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16 October 2010 Penelope Cruz vs Jen England

Page history last edited by Archer844 13 years, 3 months ago

Posted by for simguy on 10/16/2010, 6:25 am

At Bantam (result: simguy/words: simgrrl)

Before: Jen England, a 5'7" blond fitness model from Michigan, has hooked a whale tonight in Penelope Cruz; the Oscar winning actress and gorgeous European 'A-list' personality! There's no doubt Cruz will be - by far - the biggest and best known name on England's rather short resume. Experts, however, are scratching their heads; wondering what Cruz' management (to use the term loosely) were thinking. England is not only taller, she's a full lightweight; a stunt woman; a fitness competitor; and a wrestler who almost made the WWE roster in 2006 (losing the Diva Search final to Layla El.)

"They may be 'roughly' the same height," Jenny McCarthy sniffed in prefight commentary for Playboy TV. "Jen IS 'only 2 inches taller'...but Penelope's freakin' tiny! She gets outmuscled by big bantams and even some flyweights. Look, I know for a fact," J-Mac pontificated without revealing her source, "the only reason this fight got done is because of a back room deal Ginny cut for the Academy. Down the road something will happen with Empire Boxing has everyone scratching their head - that's when we'll know what she got in exchange for throwing Penny to the wolves. I can't believe the FCBA sanctioned this fight, let alone that any reputable network would carry it," J-Mac said, apparently without realizing it was the company signing her paychecks that had bid for and won the rights to the Internationally televised spectacle.

Cruz desperately trying to resuscitate her boxing career now that she's got an Oscar to validate her acting one. At 36 y/o, Cruz is four years older than England and if time hasn't already run out on her, she can at least hear the clock ticking. Signing with a stable after all those years of independence shows she's serious about her boxing, but now she needs to start winning fights to open eyes if she wants to position herself for a title run.

One question is whether trying it as a bantam is the smart play. Cruz may be 5'5" but t she's a 'small' 5'5" and while she can handle a lot of flyweights, there aren't ANY lightweights we'd pay to see her in with - yet she goes and takes on a movie stuntwoman and fitness model who outweighs her by a good 10-15 pounds! Of course, Cruz and The Academy negotiated hard and got Empire to agree England would cut weight to get down to the 120 bantam limit, but even so, Jen will be the big woman in the ring by every objective measure.

Cruz has fought a lot more fights than England; against some tall opponents (Jordana Brewster, Hilarie Burton, Paris Hilton, Keira Knightley and Radha Mitchell) but never one so strong. Still, Cruz has a few advantages in addition to experience: she's quicker than England, and she's sharper, having fought more recently while Jen's still in the learning phase. Another thing Cruz has is that last week her stablemate Reese Witherspoon put up a good fight against a taller opponent - perhaps The Academy has figured out a way to neutralize height? Finally, there are questions about England's conditioning after dropping so much weight before this fight.

In fact, at the weigh-in this morning, Jen was still a pound and a half over and had to hit the sauna to drop an additional 24 ounces. Doesn't sound like much, but only time will tell if it matters!

Jen: puncher's pink bikini; curly blonde hair worn loose n' long; white runners/socks rolled down. Cruz: black bikini panties; sturdy underwire bra; black hair tugged back into a sassy ponytail; black high-tops. White gloves on both fighters.
During R1: Right off the opening bell, Jen England comes barreling across the ring and slams her shoulder into Cruz' chest, driving her back into her corner. Penelope ducking a straight right, slipping away along the ropes - breath coming in excitedly rapid pants - she spends most of the first minute 'running for her life' as England pursues like an avenging Valkyrie; long, wild, blond hair streaming out behind as she chases Cruz around the perimeter of the ring. Second minute, England slows and Penelope manages to settle down; turning to face the muscular blonde. Cruz breaking out her stick - the left jab snapping in Jen's face; buffeting her cheeks, nose and eyes as Cruz finally gets into a rhythm. Pene side-stepping smoothly; sticking her jab slick and turning Jen, rebuffing her advances. Final minute, another bull-like charge from England goes awry. Jen rushing in, gets lit up by smooth-stroking Cruz who uses England's own momentum against her; adding extra 'oomph' to Cruz' punching power. Cruz letting her hands go; lathering the groggy blonde whose back is on the ropes. Bell: England pushes Cruz off her, walks toward her corner. Stunning display of Cruz' veteran discipline - and an equally eye-opening demonstration of the powerfully strong legs of Jen England who, despite absorbing Cruz' best blows, never looked like she was close to going down! Round to Cruz, but narrowly.

R2: Same again! England out of her corner like a wild moose; spooking Cruz who again gets on her bicycle and pedals away as fast as little legs can carry her. Cruz too smart, too wily, to let herself get sucked into a gunslinging contest with the stronger blonde; Pene swallowing her pride and running; letting England spend herself punching empty air. Cruz slowly brings Jen to heel, however, using nimble, side-stepping, footwork; a very sound jab; and combinations. Penelope's left hook/straight right combo proving particularly effective as she goes to it often. Penelope salts the round away late when she appears to hurt England who covers up, earmuffing to allow Cruz to bang her mitts on Jen's hard, thick, torso - without visible effect - but it has the effect of suppressing blonde retaliation and Cruz manages to eke a second 1 pt. round.

R3: England again rampaging out of her corner! Cruz feints right, escapes left; leaving the big blonde to slam her fists on Cruz' turnbuckle pad in frustration! Cruz dancing easily away behind a firm defensive jab, circling right away from England's cocked-and-ready-to-fire right. Jen cuffing Penelope with her left, buffeting the lighter brunette from one foot to the other as Cruz scampers back out of range. CRUZ IS HURT! Jen finally manages to corner Cruz and land to her chin - an innocent looking little hook that suddenly has Cruz stepping in fence post holes! England rushes in to finish but Penelope quickly wraps her up in an embrace; clinching while Jen plugs away at the brunette's slim waist and ribs. Jen scuffing up Cruz' countenance with malice; Cruz getting beat pillar to post, using the referee as refuge, ducking behind him whenever she's in trouble and a couple of times the wild-swinging blonde cuffs the arbitrator in the arm or shoulder when Cruz darts out of sight just in the nick of time. When Penelope's not running or hiding, she's hanging on for dear life and - once - she even shoves the referee into England when it appears she's about to be cornered. Ref turns to warn her and Cruz beats him to it, yelling through her mouthpiece at him to 'Stay out of my way'. The properly cowed referee nods as if in apology and waves them back together. Cruz getting cornered again when the referee skips away just as she ducks behind him and England batters her above her own corner to the bell; Penelope grimly hanging on around Jen's waist; her head tucked protectively in Jen's right armpit. It's 10-8 without a knockdown for England who - just like that - evens up the fight on the scorecards!

R4: England rushes out once more, intent on putting an end to Cruz' night but she slips a looping England right - and digs a hard left into the front of the blonde's pink bikini bottom to cramp her up! JEN'S HURT! Cruz with a left hook/right cross combo gets England earmuffing; ducking; bobbing and weaving. Cruz gathers her blonde up under the elbows and drives her back onto ropes; getting all big-girl on her blonde lightweight. Jen in tears has been badly fouled as Cruz squares up, beating blonde with both hands. Little brunette banger letting her hands go; piston-punching; criss-cross punching; most just slapping lather - but all very frisky and busy. Jen's keeping a tight defense; covering up; weathering it, not opening herself by punching back AND THE REF STEPS IN! Holy cow! It's a TKO4 Penelope Cruz!!

After: England spits her mouthpiece in the referee's face as she starts screaming at him; taking 'issue' with him for stopping the fight. "I was protecting myself, you idiot! I wasn't hurt; I wasn't in trouble; my gloves were up; I was blocking her punches. What fight were you watching, you hack?"
Jen stomps angrily around the ring, berating the referee and pleading with the ringside judges - all to no avail. It's a controversial stoppage for sure - England clearly thinking she was well able to continue but Cruz really sold her finishing flurry in the manner of Cameron Diaz; bamboozling a referee who was perhaps a bit too wary of the FCBA directive on 'protecting fighters' and not as much on 'letting 'em sort it out themselves.'

Unless you're Jen England (or her management) it's hard to find fault when a referee errs on the side of caution instead of letting a one-sided beating continue until somebody gets seriously injured. It's a fine line and - in this case - it's pretty clear England still had her wits about her - as shown by how quickly and how well-considered her argument when she jumped the referee seconds after he stopped it!

Cruz hanging in her corner until Jen finishes blowing off steam and calms down before heading over to make nice; recognizing England had cut a lot of weight just to get a big Hollywood, Oscar-winning, actress/mega-star, in the ring with her. Cruz arm around Jen's waist; their head's together; Penelope consoling Jen on a bad break.

"I hurt her? Yes I did," Cruz swears postfight. "Was she in trouble? Yes. But she wasn't defenseless either, and never to a point where I thought to look to the referee to protect her. She had a firm defensive stance and I didn't feel any give when I was hitting her. I was still worried about her countering. I understand why the ref stopped it and I'd like to say I agree with it, but I thought she was still dangerous and if he'd let it go on we may still be fighting. She's got a hard body and while she's not slick and nifty like some, she's a lot of woman for a little girl like me to handle."

England still huffing and puffing afterward, but makes a point of saying there's no "hard feelings" toward Cruz. "Yep," she answers when asked if Cruz' punch was low, "It was indeed low, but I didn't think then, and I don't think now, it was deliberate. She's shorter and was ducking in her crouch. Maybe I was a little upright at the wrong time, but whatever happened I don't think she intended it; she's not that kind of fighter - unlike Nolin, for one. And even if it was on purpose, it still didn't hurt me enough to stop the fight. Monica and the girls told me to let it go and I will, but I wish the FCBA would do something about the refs. They stop some fights too early and others let go too long; there's no consistency. But maybe it's just the roll of the dice or something. Maybe next time, things go my way and someone else will be crying about 'being robbed' so I should probably just shut up and get busy preparing for my next fight."