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31 May 2024 Charlize Theron vs Milla Jovovich

Page history last edited by neon 1 week, 2 days ago

OFFICIAL FCBA "MAYHEM" PPV

Posted by Lookout! Boxing on 31 May 2024 at 10:24 pm

Milla Jovovich vs Charlize Theron

Results, Lookout: Story Tractorpull

Tale of the Tape

Milla Jovovich

Age 45

Height 5’8 1/4”

10/18/-1

Charlize Theron

Age 48

Height 5’9-1/2”

349-130-16

2 Universal Featherweight Titles 1999

1 MTV 116 lbs Title 1999

1 Playboy Title 1999

1 Nike 122 lbs Title 1999

1 Studio Lightweight Title 1999. 1999 titles not recognizes as official

8 Unified lightweight Titles

7 Unified Welterweight Titles

1 Unified Middleweight Title

3 Maxim Lightweight Titles

2 Paramount Lightweight Titles

1 Reebox Lightweight Title

2 Reebox Welterweight Titles

2 Paramount Welterweight Titles

Mistress of the Body Saddle 1/21/08-1/11/15

Original Member of the Hall Of Fame

Recognized as the Greatest Of All Time

BEFORE

Milla and Charlize are side by side at the Podium

Milla “Charlize and I are friends. We don’t hang, but when we meet at events we always have nice conversations I’m going to do most of the talking because Charlize is always afraid she will say something wrong, which she usually does. This is a special night for her and it is also for the best of five. I plan on spoiling it for her on both counts. We broke into the movies about the same time”

Charlize: “You wore as little as possible. As I recall, it was just tape across the vital parts”

Milla. “ Well you played a sl*t which wasn’t difficult for you Anyway we had our first fight was in March of 2006. When I entered the ring I was wearing 14oz gloves and she was wearing six. When the bout began I hit her hard. Nothing happened. I was wearing pillows. I stood there wondering how this happened and she hit me with everything she had, which is a awful lot, and I lost by a KO1”

Charlize: The day before our second fight Milla sent me a chocolate bar as a good will measure. I ate it. It turned out to be
exlax and I was up all night”

Milla: I took the fight to her and the referee stopped the fight before I ruined her looks which are not great to begin with. We were even.

In the third fight, I learned she was dating the referee. Every time I hit her he threatened to disqualify me. She knocked me out. By time our fourth fight happened, I was used to her tricks. In the seventh round I hit her so hard that when she hit the canvas, people in San Fransisco ran screaming from their houses thinking it was an earthquake Chalize I’m really sorry , but I am going to have to do the same thing tonight”

Charlize” I wouldn’t bet on it. You don’t fight as well as you talk”

THE FIGHT

The two meet in the center of the ring for instructions that Charlize has heard 491 times. Milla is wearing an orange bikini with black gloves and boots, her hair shoulder length. Charlize is In her usual red bikini with red gloves and boots. Her hair in a ponytail

Milla “How long you been wearing that bikini”

Charlize “I don’t really know”

Milla “Well it’s a dull red now. You need a new one”

Charlize “this is fine”

Milla: I hear you are down to your last 190 million. I’m going to start a “Go Fund Me, to buy you a new bikini, As popular as you are, it should only take about five years to get you enough for a new one’

The referee starts with the instructions but Milla interrupts: Don’t bother, she isn’t going to follow them. You aren’t dating her are you?

The referee just scowls at her sends them to their corner.

Round 1. As usual they meet in the center of the ring and Charlize lands a right jab to Milla’s face. Milla shakes it off and says “Now that you got that done, try this”, and she punches the right side of Charlize head and then a left. Charlize pounds a right into Milla forehead as Milla drills a right and left to Charlize’s midsection. Charlize starts to throw a right cross, but a hard right to her midsection stops her. A Jovovich uppercut sends her to the ropes. As Milla moves in, she take a right cross to her head but delivers another right uppercut, then drops to the body using it as Charlize as a body bag. Charlize finally lands a right cross, but can’t follow up as the bell rings. Milla asks Charlize “Need help getting to your corner?’ In her corner, Kate tells Charlize “she is making you look a like an amateur. Get out there and turn this around. If I have to tell you how to do it, I’m talking to a has-been”

Round 2. Milla is out of her corner meeting Charlize not far from her corner. They exchange right crosses. Charlize overhand right slides by Milla’s head and she is back pounding away at Theron’s body. Right and left to the midsection, right to the solar plexus, left to bra. Charlize is leaning back into the ropes. She’s giving up her body with her arms up protecting her head. She hears Upton yell “get off the ropes, stop taking it, start punching” Charlize lurches off the ropes pushing Milla back, Charlize connects with a left to Milla’s head. The two go after each other.

After thirty seconds. Milla is dominating, out punching Charlize two the one. Once again, she is using Charlize as a punching bag. The bell rings and it’s a glassy eyed Theron who drops down on her stool. Kate comments, What’s going on? You’re better than her. Keep her away from your body this round”

Round 3. Charlize’s corner has done it’s job. She is moving like it’s the beginning of the fight. Her movement is a little disappointing for Milla. She takes a deep breath and wades back in. She meets Theron close to the center of the ring. Milla starts with a right cross and takes one in return, Milla is right back with another right. Charlize takes it and catches Milla with a left uppercut. Charlize steps in with a right hook and left cross. Jovovich is right back as the toe toe to toe. Milla staggers Charlize with a right hook, but Charlize quickly recovers and is right back at Milla with a hook and then goes to her body for the first time in the fight, Milla misses with a right-left and Charlize stays with the body, punching away at the midsection. Milla finally manages a hard right to the right side of Charlize’s head sending the blonde back a couple steps as the round ends.

As she returns her corner Milla says to Charlize “You did better. You’re making the fight interesting, not that is going to win”. Kate tells Theron “Don’t listen to her. That was much better. We’re going to win this one,

Round 4. Charlize knows she is still behind on the cards. She’s going to change that. She is a little faster then Milla now and she is going to take the fight to her. She catches Milla not far from her corner. A overhand right and left punches Milla’s head back and then Charlize digs into her stomach and a right straightens her up. Milla steps back with Charlize with her. A right sends her to the ropes. Milla has her guard up protecting her head but Charlize is a punching machine hitting the protecting gloves and then the body and back up trying to get to the head. Milla is doing a good job protecting her head, but the body is taking a beating. It was all Theron for the three minute round, In her corner, Kate says she did a good job, but didn’t finish her Kate is worried Charlize could have punched herself out”

Round 5. Milla is well aware that Charlize threw a lot of punches in the last round, but she survived and is going to turn the bout around again. She meets Charlize and before Theron can start her KO attack, she punches Charlize in the face. Charlize stops in her tracks and another overhand right crashes into her face. A slight stream of blood is leaking from the blondes nose, Fortunately, the next over hand right hit her gloves which she managed to raise, Jovovich moves down to Theron’s body while Theron targets Milla’s now unprotected head, The crowd is cheering, The TV announcers debate who is getting the best it Just as the round end Milla stuns the blonde with an uppercut. Charlize staggers back to her corner as Milla is also slow. In her corner, Charlize is greeted by her well known Nascar team who starts working their miracles. As Charlize stands up, Kate says “Well the corner did it’s job now go out there and do yours”

Round 6. Milla is amazed as she sees how Theron comes out of her corner. She sees Theron’s eyes focused. Her movements normal, maybe a little faster than expected, Milla meets the blonde and her power right miss the chin by inches. That miss may have decided the fight. Charlize sinks a right into Milla’s stomach and the straightens her up with a left uppercut. Charlize drives Milla to the ropes and drops her with another right uppercut. Milla is down on her side. She manages to roll over and reach out to a rope in hopes of pulling herself up but can’t. She is counted out

As the referee’s count reaches ten Kate grabs Charlize by the waist and lifts her up. Cassandra Lynn punches a button and Charlize’s anthem, “Blood” by the Dropkick Murphys fills the arena and Tess walks around the ring with a sign that simply says 350. Milla is on her feet and she walks over to Charlize and gives her a hug and says “Why did it have to be me but I guess I’m more famous now”. Kate tells Milla “It’s party time in the dressing room. Champagne is being opened. Please join us. You’re one of Charlize’s friends and we couldn’t have done it without you. Milla responds “I think there is a compliment somewhere there”