THE MOUNTEES VS KRUZHERS STABLE WAR

Posted by Simguy on 12/23/2006, 2:20 pm.

Before: The heaviest burden falls on the smallest shoulders: Krushers/Mountees stable war to be decided at 110 pounds. Intriguing challenge—both girls beginning warm ups as Loken/Henstridge commences, not knowing if the effort will be needed—mental focus paramount in this sort of situation. Jessica bopping down the walkway in pink Dukes bikini, white aerobics shoes/socks, white mitts, Kristen in vivid cobalt bikini, slick ponytail, white aerobics shoes/socks, white mitts. Both rosters ringside, clapping and urging on respective mounts: intense staredown, both beauties having their shoulders rubbed as they maintain glaring eye contact.

During R1: Busy hands, busy feet—Kris Kreuk hopping to her left or right, finding an angle she likes, touching jessi the jab/right hand quick up top, then tucking hook-to-breadbasket. Simpson scowling through the raindrop patter of Kreuk’s combinations—blonde dukes up at temples as Jess tries to come forward. Kreuk’s perky punching keeping Jessica off balance—Krissy just tapping at Simpsy, but touching her all over: chippy jabs; pokey right hands; lathering hooks, head and body. Jug? Better believe it—Kreuk letting her hands roman in shoe-shining bursts, hammering away at rack and guard as Simpsy fronts up. Jess swinging beefy—mostly bashing Kris in her shoulders: one solid overhand right does momentarily startle Kreuk though it’s a brunette first.

R2: Krissy hopping to her right, then angling in hook/right hand—whole Jessi’s covering up, Kreuk digs blonde ribs a nice pesky hook (PIK!) Kreuk steps right, rolling her shoulders as she pivots: jerks a left uppercut off the front (left foot), neatly fitting mitt to chin in between Jessi’s gloves. Simpson hooks: Krissy ducks it, pivots right, hooks Jessica’s left eye and drops the right hand over Simpsy’s shoulder. Jessica enraged, loops a right hand: Krissy ducks it—hands nice and tight at her chest—brunette answers right/left/right to blonde paunch as Simpsy covers up. Simpsy thinks it’s over” Kreuk jerks a right uppercut off the right foot—gets it again as she’s swinging her left foot ‘round behind her to pivot-right, Simpsy flustered, bringing her feet together: she’s pasted a straight one-two in her mouth while off balance. Simpsy’s hands outstretched, lips parted, eyebrows high and startled with her feet parallel: she’s just getting her little heinie waxed by a brisk-punching Kreuk. Kris keeps it up—chippin’ and a-choppin’—circling an increasingly confused and discouraged Jessica as Mountee shuts out Krusher in the second.

R3: Simpsy JMD-tough—not hard to shake off Kristin’s pitty-pat combos—but Kreuk keeps establishing angle with her feet, getting off first, and scoring before Jessica can get organized. Frustrated Simpsy keeping hands high, blocking a lot of shots by default—by the time she answers back, Kreuk’s usually already scooted out of range, Creep-steppin’ right, Krissy prods and taps her jab, just turning jess—then brunette swishes away scrubbing rights and lefts against jugg, giving poor Simpsy  terrible buffeting, lAte the round, Simpson catches Kristin an overhand right high on the head: clubbing wallop enough to buckle Kreuk’s legs, showing the power differential between these two petites.

R4: Simpsy keeps coming—pre-emptive bursts from Kreuk enough to stall Jessica, but nothing Kreuk does really backs Jess up, Kristin’s churning, crisp lefts and rights frequently bedazzle—more than once Jessi’s face-pasted and left gasping—but Kreuk’s furious pace to slow as Simpsy gets closer and closer. Down the stretch, girls trade short, drifting rights to chins—both come back with hooks: Kreuk ships it well but her back touches ropes for the first time. Simpsy closes strong—pushing in to fight off Krissy’s chest—both girls hup-hup-hupping flapping punches to toned bodies underneath. Jessica answering back to Kreuk’s breast in retaliation. Kreuk teeth bared, fighting desperately—bell sounds—both girls still plugging away until ref physically intervenes.

R5: Simpsy with a little mouse under her left eye—and she immediately wades into a dozen pesky little punches as Kris gets off feisty—but blonde starting to walk brunette down now. Kreuk landing three to Jessica’s one—but Simpsy swinging with all her hopes and reams on every shot: Kris just can’t match the wallop, More toe-to-toe as Krissy’s jab can’t keep Jess off—Kreuk digging, baring her teeth and fighting tooth-anmd-nail with the fuller-bodied blonde. HAMMER AND TOBGS! It’s flyweight mayhem at its blizzardy best—frothy punches batting back and forth—feet stamping, tight backsides jumping, eyes blazing, Simpsy getting BLISTERED as Kreuk sets down on right hands up the middle and tucks her shoulder behind hooks-to-jug off the right foot. Kreuk accepting blount rights and lefts on her chin—ponytail tossing as sher heads swivels. Round finishes up with Jessica working Kristin hard on the ropes—Kreuk moving her hands, trying to fend Simpsy off at the bell.

R6: One-two up top, then Krissy hooks that paunch, hooks that paunch—weight on left foot, right hand at cheek. Simpson grunting, hooking back, just grazing Kreuk’s lips as brunette leans backwards to slip it. Right hand chops across Jessica’s chin; left hooks skids across her eyebrows’ left hammering her right and lefts as she wades in. Crowd roaring—Krissy pivoting and stepping around, but fully engaging her blonde; Kreuk accepting Simpson’s terms and doing very well and KREUK GOES DOWN! HUGE overhand right, Jess Simpson—blonde bending in and down, looping a pulverizing blast over the top as Krissy’s trying a pushy right up the middle—Kreuk’s head on a swivel, then she pitches to her back, legs outstretched out stiff. It’s OVER! KO6 Jessica Simpson: series victory to the Krushers 3 bouts to 2.

After: Krusher vixens flood the ring, hoisting their bulging little battler high atop proud shoulders—Simpsy getting the royal treatment with a big come-through win under pressure, Poor Kreuk: boxing the pants off Jessica in spots, outclassing her—but blonde’s willful haymakers eventually caught up with Kristin’s elegance. Ugly near-brawl earlier in the evening has Krushers reluctant to press Jessica’ post-fight rights to Kristin’s dignity—but Simpsy eyeing poor swooning Kreuk greedily as brunette is brought around on her stool.

Reposted by Archer 5/25/10