Posted by Simguy in 6/29/2002, 10:53 am.

Before: Dunst loud and proud in prefight, “The battle between me and Claire OUTSIDE of the ring is over. She wishes she had the kind of career Ai do, I want to make an art film--I went a critics award, u ant to make a blockbuster, I get “Spider Man”. Claire goes to Yale--I mean, what was she--one of the 50 most beautiful people in 1982? Now that I’ve mopped her up at the box office, it’s time to start hammering it home--Kirsten Dunst is comin’ baby!”

Danes on top of the world hese days with an upset victory over Britney Spears, strong performances against tough flyweight comp this year--personal victory over Dunst would be icing on the cake, “I’m glad she’s confident,” purrs Danes, “I love it when it’s over and they’re just staring around all bleak, wondering what happened, You only really get that when they’re confident.

Claire in black string bikini, Dunst in spidey-motif sports bra, navy bottoms.

During R1: Dunst pumping a mean stick early--keeping it on Claire as she slips low, tracking the blonde, just touching her in the shoulders and head no matter where she goes, Danes flustered and at he end f the first minute, Kirsten NAILS her a sharp right hand on the face, staggering Danes back several steps, Dunst with thumping follow up, jabbing to the chest and whistling over the top with sizzling rights--Claire in full retreat, rolling and weaving the incoming as Kirsten forces her ropeside. Bitter trading in the last minute as Claire digs in to avoid the shutout--blondes hammer away with loose limbed strokes up underneath, shaking each other in the torso as the ref jumps in after the bell.

R2: Danes finding her rhythm this round, flicking out the pesky stick, suddenly leading with stamping straight rights, dragging that front foot in a bucket as she wheels and dips around her foe. Dunst missing more often this round as she loads up, neglects the jab somewhat--Claire able to nibble belly and breasts, occasionally standing up into galloping flurries as Kirsten covers up.

R3: Kirsten regaining some discipline, knock, knock, knocking at Claire’s defense with a consistent yo-yo jab, keeping Danes on the defensive. Dunst utilizing roughhouse to good effect as well. Whenever Danes bends low at the waist--Dunst climbs aboard, pressing down on the girl’s back to push Claire to one knee. Whenever Dunst misses a right, she clinches, wrestling and pulling at Claire, holding and hitting, hitting on the break, Claire getting some nice lanky licks against Dunst’s ribcage--this is a close round, but Kirsten looks to be getting her way in chaotic action.

R4: Danes imposing order when she can beat Dunst to the jab, force Kirsten to cover up behind a high guard, then stick her in the body or between the gloves with straight rights.l Claire doing nice work off the pivot, finding a home for the whippy hook behind Kristen’s right elbow downstairs--snapping back Dunst’s face with several keen right hands up the middle.

R5: Claire imposes her will. Dunst missing over the top--Danes making her oat, slipping under the bigger blondes swings and raking Kirsten to the belly and jaw, Claire sensational in the middle minute roaming around Dunst, stepping in with lathering work to the waist, then galloping up into the breasts and teeth with churning lefts and rights from underneath. More than once, Dunst staggered onto her heels, face visibly discouraged as she can’t pull the trigger while Claire’s tattooing away. Danes completes the shutout--big breezy smile as she saunters away--Dunst with a busted up lower lip, shiny face, and throbbing ribs for her trouble.

R6: Kirsten comes back--Danes can’t bury this girl on the cards. Dunst with that business-like jab--Claire trying to get cute and getting thumped out of rhythm as Dunst spears it in. Kirsten still missing those sweeping right hands, but she’s recovering well, hoisting the come back hook solidly to Claire’s right side--Danes wincing, fading to the ropes as Dunst wlks her down this round.

R7: Dunst with a series of jolting overhand rights upo top, rising left hooks into the belly backs Danes to the ropes--Claire setting up ship with her supple shoulder turns, head movement as Kirsten squares away, cat and mouse develops as Dunst stays measured, nor wanting to overswing and give Claire her openings--Danes bobbing, leaning into the ropes, swaying forward to nudge her shoulder into Kirsten’s hips. Midway through a spitting series of jabs forces Claire to lay over on her right side--Dunst able to lean in on a crashing right cross to the ear, drapes Claire stunned against the ropes! Danes wide-eyed, hands cupped out front at chest height and Dunst swings in a clocking wide right hand, clouting Claire’s pretty face to the side and stiffening her up! Claire staring, helpless--Dunst stabilizing her prey with the left against the sternum, then leaning in with another shellacking right across the mouth--Danes tilting to her right, takes ANOTHER blasting right off her face before crashing to the mat. Comes back KO7 Kirsten Dunst--Claire Danes under the ropes, can’ get off her back.

After: Oh, the strutting glory of Kirsten Dunst! Dunst brings the D-Train to a shuddering halt, heaping in a for a rare KO against the elusive little blonde. Kirsten bubbly, fearless in post fight, “I told you! I told you--Danes had everyone fooled, but I knew she couldn’t last with me. Does “People” have a  ‘50 Most Beaten Up’ issue? I suspect Eliza’s pretty much the same product--I think I know hype when I see it--I’d love to expose her as well. I’ll probably help myself to a little Winona Ryder if she can make the weight and then the sky’s the limit. Rematch with Claire? You’d think being a Yale-y she’d be smart enough to figure out what would happen, but you never know. I’d love to flatten her gain--as many times as it take!”

Reposted by Archer 12/11/10