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30 June 2024 Lady Gaga vs Kristen Stewart

Page history last edited by neon 1 week, 2 days ago

MODEL MAYHEM AT THE ASYLUM VI

Posted by HBO's Boxing At The Asylum on 30 June 2024 at 2:54 pm

BEFORE:

"I know," says Gaga with a lovely smile, "That no one expects me to win. But, there's one thing you should know about Lady Gaga...expect the unexpected."

"She's experienced and she's smart," says Kristen with a nod. "But, she's not getting a result tonight."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Edge of Glory' and here comes the singer of that song, being carried to the ring by six well-muscled bearers, Lady Gaga!"

McCarthy: "This is RIDICULOUS! Walk to the ring like a normal person!"

O'Dell: "Gaga lowered to the ground outside the ring, climbs between the ropes and is helped off with the robe to reveal a leopard print bikini that has the crowd's attention. And, that's 'Helter Skelter' by the Fab Four you hear behind us, and here comes the FCBA's biggest Beatles fan, 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart!"

McCarthy: "Finally! A REAL fighter!"

Tess: "Stewart, like Bennet, looking to regain the lineal gold and become the first Front Street fighter ever to do that."

Cassie: "And, to stay in the mix, she needs a win tonight."

O'Dell: "Kristen tapping glove to fist with Mac on the way by the table, climbs into the ring and is helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal that lime green number she likes. Ladies about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess likes K-Stew. Mac?"

McCarthy: "REAL fighter. Stewart!"

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "Unanimous in the second. Stewart working at range right away with that long, accurate left. Gaga showing a new wrinkle here. She's working out of a half-crouch, gloves high, picking off that jab, stepping inside it and going body..."

Tess: "Gaga not really a body puncher."

O'Dell: "Not known as such, but the idea here might be to get in punching range and get work done, since she's giving up a bunch of reach. Stewart moving the feet, jabbing, putting punches together in spots. Both fighters getting work done..."

McCarthy: "K-Stew just feeling this bimbo out."

O'Dell: "Down to fifteen seconds in the first. Been a close one so far with both blonde and brunette scoring. NICE combination from K-Stew there and there's the bell. Not a lot in it, but Stewart's going to get the points in the first."

Cassie: "And take the 10-9 lead."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second begins the way the first ended. Ladies working for terms here. Stewart wants to be on the outside where she can box and use that length. Gaga wants to get inside Kristen's defenses, where she's in range to get off..."

McCarthy: "Got to admit, that half-crouch is working some."

O'Dell: "It is. Gaga can block the jab and slip inside it at times, and, when she does, she's getting off and in combination, too. Still banging a little body, but it's more upstairs work this frame. Kristen not hurt, but she's being forced back on occasion..."

Cassie: "Got to wonder if Gaga's going to take some risk at some point and step to."

O'Dell: "Hasn't so far, but we're only a couple of rounds in. Coming down the stretch now in the second. It's been very close once again. Good right hand by Stewart but Lady G responds with a nice combination at the bell. Gaga by a cat's whisker."

Tess: "And, we're even at 19."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third underway, and we're right back where we've been the entire fight, Stewart jabbing at range, trying to enforce distance with that jab, while Gaga works forward in that half crouch, gloves held high, looking to step inside the left and get to work..."

McCarthy: "Sooner or later, K-Stew is gonna get her."

O'Dell: "So far, some good shot exchanged, but nobody's been hurt and everybody's scoring well and also playing solid defense. Stewart giving a little ground in spots here, moving the feet. Gaga working in, staying at middle distances..."

Tess: "Good strategy by Gaga, at least to this point..."

O'Dell: "Certainly has been. We've got ten seconds remaining in a busy third round, and, once again, almost nothing in it. NICE exchange there, with both blonde and brunette landing solid rights, and there's the bell. Close. Gaga."

Cassie: "And Lady G leads 29-28 after three."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth starts on the same terms we've seen throughout. Both fighters determined to get what they want, and, while both have managed to do some of that, they haven't done enough of that and the result has been a very even fight..."

Tess: "And, that doesn't look to be changing..."

O'Dell: "Gaga steps in, lands a solid combination and IS ROCKED BY A RIGHT HAND! Stewart with a NASTY straight right and Lady G is GOBSMACKED! K-Stew all in now, firing away with both hands and DOWN GOES GAGA!"

Cassie: "Right hook!"

O'Dell: "It was, indeed, and the blonde is down on her right side! Kristen quickly to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. No movement at all from Gaga. Six. Seven. This is academic. Eight. Nine. TEN! It's OVER! And your winner by KO4 is 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart!"

McCarthy: "TOLD you! Just a matter of time!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Cassie Scerbo!"

Cassie: "I have our winner, Kristen Stewart, and, K-Stew, she gave you some trouble early..."

Kristen (nodding): "Yeah. Took me a minute to work out how to deal with that crouch, find her with the left. It was a good fight plan. But, it was never going to work."

Cassie: "So, another win for you. What's next?"

Kristen: "I hope a shot to get the title back, but, we'll see."