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13 August 2010 Salma Hayek vs Reese Witherspoon

Page history last edited by Archer844 13 years, 5 months ago

Posted by for simguy on 8/13/2010, 10:24 pm

(results by simguy/words by simgrrl)

Before: Witherspoon's first outing for her new stable (The Academy) and while the petite blonde has fought infrequently, she's won only 5 of 22 fights and she's winless for over seven years! Hayek - near the end of an illustrious career - looking to establish herself as 'the Kiana Tom of Mexico' by promoting 'Boxing on the Beach' at seaside resorts. This is her first and takes place in a standard ring on the beachfront promenade. This is the Main Event of a five fight card of which the undercard features big celebrity names like Penelope Cruz, Michelle Rodriguez, Paz Vega, Selena Gomez, Eva Mendes and Rosario Dawson.
Reese showing respect for a Mexican CBL (Celebrity Boxing Legend) making all the right verbal bows and almost stooping to smooch Salma's posterior at one event. "Salma's a legend for good reason," Witherspoon gushed. "She's beaten all the top flyweights and she's a JMD icon... for obvious reasons. I'm just here to help sell tickets and get her new business off to a good start. If there's anything I can do to help Salma, all she's gotta do is call, I'll be there." Hayek going out of her way to hype sluggish ticket sales: "Reese is 4-1 against me in apartment wrestling," adding "Don't let her sweet face and dimples fool you; in the ring or on the carpet, she's a tiger. And the other girls are hot, hot, hot. So if you like to see gorgeous Latina's in tiny little suits, be sure to come out this weekend. We'll all be there for photos and autographs."
Salma proving she's still got it going on in the tiniest possible leopard print string bikini; dark hair wild and free; feet bare. Reese more conservative in baby blue two piece; blonde hair in tousled ponytail; white sneaks. They shake hands, hug and Salma gives Reese a long kiss "for luck" before they return to their corners.

During R1: Reese springs out of her corner, takes the fight to Hayek from the bell. Salma slow starting, getting driven back to the ropes where RW hammers that 40 year old body. Lots of shoulder-shrugging, head-bobbing, inside action with the blonde getting all up in Hayek's heavy-hanging hooters; having her way with her hostess on the strands. Pretty much a bell-to-bell show of blonde dominance from underdog Witherspoon who spins away at the bell with a ponytail toss of her golden mane as Hayek, chest heaving, meanders back to her corner, acknowledging the polite applause of her people at ringside as everyone knows Reese Witherspoon dominated the round.

R2: Slow-starting Salma still looks frazzled off her stool and Reese picks up right where she left off in the first, only moreso! Shouldering Salma back, Reese digs into the golden tawny tanned deliciousness of Hayek's midsection; Reese looking fresh, fighting with confidence and aggression unexpected from someone with her lackluster record. Reese pounds Hayek back to the ropes where her up-tempo attack tears Salma apart. Fans snapping pics with cellphones as time and again, Salma's sweet meat threatens to abandon ship of her tiny top, but she manages to hold it together - taking a pasting in the process. Shutout with surprising power, Witherspoon.

R3: Salma getting it together, stalling Reese's advance in the opening minute, drawing a figurative line in the sand (since there's not really any sand!) Reese feeling the Latina Heat as Hayek is able to set her feet, working that gancha look she's famous for. Reese answering with her own right hook, something her private trainer Lucy Liu has stressed in workouts. Salma's left finding space under Reese's right elbow, lathering her ribs up nicely whenever Reese goes up top with the hook. Closing minute, Hayek gets it in gear, taking the fight to Witherspoon who is forced to back up for the first time in the fight. Hayek on the boards with her best round so far.

R4: Witherspoon back in charge. Reese outworking the older brunette this round, getting her left jab back into the fight and once she breaks out the stick, things get easier. Jab sets up the hook and the hook opens the door as Reese again manages to drive Salma back to the ropes where the blonde pretty much owns Salma's plush body! Mexican beauty breathing hard as the round winds down with Witherspoon in complete command. Shutout Reese Witherspoon as she moves out to a substantial lead on the cards.

R5: Cue comeback! Reese perhaps a little cocky; or maybe Salma's pride has been stung, but whatever the reason, Hayek brings out the hammer this round, beating Reese to the ropes for a change and setting up shop on her chest. Salma digging body with both hands, taking the wind from Witherspoon's sails. Hard hooks pry apart Reese's defenses and Reese's legs give a shimmy! WITHERSPOON'S HURT! Salma catches 'Spoon clean and the blonde is forced to clinch. Now it's Salma doing the mammary mashing; driving uppies into Reese's jutting juggs as she leans forward hugging Hayek's shoulders. Reese rocked by heavy hooks to the body and DOWN GOES REESE! Witherspoon staggered by left to the head and dropped by a right hook to the liver! Reese up at eight, retreating in good order; Hayek pursuing carefully, looking for a chance to land the one punch that can end it. Witherspoon clutching and grabbing, hanging on, runs out the clock on a big Hayek round!

R6: Reese recovering nicely between rounds, out firing with both hands, not giving Hayek a chance to set her feet. Again, it's blonde outworking brunette as Salma getting pushed back by Witherspoon's attack. Lots of close, inside, action as neither wants to give the other room to punch; attacks smothered by mutual clinching; lots of digging to the ribs, liver, some jug work by Reese as it's hard to avoid Hayek's humongous hooters even if she tried to - and she doesn't try. Reese back to her hook; fitting it in behind/under Salma's elbow on either side. Hayek looking forlorn at the bell, her already wild hair even more disheveled after a rough round.

R7: Once again, Hayek answers Witherspoon with a good round of her own! Still effective, even at her age, Hayek calls on her veteran wiles and pushes, shoves and steers Reese around behind a stiff jab and withering hooks! Reese answering back, but Hayek's upped her workrate and she's landing two for every one of Witherspoon's. Hayek landing thumping left hooks to the body under Reese's right hook and when the blonde tries to shield her ribs, Salma whistles that left hook up and over the right, clapping her upside the head. Inside the key to this round; both women wanting to dominate the other to the body. Stubborn blonde Reese digging and hooking; at times they're belly to belly with one arm wrapped around the others waist, punching and slugging with the free hand! Salma manages to get a little separation every so often, then brings that uppercut up between her bulging bra cups. Reese never sees it coming and is rocked time and again. Solid performance by SH!!

R8: Reese's turn! As before, Witherspoon answers Hayek with a good round of her own. Taking a page from Lucy Liu's book, Reese comes out and throws a leap-in lead right that rocks Hayek early. Still, neither able to establish a rhythm in the fight as Reese now bangs away with big, lusty, rangy, punching, smothering Hayek's returns with a volley of high-volume carpet bombing rather than precision targeted bombing. Hayek's body betraying her; she's starting to cramp up under the fusillade of fists sent her way. Salma breaking down under the barrage; unable to get off as she has in previous rounds, forced to duck, bob, weave and roll with the punches instead of forcing Reese off of her. Thudding accumulation of body work by Reese adds up and by the end of the round, Salma Hayek looks drowsy and shopworn, ground down under the younger blondes superior workrate.

R9: This round of the dance should be Salma's, but Reese won't let her lead! Reese takes up right where she left off in the eighth, stubbing her jab in Salma's face, scuffing her up, then stacking and jacking Hayek against the ropes. Reese never noted for her jug mugging, but with Salma it's hard to resist and Witherspoon is only human! Once she has Hayek backed up and pinned on the ropes, Reese unleashes on Hayek's heaving heavyweight hooters! Reese romping and Salma's too hurt, too tired and too battered to deny her. Reese uppercutting Salma's pride and joy; shoe-shining them; even hammering down into her cleavage at one point when Hayek is leaning forward trying to clinch. Exhausted, the breath beaten out of her, HAYEK SPRAWLS TO ALL FOURS AT REESE'S FEET! Reese bounces happily to the far corner as the referee moves in to count. Salma sits back on her haunches, fumbles with her tiny top, covering her left breast that had popped free. Standing slowly, she glumly accepts the standing eight. Gloves up, they re-engage, clinching and banging body to the bell as it appears Reese is content to carry Salma to the finish line.

R10: Reese out all lively, all excited by the prospect of her first FCBA win in eight years! Reese banging away lustily, looking to make a statement; eyes wide with jug lust like so many of Hayek's opponents; looking to clean up; showing off for the fans who have started to boo Hayek's late round fade. They love Salma and wanted to see her win, but now she's being shown up by this gringa blanca and it's hard to watch. Reese all jiggley and bouncy, up on her toes, hooking hard to the body she's been softening up for nine rounds! But Reese maybe gets a little careless, because with Salma backed against the ropes, Reese eats a counter hook that puts a dip in her legs! Salma grabs and whirls Reese around, shoves her back to the ropes and then hook, hook, hooks, her body. Reese gasping, clinching desperately; cheek on Salma's shoulder, her juicy butt rippling; thighs jiggling as Salma goes all in; pounding away at the blonde's body with both fists. Crowd on their feet screaming her name, Hayek looks like the fighter she was ten, even fifteen years ago when she was the scourge of the flyweight ranks! But it's all too little, too late and the bell saves a reeling Reese from an embarrassing collapse! Result obvious, even to Salma's most fervent fans, UD10 for Oscar winner Reese Witherspoon... finally off the schneid after seven years!!

After: Classy Reese goes to Hayek's corner, pulls her off her stool by the hand and raises her arm. Girls hug, Salma wincing; gives Reese a peck on the cheek, then they shake hands, Hayek lifts Reese's arm overhead.
"You don' wanna talk to an old, washed up, broken down, fighter," Salma tells reporters, a towel covering her head. "Go take Reese's picture, this night belongs to the blonde girl."
"I've got to thank Ginny for the chance to get into a stable," Reese says in her postfight presser. "But more than her, Lucy Liu. Lucy helped me fix some bad habits I'd gotten into. It really hurt my development; not fighting much in the early years - which made my parents happy - but marriage and family came before everything else. You can't fight at the cost of relationships, a lot of the girls will tell you that now. But after all the acclaim for my on-screen work, I realized there's part of me that 'has to finish' this boxing thing. Besides," she said with a self-conscious grin, (daughter) "Ava watches boxing on TV and when she found out I used to box, she begged me to get back in the ring. Ah, the things we do for our kids!"
With her first win in the FCBA since July, 2003, a span of over SEVEN years, Reese sees the glass as half full, rather than half empty. "I know some of you think I must be over the hill, but really, I'm only 34 years old, that's younger than a lot of girls who are ranked...and I've only fought 22 times in 10 years, so there's not a lot of mileage on my chassis. I think, thanks to the help of a solid stable with good contacts, and Lucy Liu to help train me, that while I may not win a title, I can surely be competitive and not embarrass myself or my daughter. And so that's what I plan to do. Now why don't you all go join Salma at her party. She's got great plans for 'Boxing On The Beach' a promotion I know you'll want to hear more about."

Photo references
Witherspoon: http://images.askmen.com/galleries/actress/reese-witherspoon/pictures/reese-witherspoon-picture-6.jpg

Hayek: http://img205.imageshack.us/img205/2517/salmahayekqi7.jpg