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26 April 2024 Title Ch Adrianne Palicki vs Adriana Lima

Page history last edited by neon 1 month ago

OFFICIAL FCBA "APRIL ARMAGEDDON" PPV

Posted by Lookout! Boxing on 26 April 2024 at 6:27 pm

Adrianne Palicki versus Adriana Lima (Jaguar Title)
(Results by Lookout, Words by Sceej)

Title on the line seems almost an afterthought in this one. Palicki looking to get back into contention for one of the major titles - light or welter - and Lima looking to settle an old score with the American.

Addressing the press, Adriana Lima the picture of international super-model haughtiness, “Yes, she has two victories over me but no one, including her, thinks she is the better fighter. I will just say it - she is an awkward clod who can punch with the right hand - that is all she is! Her so called victories were gifted to her - I lost focus. I take responsibility for those past mistakes. They will not be repeated. Adrianne Palicki will receive a boxing lesson from me. The fight will not last 7 rounds. She will either fall or quit!”

Usually mild mannered Palicki seething. When asked if she had any response, she replies through clenched teeth, “No response - talk is cheap!”

Fight Night

Challenger Adriana Lima out first, graceful sensual glide to “The Girl From Ipanema”, rocking lime green bikini, white gloves and boots with green tassels. She is seconded by reigning welterweight champion Tahnee Atkinson, who just dropped a knockout loss on Palicki stablemate Lawley. Some ringsiders wondering if Lima is being used as a proxy by Odds & Ends Fighting Studio to drain Palicki - who is also a threat to the Atkinson belt.

Palicki entering to LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out!” in orange crocheted bikini with black gloves and boots. Palicki is seconded by Jenny McCarthy, braying in succession that Palicki is going to knock out Lima … then Atkinson … and then a startled looking Tess Valmore, watching ringside with Front Street contingent - an embarrassed Palicki mouths “Sorry” to Tess. Murmur in crowd that Scrubby McGee is not in the Sceej corner - official report is that the old man is “under the weather” - subsequently revealed that he is doing a ninety day sentence for beating up two cops and multiple others on St. Patrick’s Day.

Rounds 1-4: Wild back and forth action with Palciki taking the first and fourth and Lima taking the middle two. Contrast in styles evident. Palicki the big hitter, stalking, right hand cocked, probing with jab and working body with thudding left right when she can but Lima not obliging often. Brazilian is up on her toes, circling, this is a lot more sophisticated style than she’s shown at times. Lima spitting the jab and coaxing Palicki to chase with right hands, taunting the Chin Checker in English and Portuguese (which even if you can’t understand it is still frustrating!) Split of the first four rounds but ringside consensus is Lima has gotten the better so far.

Round 5: Lima on her toes, circling, dealing, jabbing, taunting - executing Odds & Ends game plan to near perfection. Note the modifier “near” perfection! Halfway through the round, foot slips in trying abrupt change of direction, while throwing a slapping hook. Stagger awkwardly for a moment and the American slams the right hand to the forehead and down goes the Brazilian … sits her down mid ring! It’s a flash knockdown and Lima scrambles to her feet at “3” - all indignant and outraged - insisting to referee it was a slip - then looks to prove it by engaging the blonde mid ring - and brutally rebuffed. Trade of punches goes Adrianne’s way - both landing but Model forced back by superior weight of shot.

Odds and Ends corner livid, scolding hot tempered Latina for failing to stick to the script. In Sceej corner, Jenny Mac exhorts Palciki to “throw more lefts … and more rights … and hooks … and uppercuts … and defense … defense too … and hurry up … knock this sl*t out already!”. Palciki, under her breath, murmurs “I need Mister McGee …”

Rounds 6-7: Back and forth again. Lima able to right the ship after knockdown in the fifth. Smooth boxing thwarting Chin Checker’s vaunted power, all loose limbed and snake necked, leaves Palicki punching air at times while Adriana lashed with the jab and occasionally surprises with sneaky right hand lead. Not punishing shots but gobbling up the points. Brazilian playing the sorceress into the seventh when the American unleashes thudding three punch combination to the body that has Lima desperate for the clinch and fighting referee efforts to break - McCarthy screaming blue murder from Sceej corner as chance to follow up is squandered but a good seventh round for Adrianne.

Round 8: Palicki with an odd sense of urgency in what seems like an even fight? Winging right hands and gets caught with a counter left hook. Blonde all wide eyed and knees wobble. Lima follows up with straight right and Palicki DOWN! Gets to one knee at five and when she tries to surge up at nine, she sprawls forward - winner by knockout in the 8th and NEW Jaguar champion - Adriana Lima!

Post fight: Lima with belt fastened, tells the crowd that the Jaguar champion SHOULD be from a country where there are actual jaguars!. Then mentions “unfinished business” - off to the Sceej corner to take daze Adrianne Palicki for the Walk of Shame! Jenny Mac all bluster, threatening to come up there and kick Lima’s ass but when Lima looks to step to … McCarthy running to locker room, “Where’s Lawley? Where’s Nolin!!!”