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23 December 2003 Charlotte Church vs Helen Flanagan

Page history last edited by Archer844 13 years, 1 month ago

Charlotte Church 2.jpg Helen Flanagan.jpg

Posted by Knowlesey on 12/23/2010, 10:04 am

Helen, the 21 year old actress who plays sexpot Rosie Webster in British soap Coronation Street, has been in Cardiff, Wales on a promotional shoot, and she is waiting impatiently for her car to take her to the railway station,

“Can’t wait to get out of this hellhole” she is barking into her mobile phone, “So many ugly people, and such a stupid way of speaking – you get a face full of spit every time the stupid bastards say anything!” Then, when a car draws up, she smirks, “At last! Yeah, well I’ll see you later, honey, the guy’s here to help me back to the train!”

But it isn’t her car at all! Out steps the feisty Welsh singer, Charlotte Church, who sneers at the young actress,

“Well now! Who’s this, then? A spoilt little BBU bantam – what you here for, then, b###h?”

The actress sneers,

“Not to be passing the time with you, that’s for sure! Now get away from me before people start thinking I know you! Yuck!”

Charlotte gets right in the younger girl’s face,

“Only thing you need know about me is that I’m the girl who’s gonna punch your ####in’ lights out, b###h! Punch ‘em out whenever I feel like it!”

Helen, cocky as ever, is unfazed, and sneers,

“Church – you don’t stand a chance! I’m the number 5 BBU bantamweight, and you aren’t even on our radar, so there’s no way we’ll ever fight each other!”

Out from the shadows steps Helen’s boxing mentor, Victoria Beckham, who shakes her head,

“Helen, be careful, babe! I wanted Charlotte in my team, but the others hate her so much they wouldn’t let me invite her. And, she’s in her home town so watch it!”

Still sneering, Helen responds quickly,

“Well, her home fans didn’t look to upset when Katy Perry beat the shit outa her, did they? Way I remember it, they were cheering the Yank – all over inside a round – embarrassing or what! Face it, cow, you’re all washed up!”

She looks at Victoria, who responds,

“Well, Charlotte, we accept your challenge. I have Helen’s boxing gear with me, of course, and we will see you in the ring tonight at 9 o’clock.”

To Church’s surprise Helen Flanagan is still smiling,

“Good! After the day I’ve had, I need to blow off steam – better take a good luck in the mirror before we fight, cow, ‘cos you’ll look well different by the time I’ve finished with you!”

9 o’clock at a Cardiff gym, in front of 100 invited guests, entertained by a couple of local amateur fights, ready now for this bantamweight matchup.

Helen is first up, looking fit and trim in white top and black pants, shadow boxing around the ring, and does not need to wait for her opponent for too long – in comes Charlotte, also looking good in blue, and she just glares at the actress.

The girls are ‘introduced’ by the referee, but there is clearly bad blood between them already, and they will not touch gloves, returning to their corners, both looking serious.

Round 1

It doesn’t take many seconds for Charlotte to land the first punch of the fight, nice left jab, but she then fields the next three, as Helen peppers her face with a quick combination. Church blinks, then smacks the actress with another left jab, jolting her head back sharply, following in with a right hook, and the younger girl loses balance slightly, her shoulder touching rope, she then gets a hard left right in the belly, and she is gasping, covering up as best she can while the Welsh girl batters her round the body, constantly gabbing, “C’mon English b###h – what you got?” All Helen can do at the moment is grunt as she absorbs the Welsh girl’s punishment, but she manages to turn her body and escape from the ropes, then jab Church’s face twice. Charlotte is slowing down at the end of the round, and Helen takes advantage, landing another couple of solid lefts to her face, then a right, and Church is the girl happier to hear the bell.

Close round – probably Charlotte’s

Round 2

Helen bounces out of her corner, and is quickly landing her left jab in Charlotte’s face again, her right cheek taking quite a thumping at this stage, but the Welsh girl stands her ground, then thuds her right hook into Helen’s ribcage, hearing the yelp she wanted, before following up with three good blows to the actress’s face, left, right, left – and she has her girl back on the ropes, but this time she’s looking for the face, not the body. Charlotte’s early blows to Helen’s head are blocked, so she thumps her hard in the shoulder, then again, and this stands the English girl up, face visible, Church quickly nagging that right hook to Flanagan’s mouth, then again, follows up with a left to the cheek, then stands back, allowing the younger girl off the ropes, but also giving the space for Charlotte to smash a right hand clean through Helen’s guard, exploding on her mouth and flooring her, the girl on her back, lips split open. Flanagan’s up at 8, but she is badly hurt, and is soon back in trouble, taking a drubbing to her body on the ropes until the bell sounds.

Charlotte’s round – massive!

Round 3

Slow off her stool, battered Helen is soon on the receiving end of another barrage of body punches, all hurting her now, her guard beginning to come down, her bruised face unprotected, and Charlotte takes advantage! Welsh girl just banging her big hooks into the young actresses face, and she goes down again, legs barely supporting her as she somehow gets back up at 7, and Charlotte hits her on the forehead with that straight right again, stunning her, exposing her chin, which Church crushes with her left uppercut, sending Helen back to the canvas, flat on her back, over and out!

Charlotte Church knocked Helen Flanagan out in round 3.

Charlotte is cruel to Helen after she has been revived, ripping her top off and marching her topless round the ring, then, sitting on her stool, with Helen kneeling before her, she slaps and batters those big tits with her bare hands, while poor Helen just sobs, wails and begs for mercy. Meanwhile a grinning Victoria Beckham looks on – this is why she wanted Charlotte Church in the BBU, and more of her girls might well live to regret her absence.