UNIFIED BANTAMWEIGHT TITLE

Posted by Simguy on 1/20/2004, 6:06 pm.

Before: Ripa surging on the strength of recent performances—she lays it out in prefight. “I was watching Danes/Dushku and about midway through, I called the Big Man and said ‘get me Dushku—it’s time’. Against scrawny Claire Danes, I saw an Eliza who could see openings but couldn’t pull the trigger, a girl with tentative instincts and shot reflexes. Eliza’s been on top for a long time, fighting the best comp there is, and she’s looking worn out. I’m going to give Eliza the beating of a lifetime—really shake things up around here.” Dushku uncharacteristically rattled  by the smack. “I’m getting a little tired of everyone talking about how tiny little Claire stepped up and gave me hell,” snarls the cha,p. “She gave a good account of herself, very steady, but I WON the damn contest! Even Claire has to admit she was lucky to finish our fight, and she’s a hell of a lot slicker than Kelly ‘Here’s my chin’ Ripa. You think you saw something in that fight? That’s your prerogative, but you might want to get your eyes checked, you tired, old wretched whore.” Cue security. Eliza in red leather bikini, K-Rip in black push up and panties, white lace trim.

During R1: A VERY aggressive Kelly Ripa takes midring, starts tucking into Eliza’s midsection like it’s choice prime ribs at the Ewing barbecue. Dushku starts put compact, looking to sit in the pocket, but Kelly’s going at her too hard—Eliza folded forward, covered up, shipping it thick in her tummy as Ripa HEAVES home blockbuster right hands, Eliza doesn’t like, starts to bail along the perimeter—Kelly staying on her, raking her hooks to gather her up, then forcing more brutal body punches—thumping lefts and rights—in on a beleaguered champ, Dushku leans in to reach under Kelly’s arms, tie her up—Ripa won’t have it, bodying Eliza into the ropes, breaking the clinch with a rough elbow across the neck, then digging in downstairs with pumping gusto, Down the stretch—Dushku finally gets Kelly’s attention with some hacking, tidy right hands just in above the left hip—Ripa wincing, backing off at the bell as beauties circle.

R2: Eliza keeps at it. Spreads Kel out the jab a bit, then darts in with that chopping right in the side, ducking and stepping back out, Ripa getting managed—Eliza working in and out, moving her head, pre-empting the blonde, making her miss. End of minute one, Eliza with a thumping series of shots: right hand tucked HARD above Ripa’s hip; digging left hook in the waist, little dip ‘n pivot to the right; HARD right hand on the ear as Kelly’s slow to adjust, another chopping right on the ear; back in the gut with that thudding hook—KELLY’S PUT WOBBLY BUTT! Ripa stepping back legs a-trembling, ashen-faced—she’s sucking it up, hurt in her body—Eliza’s on the stalk. Dushku pounding a meanspirited jab off Ripa’s face, negotiating her to ropes, then dipping in close, carrying the right hand HARD amidships, back with the hook, dropping her right foot back, straightening and turning to clang a short left hook off ripa’s chin, Kelly swooning, trying to punch back, but Eliza’s not there, edging out of range, or slipping under blows, tearing up great chunks of Ripa rib and tummy meat. Final minute, another murderous series of digging blows: right hand above the hip; left hook on the opposite flank; little left shoulder stumbles back and KELLY GOES DOWN! Ripa scooting to her backside, all forlorn—she beats the count woozy and ON COMES ELIZA! Dushku pounding up the middle straight right hands, clawing the left hook to ear and bringing it back in such a way as to drag down Kelly’s guard. Poor Ripa taking a Gatling Gun volley on the ropes—head pounded back, legs rooted in stupor to the spot—it’s a heinous, hard core beating and RIPA GIES OUT! Kelly’s head lolling, torso leaning—she’s out on her feet—ref jumps in—stunning TKO2 Eliza Dushku.

After: Snarling Dushku stomping it up to the aftermath—shouting at individual reporters ringside whom she knows for a FACT had picked Ripa—pretty demonstrative stuff from a still-dominant champ. Eliza letting Kelly feel the weight, hauls her up for a walk of shame, nuzzling in close to her left ear and taunting Kelly: “Gee, I think I saw the openings—what do you think? I pulled the trigger pretty fast, I mean, I thought it was fast—did you think it was fast? How’s your little tummy (pinching a fold of belly)—everything OK down there?” On and on, Sub 120 a veritable HISC fortress at this point—Eliza and Claire ruling like a couple of satraps, extracting tribute and taxes from a groaning, resentful populace.

Reposted by Archer 3/15/10.