UNIFIED LIGHTWEIGHT TITLE

Posted by Simguy on 3/21/2008, 9:42 am

Before: “Kaley’s had a good run,” Larter admits in prefight, “but I think people have been a little too impressed with her. Biel was her best recent win—but Jess was already banged up and demoralized at that point—maybe even shot—so Kaley really only has a clean-up fight in front of her. Beating Kelly Brook was nice—but Kelly’s too slow to really put the hammer on a girl like Kaley—so again—I don’t think you can give Cuoco too much credit, I’m the perfect Kaley-busting machine. I’m strong enough to hurt her, fast enough to catch her, fit enough to hang with her, and I’m tougher head to toe. I’ll wear down her body and limbs, then hunt her chin at my leisure. Not gonna be fun for Kaley’s fans, because I plan to dismantle their girl minute by minute—and that’s always tough to watch.” Kaley’s nostrils flaring a bit—Ali’s brazen confidence stirring Cuoco’s competitive juices, “I’ve admired how Ali’s fought her way up the rankings, but she’s obviously let a little success go to her head,” Cuoco grins. “I see how proud she is of her abs—so I’m going right there from the get go. A girl’s pride is the quickest way to get at her confidence: when I hurt Ali to the body, she’s really going to be discouraged because of the investment she’s put in down there. She’s not going to have to worry about ‘catching’ me: I’m gonna be right where she can find me—all night long!” Kaley in heartpounding black bikini—tie side bottoms; hair up in scruffy beach ponytail with bangs; white gloves. Ali fitness-mag yellow bikini with big brass ring connections at hips; white mitts.  (Aside: of you haven’t already, refresh your memory with Aristide;s 2-1 shot of the4se girls side by side. Heartpounding.).

During R1: Smoldering eye contact as girl close warily, ranging in with jabs—both keeping right hands nice and high. Larter working her hook off the jab to Kaley’s breasts and stomach—nice gouging digs as Larter turns her shoulder into ‘em. Kaley responding with her zesty double-hook snap-snapping off Larter’s waist and head—matching Ali punch for punch in early turn-taking. Final minute—girls circling, fighting toe-to-toe; Kaley steers a wide right hand palm-down in behind Larter’s left elbow: Ali grimaces, stops punching. Kaley cleans up: short right uppercut in close; pair of chopping left hands quick to chin; true hook to chin startling Ali as she’s stumbling backward at bell.

R2: Girls not shy—quickly finding each other with jobs, working in close until almost shoulder-to-shoulder. Spank and sting of leather on meat as both women thump the body and ribs—girls tilting forward, lips set in tight, hard-working lines. Kaley limber-licking and strapping her punches; Ali more rigid—dipping her shoulders and digging up into Kaley with short, thrusting action, Each adept at shouldering the other around—muscular fighting taking place in a phone booth as neither girl looks to disengage. Final minute—Kaley separates herself with that classy double hook—swatting Ali’s tummy, shifting weight to right (rear) leg and smiting Larter’s chin. Ali’s legs double-clutching—she’s shook: Kaley sidesteps right, lashes a vicious buggy-whip right hand in above Larter’s left hip to salt away the round. Bell: Ali achy-painy, arching her back, left hand pushing in above her hip. Ringside observer Erica Durance booing Kaley lustily, hands cupped around her mouth for amplification.

R3: Hard-digging fighting continues—girls leaning in on stout legs, working hooks to offending breadbaskets and breasts, chopping right hand, bumping shoulders, Brisk give and take—tight counterclockwise rotation as the girls trade and shift around. Kaley banging away with authority inside—doubling her hooks to Ali’s proud abs; jamming  that palm-don, steering right hand in behind Larter’s left elbow. Ali grimacing, but proving durable: she’s getting a lovely fish-hook right uppercut through to Kaley’s sternum; a short, gouging left uppercut into the ribs, and; a tight-clipping hook across Kaley’s jugs. Too close to call when once again—Kaley flashes handspeed—scoring in bewildering fashion to Ali’s body and jaw via that Sugar ray Leonard/BSE double hook. Ali covers up, stoops forward to regroup: Kaley salts away the round with a thumping buggy-whip right above the left hip, drawing groans of sympathy from the crowd.

R4: Kaley jabbing frisky—just getting Ali covered up—stepping to the right; dropping the right hand to Ali’s cheek; hooking Ali’s tummy from outside Larter’s left shoulder. Ali scowling, earmuffed up—she’d trying to come back with left uppercuts, but missing as Kaley’s too far to the side—Cuoco steppin’ right and stayin’ safe. Cuoco just sticking the jab from medium/close range—then edging in to hook and cross: champ starting to ramp up, outhitting Larter by a significant margin for the first time. Cuoco continuing to gnaw at Larter’s ribs and waist—snatching, snapping blows bounce off Ali’s torso in and around her elbows—and whenever it’s there—Kaley’s lashing that heartless buggy whip right to Larter’s left flank. Ali visibly unhappy—but keeping her guard up, turning, staying square to the target: she’s proving exceptionally durable in the face of Kaley’s class through 4.

R5: Kaley uptempoing, letting her hands go. She’s loose—having fun in there—touching and pushing at Larter while sidestepping, taking ownership of the challenger. Ali getting outhit, but staying composed—she’s dropping out short jabs from her guard to locate Kaley—then edging into lift left uppercuts to Cuoco’s sternum or chop right hands to Kaley’s chin. Cuoco getting scuffed as Larter’s resistance roves stubborn. Middle minute—Kaley explodes on a wondrous, clouting series of lefts and rights against Larter’s biceps: Ali covered up, rides it out, then answers back a digging left uppercut to Kaley’s sternum, CUOCO’S SHOOK! Kaley turns pale—reaching instinctively to clinch, then backing away hurt: Larter steps-with, chops a short right hand to Kaley’s chin, driving her backward. Kaley trying to answer-back hot: girls trade straight, very professional lefts and rights from the shoulder: Ali’s fists pound flush off Kaley’s face as Cuoco’s misses in exchange, Another step-in left uppercut takes Kaley deeeeep to sternum—she gasps, sags into ropes, eyes watery. Ali cold-blooded—ranging in with a chopping jab; sweeping a right hand to Kaley’s waist, clipping the left uppercut off the front foot to brush Kaley back. Cuoco’s hands low—head lolling—she’s trying to slip-and-roll, but she’s too hurt, not calculating right, Larter patient, punching hard, but not reckless—touching Kaley uppercuts to the body, tattooing chests and biceps, then ringing up the chin, Kaley’s curvy legs holding her up, but she’s getting ragdolled against ropes, fielding VERY clean punches: Larter not flashy, but very economical and non-anticipatory with her delivery, Boom-boom, right/left takes Kaley in her gut, bunching her forward with a moan: Larter dips the left shoulder, puts it to Kaley’s chest, eases sitting in ropes, hands in her lap, eyelashes fluttering: Later widens stance and PASTES AWAY! Ali hacking and chopping—short lefts and rights taking Kaley in her breasts, clouting her face. Kaley tilting to her right side: Later able to extend on withering right hands to Cuoco’s jaw, hammering and hammering away until KALEY GOES DOWN! Cuoco pooling on the canvas, rolling to her back in shock—hands up over her head, eyes frowned shut as lips murmur dim protests and it’s OVER! KO5 for the winner and NEW lightweight champ—Ali Larter.

After: Yellow bikini triumphs over black as Larter’s toned physique, hard punching and relentless resolve halts the Cuoco Express. Kaley simply overwhelmed in the fifth—no one punch sealing her fate, but Ali so willful on the kill just wouldn’t give Kaley any chance at all to recover. Larter beaming, hoisting belts over her shoulder—she’s pointing her thumb to herself, mouthing the words “Kaley-buster” on camera before the interviews. “I said all along,” Ali smiles, oozing supremacy. “First Jenny, then Kaley. People wouldn’t have believed it, but I never shied away from that call. Never. Now they’re both at my feet, and they better stay there if they know what’s good for them!”

Reposted by Archer 4/11/10.