Posted by simguy 2-4-05

Thanks to Ginny for this repost.

"We actually like this match up," says Head KruZher Lange of Jessica Alba's healthy 'favorite' status at most books. "Conventional wisdom says that Jessica's too much boxer for Jewel, but we like what Kilcher can do here. Alba's never had the greatest chin and her mind's fragile as an eggshell - any pressure at all can crack this kid. Jessica's a lithe, classy stylist, so we don't want Jewel to get fancy - we just want Kilcher to come forward, put hands on Jess, get her on the ropes and smash away. It's a real simple fight: Jewel just has to want it." Alba in brown bikini (Aristide reference), Jewel in teal bandeau bikini, slick ponytail.

Rd 1: SHRIEKING right hand landed over the top by Alba to open - gorgeous lick, all sinewy torso lean and whip delivery - crowd squealing with delight at the heavy shellacking shock...and Jewel soaks it up. Kilcher hurt - going earmuff and wobbly butt, but she doesn't back up much, doesn't go down. Alba wading in lanky - great ropy hooks licking at Kilcher's right side ribs; curling left uppercuts against the front gates of Kilcher's guard. By the final minute, Jewel able to come forward with a stubby jab out of her high blocking guard, chasing Alba to ropes and working her flanks ham-handed at the bell.

Rd 2: Kilcher showing no ill effects of gobbling Alba's looping right in the first - it's blonde marching forward behind a heavy, persistent jab, right hand serious at her temple. Jewel stepping in hard with the right, sweeping it to the flank or jamming it straight at the jaw, mopping up rigid hooks on the other side. Alba hounded to ropes all bandy armed, loose in the torso - she'll lean forward, lean back, elbows in, gloves up, trying to ride it out. Thumping beat down reaches fever pitch late - Kilcher in wide, strong stance, hammering away lefts and rights, bashing at Alba arms, hips and back when belly, tits and face aren't available and JESSICA TAKES A KNEE! Quivering lower lip Alba as she takes 8 - Jewel's uncompromising fists clubbing out a harsh 10-8 second with bell to bell pressure.

Rd 3: Kilcher keeps the same measured pace - stepping Alba down with the shock-stick, leaning in close to land hard right hands to the body, then hanging around in Alba's grill to slug her senseless. Jessica loping along the perimeter but allowing herself to be hounded - she's doing a lot of bending, slipping and holding off the ropes - very little punching as Kilcher rolls up another bruising shutout.
Rd 4: Kilcher takes her third straight with the same recipe: heavy, thudding jabs out of a high safety-first guard; bashing right hands in the ribs; constant pound-down of Alba's arms as brunette covers up on the ropes; tasty cudgeling hooks up and down that right flank. Alba open mouthed - pushing Jewel off by her shoulders and loping away, only to be tracked back down and abused - poor Jess just can't keep Kilcher off her through 4.

Rd 5: Alba sharpens up, shows class, tools in whittling Jewel for a shutout. Alba sliding her front foot greasy, lifting a stinging jab off her hip, rolling Kilcher right hands with that lead left shoulder. Jess cute off the pivot - cuffing Kilcher's ear the hook to sidestep, rolling Jewel's right and answering a lanky right on the mouth in return. Jess with that closed stance gets her left shoulder on Jewel at times, bends knees and gets up into blonde with digging right uppercuts - Alba slithering away rather than hanging around too long in such sequences.

R6: Alba CARVES away right hands! Glorious overhand rights CLAP on the ear; ringing right uppercuts; straight spanking rights between the eyes off sweeping set-up hooks. Kilcher wading forward to her doom - eating so many hard, fight winning rights and caressing, mean-spirited lefts judges loose track. Midway through, series of pesky backhanded flutter-jabs sets Jewel up for a Buster Douglas loop right uppercut on the chin, sending blonde tottering on her heels and ONTO HER BACK in the corner! Kilcher twitching off the KO and beating the count: Alba's chest heaving, eyes glaring at the sight of unyielding blonde. ON COMES JESSICA! Alba riding her long forearms into Jewel's shoulders, then dipping to rip uppercuts from either hand. Kilcher's ribcage given a tremendous lashing to the bell as Jessica romps to shutout.

Rd 7: MORE RIGHT HANDS! Alba baring her teeth, riding the left on her thigh as she bends sinewy torso to the task of pulling fight winning haymakers onto Jewel's head. Kilcher windblown, staggering under the shellac, but refusing to go down - Alba just loading up and getting all she can on these murderous strokes. Kilcher Gatti-esque as she soaks up one devastating shot after another, reels, regroups and keeps trudging forward - Jessica breathing hard, disbelieving at the bell. Kilcher corner with work cut out for the them - Jewel's face swelling badly - she's cut above the left eye - cut in the mouth: she's a mess.

Rd 8: KILCHER COMING FORWARD! Jessica discouraged at the sight of Jewel stepping, chopping the jab, bending to get that plugging right to the body - battered Jewel comes out of the seventh the more determined vixen. Alba's legs still getting her out of jams, but she's armweary, punches though lanky and pretty to behold aren't holding Jewel off. Kilcher fighting her way to Alba's chest, stacking Jess at the ropes and going at her - crunching, clubbing lefts and rights pounding down the arms, ribs and tummy of her foe with great beefy clouts. Alba weary, dukes at her cheeks, elbows in - she's rolling her torso side to side to take the edge off Jewel's relentless bashing.

Rd 9: Kilcher stepping to her girl - Alba melting around the ring, anxious to avoid any long exchanges. Jess stopping, brawling in spots - she'll get that left shoulder into Jewel and work with lanky right uppercuts chin and tummy - even swiping across jug whenever possible. Jewel dukes at temples - always the same disciplined look - hard jab sets up thumping body work sets up head shots.

Rd 10: Alba sticking and moving. Rising stick off the hip a snapper - busting Jewel with authority - doesn't stop blonde but it does slow her pursuit. Jess dipping and getting gorgeous lanky left hooks to body or licking left uppercuts - again, not backing Kilcher up but freezing her momentarily, snatching a breath or two from the blonde. Cuffing hooks (often just open-hand slaps) on the ear aid sidestepping pivots - Alba masterfully keeping Jewel at midring, at the end of her punches. At the bell - Kilcher still waving Jessica on - Alba sneering, wincing from rib-hurt. Comes back a DRAW to outraged boos from the audience.

After: Kilcher the more busted up facially, but you can't judge a book by it's cover. Jewel imposing her will much of the fight, pounding away to the body leaves Alba numb from the neck down - exhausting fight for both beauties sees either side make plausible arguments. "It's simple," says Lange postfight. "Our girl made the fight - their girl ran. Jess landed some scorching right hands, but Jewel gobbled them right up and you can't say Alba took Jewel's power as well. Any way you slice it, Jewel Kilcher won this fight - AND - it's not the first time she's gotten a bum rap from the judges." Alba probably landing more, and harder right hands in the six and seventh rounds of this fight than anyone ever has in a prize fight - so many highlight-reel licks help to create a false impression of the action as those punches are generally what gets shown on the news and talk-shows.