Posted by Simguy on 1/20/2004, 6:01 pm.

Before: BSE doing a pretty good job of protecting Britney from drooling media types who want to harangue her about the aborted Vegas marriage, but they can’t stop Kelly from getting her licks in at the podium. “I had some respect for Britney as an up and comer with some potential—not any more, She’s the dumbest woman in the FCBA, and worse, she’s a cliché—a spoiled rotten little twit who can’t handle LIFE, let along Kelly Hu in the ring. After I’m done with her, maybe Spears can get a show with Paris Hilton—that’s the kind of  blonde I associate her with now. I will definitely be taking out the trash in this fight—that’s a promise.” Britney seething in her chair, basically no-commenting on anything to do with her personal life at the moment, but Hu’s scathing indictment scores big time psyche points in prefight. Kelly in black leather bra style bikini, slick low ponytail, dark sunglasses during ring instructions—Britney in tawdry lime green lace push up and panties.

During R1: Cagey first minute—Britney weight on back foot, left and low, right hand at her chest, leaning away, giving Kelly a slight variation on Hu’s own cobra-style defense. Hu up on her toes, jabbing brisk, in feathery bunches at spears’ shoulder and skull, dancing to her left, looking to shoot that screened right hand in on the hip. Britney not punching back, but supple, poised—occasionally getting low, using her shoulder against Hu’s midsection to ease her back out as Kelly bounces forward—cat and mouse type stuff, Midway through—flurry: Kelly slicing combinations upstairs—Britney weaving, dragging a thick right hand to the pit of Kelly’s paunch, trading biting hooks with Kel up top and HU’S PUT WOBBLY BUTT! Kelly accordion-legged, reeling back a step, eyes awash with hurt—Britney POUNCES! Spears stepping forward, drifting Kelly’s face slinging rights and lefts as she advances, bashing Hu’s head side to side as Asian girl topples backwards. Hu belted all the way across the ring under the walking barrage of Spears and HU GOES DOWN!! Kelly flattened on her back at the far ropes—Spears taking the opportunity to trample her nubile foe and it’s OVER! Hu starfished out. Mouth agape, eyes shut tight—she can’t shake it off and she can’t get off her back—STUNNING KO1 Britney Spears!

After: Historically, it’s been a mistake to push Britney’s personal buttons—Kelly ignored the track record, paid dearly as Spears unleashes an uncharacteristic ballistic assault to chin. Hu coming around, distraught, disbelieving and BRITNEY HELPS HERSELF! Spears shaking off her manager, storms to Hu’s corner, taking that firm little waist in the crook of her right arms and parading a devastated Kelly Hu for a scalding walk of shame. Spears gets the 360 in, then packs Hu chest first to a corner, propping the Amazin’ Asian’s left thigh in the middle strand, crowding in from the back and pouring a torrent of vindictive abuse into weepy Kelly’s ear. Spears stops short of  pounding those vulnerable kidneys, but she leaves no doubt that she COULD take what she wants—she leaves Hu, but not before dismantling het tidy ponytail and using both hands to create a bedraggled mess where there had been ordered beauty. Kelly’s left disheveled, blubbery and all hung up—Spears stomping angry-bottom out of the ting, snarling at all comers.

Reposted by Archer 3/15