’t let her dictate! She’s the one who was on her back! She can’t take your punch! Now go out and dominate!!!” while Katic, between gritted teeth, keeps repeating “Watch her power … watch her power … watch her power …”

Prophetess preach! First minute in, Stacy looking to bully Palciki, right hand lead grazes scalp … doubles up on right hand and Palciki parries with glove … triples up and … Stacy Kiebler has just tasted the “third rail” of the FCBA - the overhand right of Adrianne “The Chin Checker” Palicki! Blasted onto her back with arms and legs outstretched - ref waives it off without a count. Winner by knockout in the 7th and STILL Jaguar champion - Adrianne Palicki!

When medics finally get Kiebler up and on a stool, Palicki over to corner. Hand on Kiebler’s shoulder … nods to Katic … whispers in Stacy’s ear .. and then turns to leave with belt over her shoulder.

Dumbfounded Jenny McCarthy left with jaw gaping, “You mean … you’re not gonna walk that sl*t?!!”