FCBA HISTORY

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MODEL MAYHEM AT THE ASYLUM IV: THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL

Posted by HBO's Boxing At The Asylum on 30 April 2024 at 5:47 pm

BEFORE:

"Stewart's good," Kendra admits. "But. She's not PHYSICAL. And, there's no more physical flyweight than ME."

"Kendra's a hitter, no doubt," says Kristen with a nod. "But. I've been in with plenty of hitters. And, they all end up the same way. On the LOSING end."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: " Back at ringside and the four-sided giant screen lowered over the arena, which means Asylum Beach, with plenty of patio heaters and fire pits functioning, is about to get some use. And, that's 'Just Like You' by Three Days Grace you hear, and across the sand comes blonde beauty Kendra Wilkinson!"

McCarthy: "That Pearl Harboring BYTCH is LUCKY she's across the street!"

O'Dell: "Kendra through the ropes and helped off with the robe to reveal a blue number that gets the crowd popping..."

McCarthy: "She's a CHEAP knockoff!"

O'Dell: "And, that's 'Helter Skelter' by the Beatles you hear hammering through the arena, and that can only mean that 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart is on her way across the beach!"

McCarthy: "Finally, a REAL fighter!"

Cassie: "Kristen trying to get another shot at that flyweight gold..."

Tess: "And, if she wants to stay in the mix, she needs to stay on track tonight."

O'Dell: "Stewart through the ropes and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. Crowd showing appreciation for K-Stew in that lime green number she likes. Ladies about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess likes Stewart. Mac?"

McCarthy: "REAL fighter vs. a CHEAP KNOCKOFF! K-Stew!"

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "And, we're underway. Wilkinson working forward, no surprise there, as Kendra's way forward in this one is going to be getting physical. She's not going to out box Kristen any time soon. Stewart working the left, using the feet..."

Tess: "Some fighters say the sand slows you down a little, giving the advantage to girls who want to stand and bang rather than move and create space."

Cassie: "Stewart, though, isn't a stick and move fighter, more of a platform fighter. Wouldn't affect her as much."

McCarthy: "What ARE you two babbling about?"

Cassie: "We are actually analyzing the FIGHT rather than playing music critic or threatening to call a deceased or mythical attorney to file a frivolous lawsuit."

Tess: "Truck, bring Mac a dictionary so that she can look up 'frivolous'..."

McCarthy: "You...I...SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU!"

O'Dell: "Drink up, boys, as the battle rages across the sand. Thirty seconds left in the opening frame, and it's been two-way stuff. Kristen scoring at range, Kendra scoring when she can pressure. Final ticks come off the clock and there's the bell. Close. Wilkinson."

Cassie: "And, Kendra grabs the 10-9 lead."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Same again, a battle for terms. Kristen wants to box, work the left, drop rights behind it. And, when she's getting the range to do so, she's very effective. Blonde wants to close and bang, and she's having some success getting past Stewart's jab and doing that..."

McCarthy: "K-Stew just wants to stay patient. She'll be fine."

O'Dell: "Brunette definitely staying sound. Not pressing anything. Wilkinson plowing up sand as she moves forward. Stewart kicking some up as she does some lateral movement looking to foul Kendra's angles and stay off square."

Cassie: "Pretty good two-way stuff."

O'Dell: "Sure is, just like we saw in the first. We're down under 20 seconds to go in this one. SHARP exchange and then another! Best punches of the fight so far traded there, with both blonde and brunette landing some good shot. There's the bell. Close. K-Stew."

Tess: "And, we're even at 19."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Pattern pretty well set in this one. Stewart working the left hand, looking to create space to get her box on. Blonde working to get past those defenses, get inside, get physical with the brunette. Both women having some success doing their respective things..."

McCarthy: "K-Stew is just waiting for the opening to take out this cheap knockoff!"

O'Dell: "Kendra inside, working a little body. K-Stew ties up, slips away, kicks up some sand before settling down behind the left. For the third round in a row, nobody really gaining any control here. Both fighters scoring in spots."

Tess: "Definitely going to be another close round."

O'Dell: "We're down under fifteen seconds to go. Stewart working the left, lands a nice right hand. Kendra steps to, works some tummy and there's the bell. Very, very close for the third time in a row. Wilkinson will get the points."

Cassie: "And move back into the lead 29-28."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Back to work in the fourth. Wilkinson pressing forward. Stewart giving a little ground now, moving laterally a bit more as well. She wants room to operate, room the blonde isn't willing to allow her. Kendra digging body again..."

Tess: "Definitely investing in some attrition here..."

O'Dell: "Stewart using a drop step, gives a little sand to her opponent and ROCKS HER WITH A RIGHT HAND! Oh, K-Stew walked Wilkinson into that and Kendra is STEPPIN' IN FENCE POST HOLES! Stewart a right hand and a LEFT HOOK AND DOWN GOES KENDRA!"

McCarthy: "YES! YES! YOU PEARL HARBORING BYTCH! YES!"

O'Dell: "K-Stew across the beach to a neutral corner. Kendra face down in the sand. Count at three. Four. Five. Wilkinson pushing to hands and knees at six. Seven. And SINKING BACK TO THE SAND AT EIGHT. Nine! TEN! It's OVER! And your winner by KO4 is 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart!"

Cassie: "What a left hook. What a shot!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go across the street to Cassie Scerbo!"

Cassie: "I have our winner, Kristen Stewart, and, Kris, you left no doubt in the fourth..."

Kristen (smiling): "She kept coming forward on me. Girls like to do that, because they can't out box me. But, I knew I'd eventually catch her walking in, and that's exactly what I did."

Cassie: "What's next? You seem to like the beach..."

Kristen: "I'm OK with beach fights or getting back in the ring for flyweight stuff. Whatever you guys are thinking. I'm game."