Posted by Simguy on 5-20-05

Thanks to Ginny for this repost.

"It's pretty clear to me," says a skirt-boot-and-blouse wearing Jewel in prefight, "that Jen Connelly doesn't want any part of me in a boxing ring. Think about it: name one other girl who has been asked to beat - in order - Jessica Alba, Evangeline Lilly and Carmen Electra? That's three of the best athletes in boxing. You put that many hoops in front of a girl, and I don't care what you say: you are scared of that girl." Electra sounding all grown up her side of the dais - saying all the right things. "I'm not 22 anymore," curvy brunette admits, "I can't just bop into girls like Jewel and hope to whack them out. Kilcher's bigger than me, she's strong and I've seen what she does to good boxers to make them quit. To beat her, I've got to use what God gave me - no not those (frowns at hooting reporters) my LEGS. I've got to give Jewel constant movement, frustrate her spirit and break HER down - something not too many people have done recently." All sounds good in theory, but Carmen fighting disciplined a dodgy prospect at best - she's talking the talk, can she walk the walk? Jewel in pale blue bandeau bikini, slick low ponytail - Carmen in lavender jogging bikini, halter-style top, ring connection at jugs, faux white belt about the hips.

Rd 1: Carmen unorthodox, hands down - doing all the things she said she wouldn't - trying to dart in and out, potshot and circus punch oncoming Kilcher. Jewel right hand at temple, left at cheek, elbows in tight - she's walking Carmen down, thrusting out that hard, mean-spirited jab, cutting the ring down like a professional. Carmen channelled to the ropes and systematically beaten - Jewel bludgeoning her foe's curvy arms, generous jugs, quivering ribs in a series of punishing assaults. Electra covering up, bobbing at the waist, trying to slip and roll punches at the waist: she looks a lot like Alba and Lilly did under pressure from Kilcher.

Rd 2: Carmen works her plan this round, using her legs, getting out of the pocket, roaming the ring. Feints key for Electra - just buying herself split seconds with little stomps and head moves, then scooting around Jewel. Carmen equally agile moving to her right or left, helping herself out with a surprisingly tart jab off the hip. Kilcher outjabbed for one of the few times this year - Electra able to keep things midring, circling and nibbling at Jewel with flashy shoe-shining combos. Down the stretch, Electra ducks in very low, rips a left uppercut to Jewel's breadbasket, then doubles the uppercut to Jewel's chin - KILCHER GOES WOBBLY BUTT! Delight in Carmen's dancing eyes - she's got Jewel stomping in fence post holes at the bell.

Rd 3: Carmen hurts Jewel again: sweeping right hand up top - blocked - gorgeous swinging hook that shivers off liver - Jewel stoops forward, Carmen steps to the right and bites a tidy hook off Kilcher's left eye. Electra on her toes, moving as well as she ever has in a boxing ring - she's constantly turning Jewel's left flank with a counterclockwise rotation. Spitting jabs work on Kilcher's left eye and preoccupy the guard - Jewel not releasing much, keeping her hands home to block. Carm also stooping, getting that belly jab - just a tapping nuisance now, but it's money in the bank later if she commits to it. Shutout Electra - she's bouncy, smiling breezy back to her corner: Kilcher stoic, scuffed up, but unflappable as she regroups during the break.

Rds 4-5-6: No denying it - Carmen's fighting smart, fighting disciplined, using her legs to thwart Jewel's grinding pressure. Electra bewildering, always a half-step ahead of Jewel, turning the blonde, feinting her, sidestepping her. Electra's offense a mix of pesky jabs, brushing shoe-shine combinations and the odd stinging power punch - hard to get through Jewel's air-tight frame defense with consistency, but the constant clawing, scraping, tapping and spanking has Kilcher's guns holstered. Jewel nicked, lumping up and frustrated through 6 - Carmen breezing through the middle rounds, racking up the points.

Rd 7: Electra hangs around to hook Jewel's midsection - brunette getting a little piggy, standing right in front of Kilcher - she pays the price big time. Jewel taking body shots, set in her tight stance - she suddenly answers a well-timed hook on the chops, putting Electra ragdoll on the spot - short, drilling straight right hand in the teeth shunts Electra to her backside in a heartbeat. Kilcher glacier-eyed as she stalks to neutral corner: Carmen up, tottering slightly - she's hurt, digs in at the ropes after 8. Jewel methodical, wading in - right hand at her temple, she preps Carmen with some shelling jabs, pounding away at the defenses, knocking Carmen upright against the ropes, then IN with the right hand. Shuddering blasts to the hip and jaw have Electra reeling - she slides to her right, trying to keep it together - Jewel shadowing her course, stepping-with, keeping that punishing jab on Electra. Big booming right hands amidships, clubbing right hands up top - it's just a ropeside beatdown as Electra stumbles, slips, bobs, twists and rolls under fire. Bell: Jewel glaring, Carmen dazed, shook up - blonde turns the tide in the seventh.

Rd 8: Shutout Jewel Kilcher. Jewel walking Carmen down with that thudding stick, then setting up on her at the ropes. Big, juicy licks in the body - Kilcher strapping home the hook AND the swinging roundhouse rights - poor Carmen just rolling her torso, keeping elbows in, trying to sop it up. Electra fairly cute in the pocket, but Jewel's jab the answer - blonde just pulverizing brunette as Carmen tries to slip and roll, constantly putting Electra upright and setting her up for bashing body contact. Jewel not neglecting those arms either - Kilcher getting big on Carmen's flanks, beating the biceps, ribs, hips with muscular, flat-knuckle contact. Good beefy work - Carmen open-mouthed, trembling with hurt, but give her credit: she rides it out, suffering in silence for the most part, trusting her legs to hold her up.

Rd 9: Carmen showing movement for the first time since the sixth, reversing field, keeping her back off the ropes and making Jewel work for her supper. Kilcher constantly forced to adjust her feet - it's definitely working whenever Electra can execute. Carm not doing a lot of scoring - just a few abrupt shoe-shine combinations and that good firm jab in the body - Electra turning her girl, boxing her smart in a tactical 9th.

Rd 10: Jewel still fresh, still walking Carmen down with authority. Electra flat footed now, mouth breathing - she's run a marathon tonight and it's catching up to those thirty-something legs and lungs. Electra turning her shoulders as she backpedals, presenting the left side, then the right - always keeping her stance closed, looking to surprise Jewel coming in. Kilcher willing to risk it - confident her high, tight guard will gobble up anything Electra has to offer - blonde feels she's taken the best Carmen can give tonight. Electra bouncing off the ropes, staying cute for as long as she can, but eventually she's hounded ropeside, forced to cover up earmuff as Jewel digs in. Kilcher squared away, hips set - she's hooking Carmen horribly in the flank, in above the hip - great thumping rips as blonde turns the punch over, scooping at Electra's trembling body behind the elbow. Big booming right hands over the left side hip, then doubled up into the plush cushion of Electra's jugs - Carmen whimpering as Jewel punks that rack with heartfelt slugging. Kilcher brawny, easing her shoulder into Carmen to stack her up, then bashing away - all Jewel to the bell as she turns on thick rights and lefts, patiently hammering at what's left. Carmen crossed arm, bending sullen at the waist rides it out, makes it to the bell as Jewel lifts her arms in triumph. Comes back UD10...Carmen Electra!

After: Jewel crestfallen, but impassive - no trace of emotion as her gloves are removed. Electra wiping at happy tears and bouncing on the spot - her legs built the lead, then her body withstood the shock of Jewel's late rounds rally - curvy little brunette proves a spoiler with a gutty effort. "I knew I could box her," Electra gushes in post fight. "Nobody else did, but I knew I could. I got her respect early - that was the key - I hurt Jewel and that made her hesitate in the first half. By the time she got herself together - it was too late!" Kilcher philosophical in defeat. "You can't win them all, especially when a craven champion sets so many obstacles in your path. To be fair, Carmen fought a great fight, but I still had her on the run down the stretch. Obviously, I needed to close with her and do more damage early on, but give her credit - she ran well, and sold it to the judges." (In her next fight, Electra wins the bantam title from Jen Connelly!)