Posted  by simguy 1-14-05 

Thanks to Ginny for this repost.

Boxer/puncher match up - most favour Jolie as the classier stylist, but Jewel's done well against lithe slicksters like AJ in the past. "You gotta wonder if Jolie can put Jewel down," speculates one BLONDE! magazine optimist. "Kilcher can take Angelina's punch but if Jewel can line Jolie up and put some heat on that chin: goodnight Tomb Raider!" Black Got Milk ad bikini Jolie - teal bandeau bikini, slick ponytail Jewel.

Round 1: Southpaw Jolie stepping right, grooves a slamming straight left to the left side of Jewel's jaw, doubles up and gets it again quick to buckle Kilcher's legs at the open. AJ sidestepping, guiding Jewel past with a Torreador-wave right hand, then attacking from the fresh angle. Jewel shaken, but keeping her guard together, standing strong in the face of spackling Jolie jabs head and torso.

Round 2: Jolie not pressing her advantage in the first: she comes for Jewel with a vengeance in the second. Another sliding left to the jaw gets Kilcher in trouble early - follow up lefts (chin) and right hooks high on the temple back Kilcher to ropes. Lathering beatdown chases Jewel to her right into a neutral corner - blonde vixen busting up, getting drowsy as limber brunette tears away. Kilcher: arms crossed, tilting forward, facing into blows. Jolie licking right hooks under the breastline, sliding in that vicious straight left to the jaw, often doubling it from the queer angle. Sliding back, Jolie's getting gobsmacking clout on Jewel's jaw via right hooks, easing back in to collect more ringing straight lefts on the chin. Masterful sharp shooting Jolie: rugged endurance from Kilcher as she is picked apart and refuses to succumb. Jewel back to her corner wobbly butt, busted up over the left eye but defiant as Jolie gives it her best.

Round 3: Angelina backing off, awestruck that Kilcher's still coming. Jewel stepping forward with hands tight to her head, trying to step behind her jab. Jolie changing directions, using the ring - fluttering right jab to the belly, stinging jab to work that left eye. Every once in a while, Jolie turns and slings that oily straight left over Jewel's left to tag chin - blonde getting scored on heavily, but steadily walking through it through 3.

Round 4: Jolie pretty on the outside, hands loose, low - confident she has Jewel too hurt for blonde to close distance without warning. Kilcher keeping dukes up, stepping steadily, but bothered by the southpaw counterclockwise rotation and angles. Jolie getting too many clean left hands down the middle - Kilcher just not seeing them. AJ fitting lefts in, bouncing rights off Jewel's scalp - brunette slugging, sidestepping in elegant fashion but can't get Jewel off her feet. Kilcher really lumping up nicely, left eye closing, nostrils bleeding, but she's upbeat in her corner - feels she's got Jolie on the run!

Round 5: Still the Angelina Jolie show - Kilcher not cutting off the ring, nor throwing enough to merit consideration. Jolie limber, sinewy, stepping mostly to the right, occasionally changing directions and resetting at midring. AJ stooping to flutter-jab Kilcher's tummy, trying to pester and distract: Jolie wants clear punching seams for her left hand up top. Not much hard contact: Jewel's rigid blocking D impenetrable - Jolie's ring management unassailable in the fifth.

Round 6: Jolie with some nice lashing combinations - slick right hook across the ribs, straight left hands on the mouth. Kilcher rung up, staggered momentarily, but always regrouping and trudging forward - by midway point she's landing loud right hand on the flank, cudgeling lefts up top. Jolie forced into the ropes, loose-limbed and supple as she leans and twists with blonde punching. Spiteful elbow to Jewel's mouth late: AJ warned - Jolie showing signs of frustration with Kilcher's relentless pressure.

Round 7: Jewel still coming forward, jabbing out of that high, tight guard - forcing Jolie to ropes. Jewel deliberate, constructive this round - crunching into slender Jolie ribs great bashing right hands, mopping up hooks upstairs. Kilcher tanning both flanks, working behind Jolie's elbows: second minute see AJ's face strained, back to ropes. Final minute, Jewel pinning her ears back and putting a sustained beating on Jolie - AJ covering up earmuff, bending low to show her back on occasion, draping into ropes: Jewel crowding close, throwing hard to the bell.

Round 8: More Jewel - stepping methodically behind that thrusting jab, getting close enough to club Jolie in the torso, right hands, bump her to the ropes with the left shoulder. Kilcher putting 'em together heavy - bashing away at biceps and hips, leaning over to get in behind Jolie's right elbow with the hook - good muscular beat down. Series of jerking, rapid fire right hands up into breadbasket proves too much: Jolie breathless, issues fight's first clinches as she hangs hurt at the bell.

Rounds 9-10: Jolie's seen enough: she can't punch with Jewel Kilcher. She can box with Jewel though - Jolie taking to her feet, feathering, slapping and piercing the right jab, guiding the hard-charging blonde past with matador sidesteps. Kilcher not seeing punches well through swollen eyes, but not caring: she's walking through everything Angelina's throwing. Still, Jolie's scoring, stinging - she might not be hurting Kilcher but she controls the final two heats to coast to the finish line. Comes back UD10 - Angelina Jolie.

After: Kilcher chopped up, but showing Neve Campbell like determination and will to come forward - Jolie calling on all her southpaw wiles to stay sharp - very few lapses of concentration tonight. AJ wincing as hands are unwrapped - hands obviously throbbing from impacting Jewel's hard head all night. Kilcher getting enswell and TLC in her corner - she's puffy, very sore, but therein lies the Jolie error. "Didn't take it out of Jewel's body," mutters one old-time scribe.