JMD (“JUGGS OF MASS DESTRUCTION”) BOUT

Part 1:

Posted by Simguy on 1/6/2007, 6:36 am.

Before: “When I took ‘Dukes’ away from Britney,” Simpson explains in preflight, “that was Spears waving the white flag as far as competing with me outside the ring went. From then on, it’s been all me, all the time: the only time we ever hear about Britney is when she’s dropping her kid on its head or showing off her privates in public. But even though I’ve totally crushed Britney in the entertainment world, there’s still a little work to be done inside the ring. She’s finally coming at me JMD and I couldn’t be happier. Now I’ll get to complete my life’s work: tearing down Britney Spears Inc!” Spears stoic throughout the assault--she’s used to savage public attacks from her enemies--Simpson’s rhetoric comes as no surprise. “Same old Jessica,” Britney says sympathetically. “Still obsessed with me. Still hating. I’m going to look forward to this, because JMD is where Jessica lives--it’s the heart and soul of Jessica Simpson Inc. beating her JMD is going to crush her, and for, once, I’m not going to pretend that isn’t what I want. I’ve had a tough couple of years and nobody’s enjoyed it as much as Simpson: now it’s my turn.” Britney in lime green bikini, white gloves--Jessica in pink “Dukes” bikini (the one Spears could have had) white gloves.

During R1: Jess hurtling into Brit at the open--flailing, batting rights and lefts bouncing off Spears’ head and shoulders. Brit spluttering, turning her head to the right while extending her left arm out straight--li’l Simpsy swinging away fat to back, tummy as Spears edges sideways to ropes. Simps driving in headlong, taking Britney heavily in the belly with a deep shoulder-block/tackle--blondes bounce off ropes, tumble all a-jiggle to canvas as crowd roars I approval. Spears to all fours, shaking her head, eyes wide: Jessica pounces on Britney’s back, threading the left arm around Spears throat in a blatant choke! Britney gasping, pitching to her right--girls roll to canvas with Jess in her back, underneath--her tummy pressed hot against Britney’s back. Jessi’s still choking her foe AND now reflexively scissoring up her waist. JESSICA’S PANCAKING BRITNEY’S BREASTS! Simpsy grinning maniacally --choking with her left arm while batting the right arm in flapping motion over Spears’ right shoulder, across Britney’s heaving wrack--meaty smacks of forearm on jug sound out before ref can tug ‘em up, pry ‘em apart and read ’em the riot act. Heaving chests, glaring eyes--Britney obviously reeling psychologically as Jessica welcomes her to the whacky world of mindless JMD brawling.

R2: Jessica pouring into Britney full-bore-Spears butt-in ropes, grimacing as Simpsy lands thudding leather tummy, tits and ribs. Britney reaching for Jess, riding the left arm around Simpsy’s head and pulling her in close--warm, wriggling clinches evolve as Jess squirms to tuck leather into jug or tummy from inside the grasp. Murky stuff--Britney pulling at Jess, tieing her up, holding and hitting her cute: Simpsy gritting teeth, straining to push at Britney’s rounded arms; lowering her head and pumping two-handed to paunch until Spears can wrap up. Britney getting the better of it, clouting and cuffing Simpson’s face in tight, then usually smothering the receipt--but down the stretch, Jessica’s constant press pays off. Brit riding her forearms on Jessi’s back, pushes Simpsy’s head down as Jessica’s punching to the body--Krusher inadvertently chugs away low, burying a series of plugging lefts and rights to Britney’s tanned thighs/green trunks. Bleat of pain, Britney--eyes closed, eyebrows high as she cries out: Jessi erupts out of the crouch a big booming hook/right! Spears chin-checked, draping helpless against ropes: SIMPSY ROMPS TO JUGG! Crowd roaring to its feet and saluting as Jessica hammers FURIOUSLY at Britney’s plump rack--glorious hup-hup-hup assault flattens and jostles those beauties as poor Spears is reeling hurt. Bell: Simpsy in there scrubbing--putting as much forearm as leather onto Britney’s bulging hooters--ref finally pulls snarling little vixen off her prey as tears push down Britney’s cheeks.

R3: Britney slouching on ropes again--Simpson pushing in head, shoulders, elbows to pry open the defences so shoving punches can land. Spears with a cramped, un happy expression: Jessica squirming all over Brit, making it hard to breath--stamping and jostling and bullying. Brit with a measure of control via the left arm rising over Jessi’s right shoulder--Spears able to tuck short right uppercuts to chin or jug while pulling Jessi into blows, effectively snuggling up as part of the punching action. Simpsy mindlessly pushing blind rights and lefts into Britney’s tanned paunch and ribs, wriggling her head in on Brit’s chest while pushing at Brit’s arms or hips, This is Spears’ fight: she’s smothering much of Jessica’s work, fitting in sneaky right hands and muscling the smaller woman. Jessica huffing and puffing, working hard, but getting bogged down, roughed up in the third.

R4: Jessica plows forward: Britney easing into ropes, now more and more comfortable managing the Simpson pressure. Britney accepting jess onto her chest--left arm guiding Simpsy in, then holding her fast: Jessica’s cheek presses warm against Brit’s upper chest in sticky-close action, Simpson’s curvy little legs stamping, backside trembling--she’s pushing into Britney well, but it’s not translating into useful punching room as Spears expertly clinches, muscles, and gets the better of it. Brit able to tuck in little rights to the hip and tummy while holding; Brit able to jam righty to jug or cuff Simpsy’s face, also while holding. Simpsy increasingly frustrated and worn down--has some success throwing forearms in tight against Britney’s tummy--but it’s JESSICA drawing Warnings from a vigilant ref. Bell: Jessica looking disheveled--hair all fluffed up, cheeks flushed--Britney purses her lips at her foe while making taunting eye contact.

Simpson/Spears JMD conc.

Posted by Simguy on 1/6/2007, 8:37 am.

R5: Right uppercut off the ropes, Britney: Jessica clipped HARD, tottering on her right foot a moment, then staggering backward forlorn--Spears steps forward for the first time tonight. Britney wading in--throwing thick right hands at Jessica’s paunch, coming back cudgeling hooks on the ear--Simpsy groggily stamping back on her heels, soaking wallop, Midring, Jessica hurt, drops her right foot back, pops hips-right and lifts a glorious swinging hook into Britney’s trunks, sending ripples of hurt down Spears’ thighs as Brit shudders to a halt. Spears debilitated tries a pushy little right hand as Simpsy’s committing 100% to a crashing overhand right to the chin--HEAD SWIVEL BRITNEY as Simpsy wins the race, Spears tottering to her right, stumbles to all fours--Simpson pours in off the Spears left flank--TACKLING BRITNEY TO THE CANVAS! Spears groaning--propping on forearms/chest as her lower body is twisted onto the right hip: Simpsy draped over top Brit’s left hip, tongue pink between her lips as she PUMPS AWAY RGHTY! Savage, digging, jackhammer rights jam away tummy and trunks: poor Britney paralyzed--bleating in shellshocked pain as Simpson rampages. Spears’ full, tanned left thigh comes up to protect ransacked tummy: Jessica pushes it away with the back of her right hand, then gets back to business. The beefy spank of it! Just a thick, moist smacking sound as Jess gets her weight on Brit and pounds away. Ref pulls snarling Jess off and walks her back: Britney ACHY to all fours, head bowed--cringing and reeling as she gets to her feet. Britney awestruck, tugging her battered tummy as she lolls against the ropes--clearly not hearing the ref’s 8 count and HERE COMES SIMPSY! Jessica unleashing in a blonde blur--teeth bared, eyes blazing as she HAMMERS Britney’s stupendous rack. Oh the humanity! Spears sitting in a stupor on the middle strand--helpless, out of it-Jessica POURING it to jug--legs set wide, shoulders and arms working like pistons to shove straight-jamming rights and lefts into Britney-meat, AND THE REF STEPS IN! Spears breaking down into tears of shame as the man hugs her to safety--TKO5 Jessica Simpson!

After: Rarely has a defeat been so utterly demoralizing to a vixen; rarely has victory been so uplifting to a victrix--Simpsy leaping into the arms of assembled Krushers and exulting in her finest moment as a professional prizefighter--”MY JUGS STOPPED HER JUGS!!!” squeals the excited little brawler, Spears hugging her battered goods, blubbering and sniveling--beaten and stopped by Jessica Simpson! It just can’t be happening.

And it only gets worse.

Simpsy pushing her way into the BSE corner, shoving groggy Brit back hard to turnbuckle: tidy right hand tucks in deep to tummy as Simpsy leans in close--Jessi’s fist pale and hard against Spears’ trembling brown belly. “UHHHPP!” Brit jerks forward--Simpsy snuggles her up tight: left arm strong behind the neck, that left hand gripping firm right bicep as tight hand clenches a handful of curly blonde Spears-locks, Jessica just beaming--giving Britney a rough side to side shake--Simpsy stepping back all quivering pink buttocks as she struggles with the weight, Crowd roaring: there’s DanI Fishel standing, grinning, clapping; there’s Jessica Alba drinking in the sight, savoring Britney’s humiliation; there’s Neve making smug, snide comments to Allison Mack; Christina Milian, Kelly Carlson, Holly Valance and other pop tarts gloating bravely from a distance.

Jessica’s right shoulder against ropes, (Spears left side against ‘em)--good long smother has Spears’ legs falling: Jessi lets Brit fall to all fours, Simpsy: little hard-working strut in Britney’s vicinity--hands out to either side in a “It’s so easy” gesture--then she stops, hands on hips to grin down at demoralized Britney. Spears left hand fumbling at the ropes--she rises to her knees, face all shiny and damp--she wipes her lips with the back of her right hand, Jessi eases in, takes a careful right hand fistful of hair close to the hairline, pulling Britney slowly, making Spears crawl on her knees with a groggy look of discomfort. “Up!” Simpsy chirps, pulling Britney’s hair: Spears slowly rises, hands clutching at Jessica’s mean grip, Licking her lips, Jessica folds Britney back into the wam confines of Double D Prison--Spears pushing sadly at her girl’s hips.

More punishment for Britney--Jessica stepping backward carefully, easing herself into turnbuckles for support, smiling with unspeakable satisfaction at Spears muffled whimpers and failing strength. Once again, Britney’s legs start to give way: Jessica releases, reclines with arms outstretched on ropes as Spears droops to all fours, then sits back on her haunches with a dazed, sleepy expression, Britney’s hair plastered wet to sides of her face, in her mouth; lips parted, eyes closed, eyebrows high; sweat dampened skin shines white under hot overhead lamps.

Jessica grinning maliciously, stops at the waist to engulf Britney’s unresisting face in jug once again, bearing Spears to her back with Simpsy’s hot tummy on top, Fresh snuggling--Jessica’s head/hair mopping the canvas near the top of Britney’s skull--Jessica’s sturdy legs folded up under her so she’s on her haunches, pressing weight heavily against Britney’s upper torso.

Britney’s knees rise, flop slowly side to side.

Britney’s hands push weak at Jessi’s ribs, or hig the smaller girl around the back to no avail.

Britney doesn’t tap: she knows Jessica won’t have it.

Britney’s legs relax eventually, spreading out on the canvas. The jug-put sends an unspeakable shudder through Jessica’s body--she wriggles with the ecstasy of it, clutching Britney the tighter.

Finally--officials move in as Jessica’s starting to take extra. Simpson clings to Britney as though spears were a prized possession: strong men have to pull hard at those firm brown arms to pull Jessica away.

Britney on her back, hands at her sides, palms up. Jessica jumping heavily ion the spot (jugs a-tossin’), stomp-landing near Spears: the ring vibrations jostle the unconscious beauty just a little bit.

Reposted by Archer 11/30/10.