BOXING AFTER DARK JMD

MAIN EVENT

Posted by Simguy on 4/1/2007, 9:56 am.

Before: Every press conference a shrieking brawl as li’l jigglers go straight for one another’s hair, tumbles into tables and scatter the first few rows of media reps—plenty of hard feelings here as an anonymous  Krusher inside source reveals to BLONDE! Magazine: “Jess and Christina used to co-exist peacefully,” claims the gossip, “because it was understood that Chrissy was the art-house actress and Jessica was the bombshell. Ricci had the chops to act opposite Theron in ‘Monster’: Jessica had the charisma to own that ‘Duke of Hazzard’ part—and there was no overlap. Now—Ricci goes and does ‘Black Snake Moan’ and it’s a TITAL slap in the face to Jessica. Ricci’s gone blonde. Ricci wears Daisy Dukes. Ricci SINGS for God’s sake. I was with Jessica at the screening, and she left in tears—and if you know Jess, that usually means somebody[s gonna get their as kicked!” Jessica in pink Dukes bikini, white gloves. Ricci in purple push up, white cotton undies, white gloves. During touch’em up—Chrissy punches her left hand into Jessica’s unprotected left breast: instant shrieking brawl as girls tumble to canvas in wriggling embrace. Long delay as officials slowly impose order.

During R1: Blazing eyes, heaving chests, bared teeth—buxom blondes rush together, swinging away crazy-reckless. Bumper car action as girl slug themselves off balance—coming together, careening apart. Ricci the first to compose herself and start aiming some shots: she’s diving in a straight, jamming right hand lead—holding her left low as she leans into Jessica’s breasts. Simpson bumped off-stride, absorbing several hard knocks—she’s driven ropeside to a burst of crowd applause as she hits strands. Ri8cci on the pounce: right hand banks off Jessica’s forehead; stuffing hook takes her west of the belly button—then Ricci crowds in head-and-gloves to push in. Stuffing, jamming work here—Ricci smothering Jess, cramming leather to bulging Krusher jug and tummy. Chrissy able to push Jessica’s head off to Simpsy’s right, then tuck a mitt in behind the left elbow: Jessica loosening, soaking—she’s eventually pushed sideways to ropes, giving up her back/left side to Ricci. POURING SHEETS OF RICCI LEATHER!! Chris baring her teeth, feet wide, jugs a-sloshing as she jams away, crook-armed, pumping rights and lefts, battering at Jessica’s left side, back, buttocks, tummy. Simpson squealing as she cowwrs, covering up her head—taking a torrid buffeting to the bell…AND BEYOND! Ricci slammin’ away buxom after the break—forcing ref of take a firm hand.

R2: Midring, Ricci punching lefts and rights criss cross to Jessica’s face, beating Simpsy to the blows. Simpson staggering back under face-spank—hits ropes—takes a MURDEROUS right hand on her chin as crowd roars to its feet. Jess loosened up, tilting out over her feet, then SLUGGING BACK! Both girls landing disastrous left/right tic-toc punches upside the head—Ricci stamping back wide-eyed on her heels. Simpsy bares teeth, stumbles forward—pushing her knuckles against Ricci. Then punching her in a constant forward tumble. Ricci driven length of the ring—hits far ropes to a roar of approval: SHE stiffens, pumps away chugging lefts and rights to Jessica’s pink trunks and trembling tummy to buckle Krusher blonde forward. Simpsy shaken, but answering: SHE jams away with exhausted, pumping lefts and rights to Ricci’s thighs and trunks—ref FINALLY pulls tear-stained vixens apart, reads both the riot act and gives them a good shake via upper-arm grips on either. Resume—Simpsy riding her raised guard into Ricci’s and smearing tired Chrissy sideways to ropes: Ricci just covering up face-in gloves, shouting in pain as Jessica beats at back and tummy with mindless abandon.

R3: Pace slowing, both vixens mouth-breathing—torrid pace taking it’s toll. Midring—girlish pawing jabs sees the left hands meet and bat together—vixens standing upright, chests out, right hands at shoulder while they position. Sloshing right hands follow—as one throws hard, the other twists and leans away, then comes back to try the right hand in turn. Splashy single shots landing to opposing breasts—when one girl scores, she brightens, shouts HAH!—the other frowns, rallying herself to get the punch back. Petulant stalemate broken up when Ricci lands a right hand fat and hard upside Jessi’s head: Simpsy reeling away, covering her head turtle-style. Simpson hounded to ropes; Ricci salts away the round with a vigorous pounding of her foe’s left side and buttocks as poor Simpsy gives up her back again at the bell. During break—Janet Jones wiping tears from Jessi’s face, being supportive but firm: “You face into her Jess, you hear me? No more turning away. You punch with her and you back her down—you can DO this!”

R4: Ricci bright, fierce—up off her stool with an aggressive batting of gloves and a stomping of confident feet. Jessi with dukes up high, but Ricci leans in, pours a right hand in between Krusher mitts, pounding Jess on her face and jerking her to her right. Simpsy crying out, stamping in fence post holes whole covering up her head—Ricci able to stampede Jess to ropes and beat the ever-lovin’ TAR out of Jess Simpson! Simpsy smeared side to side as Ricci pushes in, then Chrissy crowds close, chugging away with furious lefts and rights, taking Jess in her tummy and back, Simpsy blubbering, falling part under the constant buffeting and smudging—Ricci just stamping in the spot, pushing and punching for all she’s worth, Nothing coming back from Simpsy—she’s crying, exhausted—getting badly ragdolled here, From the midway point it’s all Ricci: when she’s not smearing jess sideways to belt at her, she’s riding a forearm across the back of Simpsy’s neck, belting the free mitt hard to Jessi’s flank and kidney. Final minute—only Simpsy’s curvy legs holding her up: Ricci pushes Jess square and RAMS AWAY TO RACK! Jessica sobbing out in shock as Ricci’s hip-hupping assault bunches up the proudest jugs in Hollywood. Jessi bleating—eyes shut tight—punch-impact bumping her upright against ropes and THE REF STEPS IN! Ricci hammers jugg en route to TKO$.

After: Ricci beaming, shouting “MY JUGGS STOOPPED HER JUGGS!”—pointedly appropriating Jessica’s line as well as her career. Simpsy hugging herself in her corner, still crying when Ricci pushes her way in past Krusher attendents to pull Simpsy out of her corner. Chrissy’s eyes alight as she reaches in under Jessica’s arms, gently pulling them up and out to either side: Ricci quick as a bunny, lefts her right thigh, pulling her knee across to the left to push the meat of her quad deep to Jessica’s trembling brown tummy. Simpsy gasping out, hugging her guts, tipping forward in shock: perfect positioning for the snug wrap-up of Ricci’s front choke. Chrissy with hard-working grun, riding her left arm strong behind Jessi’s neck, left hand gripping Ricci’s foirm right bicep; right hand cupping atop Jessica’s head to clutch a fistful of damp, soft blonde hair, Jessica’s face pulled in snug: Ricci stamping slightly for balance, just managing Jessi’s weight. Chrissy beaming, resting her left cheek against Jessica’s scalp, just letting her jugs get the work done. Simpsy’s hands on Chrissy’s hips, clutching tight handfuls of Ricci’s bottoms in bitter resignations.

Jessica rendered groggy eventually—Ricci releases—lifting her arms and strutting away as poor Jess wilts to all fours, Jess all bedraggled, used up—pretty face shiny and damp under hot white lights. Ricci circling, basking in crowd adoration, then without looking down, she reaches her right fist into Jessica’s tangled locks, casually pulling Jessi forward, then slowly up, Simpsy reeling drowsy—Ricci reaches in under the arms, push’em up and out, lifts the right thigh up into shuddering paunch: Jess shouts OH! stoops forward hurt, and gives it up all over again. Ricci on Simpsy again and again—Chrissy putting juuuust enough jug to Jess to render her senseless, then slowly, patiently hauling her up for more. On and on—finally, officials scramble to pull Simpson away from her tormentress, Jess bewildered, smother-drunk, hair in eyes, across her face as Ricci’s crowing, blowing kisses and waving “Bye bye, J! Bye bye!”

Reposted by Archer 2/21/10.