“BATTLING JENNIES”

Posted by Simguy on 1/25/2008, 7:01 am.

Before: Mac getting in Aniston’s face, chesting into her during photoshoots; crowding in until Jenny A pushes back—total intimidation ply, 24/7. “If McCarthy thin ks I’ll punk, she’s stupider than she looks,” Aniston says on the bullying. “I don’t care what anybody else says: I can handle myself. I know what to do in this fight, and I’m going to do iot—you’re going to see a bully get bullied BIG TIME!” McCarthy chortling at the notion of Aniston pushing back in the ring. “Baby, I can hear your teeth chattering from over her,” Mac quips at the podium. “It’s still not too late to get out this. I’m fans’ll be disappointed, but even they would understand! What’s about to happen to you, even I wouldn’t wish on you! KO1 BABY! KO1! Mac in gunmetal blue bikini with boy leg; small white gloves. Aniston in teal/aqua striped bikini; small white gloves; hair in scruffy beach bun with strands framing face.

During R1: Mac throws a hook so hard, she turns almost 180 degrees with it—crowd oohing and aahing as Aniston slips and scampers round behind. Mac circling back to target, scooting-to, ranging in with pinging lead rights, lands a torquing hook in Jens shoulder—Aniston covering up, backing into ropes. Big grin, Jenny Mac: she ranges in beghind her jab as Aniston holds fists tight at eyebrows. Mac methodical fixing Aniston;s position with a jab in her guard, then getting after her body: muscular right hands swing in palm-down, parking flat-0knuckle under Aniston’s left elbow; digging hooks off tapping jabs up top—Jmac burying the latter in under Aniston’s right elbow; cross-cross flurries to breasts beating past the Aniston guard. Jenny A getting shelled—sliding along the ropes to her right, bending at the waist forward and back, Aniston sponging body shots, then putting Mac into clinches—McCarthy shouting in derision: “Is this you standing up to me? Huh? Is it? Lemme go—let’s FIGHT!”

R2: Mac pressing Aniston all around the ring—big smile on aggressive Playmate’s face. Aniston cagey—feinting Jenny a bit, fading back from her; good sturdy high guard in place when Anistonb sets up at ropes. Mac diligent—right hand at her chest, left hand loose, tracing ovals in the air as she flicks out jabs or slaps wide hooks to Aniston’s ear. McCarthy busting Aniston to rack in spots—doubling up hooks to jug, rolling that left shoulder sexy through the motion, Healthy spanking impacts sounding out—Aniston sliding away with frown, jugs pinking up nicely.

R3: Mac big and brazen, grinning as she scoots in, hands waist high. Aniston scowling, picking up her feet—she’s trying to hop a circle around McCarthy, trying to move Jmac’s feet. Both girls showing under-rated footwork—Aniston in evasion, Mac cutting off the ring—wide-ranging first minute sees McCarthy slowly bring guns to bear. Second minute—McCarthy getting off again—pounding Jenny A about her hips and breadbasket—every once in a while getting into jug with cruel fish-hook uppercuts, then shoving whimpering Aniston off. Final minute, McCarthy stalking Aniston along the ropes big-girl—ringing wide blows at Ani’s head to break down that rigid high-guard.  Aniston standing in the pocket, blocks a right, drops a short right from her eyebrow to McCarthy’s mouth, brings the fist back to eyebrow and bobs her head. McCarthy sets her feet wide, wailing a pair of batting right hands off Aniston’s ribcage: Ani drops a chopping little left off her eyebrow onto McCarthy’s face—then a chopping little right—reforms the guard and rolls her torso, Back and forth thus: Aniston absorbing punishment behind prepared defences, playing peek-a-boo and scoring in McCarthy’s face to the bell.

R4: McCarthy charges the mound—runs into a brace of Aniston jabs as Jenny pokes-and-fades well in retreat, Aniston keeping her dukes eyebrows high, bobbing her head after punching:  she’s absorbing spank to the body, but she’s doing a good job protecting her skull from McCarthy’s fury, Jmac baring her teeth, eyes narrowed as she loads up and unleashes: Aniston bobbing her head inside and underneath the natural arc of McCarthy’s bombing runs. Nipping counters back from Aniston—nothing too adventurous—but she’s scoring opportunistic chop-shots, chipping away on McCarthy’s face. Third minute—Aniston bobbing out over her front (left) foot—she makes McCarthy miss a pair of sweeping head shots, then answers a DIGGING hook firm and low! Mac barking in pain at the groin-shot, cramping up: seething Aniston embraces, spins Jmac to ropes and STARTS PASTING! McCarthy belted a brace of lefts and rights—she leans back woozy, disbelieving into ropes—right at her chest left across her underbelly. Aniston in wide stance, teeth bared—SHE’S LETTING HER HANDS GO! Jenny A sloshing it to Jenny Mac—mitts bouncing off face and breasts, Mac just staring into the beating at first, then slowly rallying to rotate her torso, turn her shoulders a bit—finally clinching Aniston and hugging her for ref’s break. Aniston bouncing in the grasp, hitting Mac little shoulder bumps in the mouth—ref warns her for it and MAC COMES OVER TOP THE REF A RIGHT HAND! Aniston clobbered upside the head—bell rings—Mac surges forward seething, swinging haymakers at Aniston’s noggin as Jenny A’s scampering backwards in full-tilt mode. Ref manages to tackle McCarthy about the hips from behind, pulling her away. Crazy fourth goes to Jen Aniston!

R4: Aniston chipping little jab, stepping left—face twisted with intensity. McCarthy facing into poke—hands low—she’s looking to step-to and lash Aniston hard power from the hips. Aniston’s first minute plucky: she’s turning McCarthy, stitching in and out, bobbing under some of the haymakers and scouring form hooks of her own. Second minute, girls trade blunt rights, tart hooks in close: Aniston staggers away thunderstruck as McCarthy takes the initiative, Jenny Mac seething, jabbing Aniston’s chest all the way to the ropes: Aniston bounces, covers up, leans in low to clinch, Ref wedging hands in there to pry’em apart—fight gets sloppy as Jennifer returns to peek-a-boo tactics—chipping away best she can, then clinching—bogging McCarthy down in pesky guerrilla warfare, Bell: McCarthy pushing Aniston against ropes, still trying to bat her body hooks—ref yanks blonde away and reads her the riot act.

R6: Mac’s  pounding body attack starting to buckle Aniston: Jenny A groaning, wilting forward from a thumping hook to her stomach: McCarthy able to sidestep-right, deploy extra hooks to her foe’s breasts and guard. Aniston wobbly-butt—but she dips her shoulder, gets under a McCarthy right and hooks those trunks: Jenny blurting in shock, momentarily derailed as Aniston’s able to cuddle up for a break. Mac heartless in –trunk-checked and pissed—she’s walking Aniston down forcefully, bringing hard, clubbing rights up top; batting lefts and steering rights downstairs, Aniston shying away, grimacing—she’s not venturing out much from her eyebrow guard now—just trying to sneak away from punishment, Final minute—McCarthy squaring up on Jen at ropes—hooking Aniston repeatedly behind the right elbow: Ani’s hurt, Jenny A tries to clinch—Mac’s ready for it, stepping back while extending arms to push, then back in with a hook to belly, crippling Aniston downstairs, Aniston sits in the ropes gasping, hands coning down: Mac lashes hooks across Aniston’s lower back as Jenny A huddles forward in pain. McCarthy looming over her girl strong, teeth bared as she beats that back a scouring hook—fits tidy right hands in above left hip: poor Aniston shuddering and grunting, Torrid beatdown altogether too much: Aniston does the slow wilt to the canvas—reaching out her hands to lower herself to her knees. Ani blinking back tears, hugging her battered torso as she sits back on her haunches. Aniston unable to rise—KO6 Jenny McCarthy.

After: Aniston goes down feisty—she went to DeCesare’s trunks to turn back THAT Playmate, tries it again to problematize things for McCarthy. “Bytch went britches ion me!” Says an amazed Jenny Mac in postfight, “I’m kinda proud of her tho’—that was the only card she had to play and she played it—didn’t think she had it in her. That WAS why I hammered her kidneys though. I had been planning to take her out clean to the chin, but after she checked my trunks? I thought ‘bytch must pay!’”

Reposted by Archer 4/2/10.