PHOTOS COURTESY BI PHOTO LAB

Posted by Simguy on 1/1/2004, 8:33 am.

Before: Paltrow sailing into a big money bout on the heels of a controversial stoppage victory over Jewel. “Lightweights are going to have to realize: they can’t take my punch,” Gwynny says, apparently in all sincerity. “Jewel wanted to walk through me and I destroyed her. The look in her eyes when I caught her that first right hand--she couldn’t believe the power I was smoking her with. I see the same stupid overconfidence in Jennifer--she’s licking her lips at the thought of getting an Oscar winner in the ring, but when she gets hurt--it’s going to be a whole different story.” Lopez confident indeed--good boxers give her problems, but Jennifer’s not buying Gwynny’s act. “Puh-leeeeze! Everyone knows Kilcher was robbed and I’m not having any of that. I’m gonna work the Gwynch OUT baby, I’m gonna go Bronx on her disappointing ass. Everyone knows how I do once I get in that ring--Gwyneth is going to SUFFER! Yeah!” Jlo in Boxeadoras International battle dress
(Black wet leather sports bra/matching mini-trunks & mini-skirt with gold tassles)--Gwyneth in pink “Shallow Hal” bikini, long battle braid.

During R1: Jlo--clowning, mugging, dropping her hands, taunting--Paltrow showing her thinking man’s pedigree, keeping her dukes up, stamping out a consistent jab, circling to her left to keep Lopez turning. Jennifer pelted by decent, stick caught by a couple of pedestrian right crosses on the chin--she’s not impressed, obviously disdainful, but she’s also shut out as Gwynny minds her knitting, stays focused for points.

R2: Lopez a little more serious now, moving her head, keeping her gloves at her chin, trying to close, but Gwynny’s boxing better than expected--maintaining her distance, making Jlo come forward and potshot ting her right hands on the way in. Paltrow’s robotic, not totally comfortable with her boxing moves, but she IS timing Jen well, pre-empting her and moving--bottom line is blonde keeps her distance and Jenny’s frustrated. Midway through, Lopez trying to load up and rush her hooks--Paltrow drops a clanging right clean on the chops and JENNIFER’S WOBBLY BUTT! Lopez straightening, dropping her hands, walks away and nearly pitches onto her face! Jenny stumbling to the ropes in astonishment--Paltrow storming in, sets her feet and tries to finish. Gwynny’s deficiencies exposed during the close--she’s got decent form when she can set down on a right hand from outside--when she squares up and tries to flurry, she’s a bit of a spaz--flailing, poorly leveraged blows. Jennifer able to ride out the slapping barrage, covered up well to the bell, Gwynny all excited and rosy cheeked--corner calms her down reminding her “when you got her hurt, go to the body, don’t just wail away at her head. Place your shots baby--ata girl.”

R3: Nice shiner developing under Jlo’s left eye--she’s more cautious now, creeping forward, keeping her hands up, bobbing and weaving Paltrow’s pushy, but effective stick. Interesting adjustments--Lopez able to work her way inside and deploy her hook to Paltrow’s creamy right flank, but the slower pace allows Gwyneth to play tall woman’s punch n’ clutch. Sporadic stop and go action--Jen forced to negotiate Paltrow’s jab and straight right hand, Gwyn forced to clinch when Lopez gets inside, tieing up before hooks can land in abundance.


R4: Slow, thinking man’s pace lays to Gwyneth’s strengths--she starts to steer Jen with the stick midring, stepping left away from the hook and adding a third ingredient; the left uppercut, Lopez doing a good job of weaving jab and bobbing right hand, but she’s there for Gwynny’s stiff, but determined left uppie--swishy 3 punch combos have Lopez backing off and she doesn’t fight well in retreat. Midway through, Lopez dipping, bending at the waist--Gwynny misses the jab/right, but that left uppie picks up the Lopez chin, stunning Jennifer--Paltrow able to reload and drop a juicy right cross on the jaw that ROLLS LOPEZ TO HER BACK! Crowd screaming to its feet at the unlikely sight--Paltrow on the verge of another wild upset--Lopez reeling, clutching the top ropes as she takes a woozy 8 and ON COMETH GWYNETH! Paltrow on clean up, once again not as effective--trying to go body, but she’s just patting at Jen’s ribs, not really getting hips and back into these shots. Lopez crossing her arms, bobbing at the waist, even clinching a little--gets out of the round in shock, but still serviceable--Paltrow’s just not  finisher at this point in her career.

R5: Having got Jennifer’s respect, Gwynny P can play punch n’ clutch, bogging powerful, compact Latina down in a series of stop and go collisions ending in greasy blonde embraces. Lopez squirmy, frustrated--having trouble making up ground on the cards through 5.

R6: Gwyneth getting the fight she wants due to her ability to urt Jennifer. Stiff blonde boxer upright, shoving out the jab, working on Lopez’s swollen left eye, circling clockwise away from the hook and keeping her back off the ropes. Lopez moving her head, trying to stay low--slipping a lot of Paltrow shots, but shorter Latina having trouble getting to Gwyneth’s chest and sustaining output. Both land, neither hurt and Paltrow’s dictating the tenor of this bout.

R7: Lopez unpacking her own jab, poking it stubby out of her crouch, unnerving Paltrow, messing up her feet--Jlo able to put 2 and 3 punches together as she comes forward, stays clear of clinches, Lopez rings Gwynny up with a blunt right hand on the face, following up with a swift hook to the liver in the first minute--Gwynny minces away from the shot, elbows down, lips a-quiver, Middle minute--Lopez gets Paltrow’s back to the ropes for the first time, worries her up top with short, banging rights against the guard, then dig-dig-DIGGING downstairs that Mexican hook. Paltrow shaking like she’s caught in a paint-can mixer, cringing forward, clinching for breaks--Lopez finally able to smoke that body and she’s hurting Gwyneth with very firm connect. Shutout Lopez--she’s busted up, but has plenty left in the tank. Paltrow rocking gently on her stool, hugging tender torso during the break as corner tries to prop up her crumbling ego.

R8: Gwyneth in full, often panicky retreat--Lopez marching forward, asometimes forced to hop to keep pace. A hurt, banged up Paltrow is not a thinking Paltrow--she’s pulling straight back, turning away from shots, looking increasingly amateurish--Lopez able to push her ropeside and get hips behind murderous left hooks amidships, hunting liver with every stroke. Paltrow’s legs look sea-sick--she’s draping off Jen’s neck, reaching around her stocky torso, trying to bog this thing down--Lopez just smearing blonde along the ropes and pounding away, Final minute--Jlo shows Gwynny how to finish strong--pushing blonde off, banging her waist with rich, thick right/lefts, twisting up top to bite her hook off Paltrow’s jaw. Crowd oohing and aahing at the connects--credit Gwyneth for showing some fortitude--she doesn’t go down under the worst pounding of her fledgling career.

R9: Pendulum swings back to blonde, courtesy Latina recklessness. Lopez breezing in, looking to close the show, loading up hooks and Paltrow hopping forward, pat-slapping hooks against Lopez’s ribcage--Jennifer able to shake off the power, rotate her torso low and come back with thumping wide shots to either Paltrow flank late. Jennifer stung, but confident--Gwyneth doesn’t have the pop she did earlier, Lopez is taking it well and getting her opportunities inside.

R10: Corner tells Gwyneth to stick and move--just run away and hide on the cards: works in theory, blonde legs too rattled at the point to execute--Lopez ON Paltrow, butting up with her left shoulder then unleashing hellish hooks waist and liver--poor Paltrow doubling up, gurgling in pain. All Jen on Gwyn, Latina bludgeoning away with short, pounding rights chest and skull, going body with withering hookwork--Paltrow windblown to the ropes, sobbing, gloves at her temples as she tries to roll the incoming. Lopez with shaving right, straightens Paltrow upo and the BOOMING hook catches all of Gwynny P’s jaw. DOWN GOES GWYNETH! Paltrow dropped in a steaming pile of blonde, crumpled, suddenly switched off at Jennifer’s feet--Lopez straightens, chest heaving, lips curled back as she glares down: KO10 Jennifer Lopez.

After: Crowd on it’s feet for a surprisingly entertaining contest--both girls benefiting from the rousing display. Gwyneth can carry her head high: leading on all cards, bamboozling and hurting Lopez with a plucky, even cheeky performance--Lopez bearing down, showing heart, getting to her girl late and finishing like champ to reel g in with the come-from-behind stop.

Reposted by Archer 9/27/10.