Posted by Archer on Friday, 08-Sep-00 22:45:21

Before: Glaring mismatch on paper—Garth protesting her 20-1 underdog status, pointing to her experience and solid physique as reasons why she’ll be competitive. Hu barely civil in pre-fight, constantly calling out Lucy Liu at every opportunity and treating Garth as a glorified sparring partner. Hu in black sports bra, red aerobics bottoms, ponytail, Jenny, in white sports bra, pale blue adidas terrycloth trunks, ponytail.

During R1: Jennie charging in—Hu fading to the ropes ala Roy Jones, guard high, letting the blonde throw to the body. Garth heaving it in, helping herself to dusky torso and taut belly with clubbing two fisted barrages. Hu content to say into the ropes, turn her torso, but midway through the round, it’s apparent she can’t get out of there and she starts to clinch,. Garth fighting through the outstretched arms, keeps her head on Jennie’s chest, keeps pumping wide lefts and rights to the body and HU IS HURT! Kelly’s legs trembling as she leans forward, butt on the ropes, face grimacing, giving up the body as Garth reaches in to either side with smashing lefts and rights. DOWN GIESZ HU! Kelly takes a knee in evident discomfort, rises at the bell as Jennie bounces back to her corner.

R2: Kelly Hu smoldering, eyes flat with hate and she dazzles Garth to open the round with 6 hook combination to cuff the blonde sideways to the ropes. Hu opening up with both hands, slashing in and out as Jennie reels to the corners, simply unable to respond to the firestorm. Shutout Hu as she lets her fists play across the blonde’s head, shoulders and stomach virtually unopposed.

R3: Revenge of Hu continues—blinding handspeed embarrasses Garth, forcing her to keep a tight guard at her head—Hu mounting punching passes, getting off then swooping past as Kelly covers up. Jennie blocking a lot of leather, and answering cautious jabs ort straight right hands to the chest—but Hu calling all the shots.

R4: Hit and run continues—Hu slashing in and past her girl, turning Garth as the blonde tries to stay square to the target. Jennie now able to avoid getting hurt, but she just can’t mount any offense. Meanwhile, Hu content to remain untouchable, doing enough to win the rounds, but not trying to break Jennie down—Garth fully recovered from being staggered in the second.

R5: Effortless dominance begins to draw scattered boos from the crowd, Kelly sweeping in, poking sudden lead rights or shoeshining one-twos, but she has no intention of letting Garth get set to punch. Jennie just trying to touch hu with the jab, keeping her composure, staying in the pocket.

R6: Shutout Kelly Hu as she starts to score with a quick right uppercut between the mitts, putting the left hook on top to get some head movement in Garth, Jennie still coming forward, stabbing her punches out from the shoulder, but clearly preoccupied with getting her hands back to defend. Hu taunting at the bell as Garth turns away without taking the bait.

R7: Jennie with her hands high, chops lefts and rights out from the elbow to touch Hu’s face repeatedly—Kelly stepping back, trying to lean away but Garth constantly able to tap her fists onto the Asian’s face, keeping her off balance. Hu stopping to pivot as Jennie cranks a savage hook—Hu takes it on the chin before her feet get set and she is HURT! Kelly dazed, hands at her hips, staggers away with a pleading look in her eyes as Jennie steps in, hammering right hands over the top to the side of the brunette’s head. Kelly driven by the rain to the ropes, eyes glazing over and THE REF JUMPS IN! Jennie Garth TKO7 in the Upset of the Year!

After: Chaos in the ring as Garth body surfs into handler’s arms while Hu cradled on the ropes by ref stares drowsily into the crows. Heartbreaking collapse for Kelly leaves her absolutely distraught in the aftermath—Garth launched into the limelight with the huge win, happy to tell Letterman, Jay and the rest all about how she slew the dragon, Hu had affairs well in hand, but Garth’s veteran poise kept her in the game—give her credit for being in position at least to land a lucky punch in the first place.

Reposted by Archer 1/27/10.