Posted by Simguy on 11/9/2007, 7:07 am.

Before: Disney fighters rolling off the assembly line these days--these two brash, young, sleek, sporty models--both claiming  to the best since Lohan; both can’t be right. “I’ll never be riled by a blonde,” Song says while twirling a finger in black curls, chewing gum in preflight. “I’ve been fighting and beating girls like Ashley my whole life to get where I am today, and that’s going to stop in the FCBA. We both knew this day was coming, but I know Ashley and I know that only one of us is truly ready. I’ll expose her as unfinished, and move on. That’s the only outcome I’ll accept.”

Tisdale pursing lips, referring to Song’s attitude, “On ‘Suite Life’, Brenda’s this big goof, but as soon as the director yells ‘cut’--she turns into Dragon-Girl. I’m sick of it--everyone I know is sick of it--and the best thing I can think to do about it is to give Brenda a terrible beating.”

Ashley in black bikini, boy cut bottoms/bra style top; small black workout gloves; black boxing boot to mid-calf with tassels, Song in vivid lemon yellow bikini; small work out gloves; boxing boots to mid-calf 9with tassels); hair in ponytail with ringlets framing face. Song giving Ashley Siamese-cat eyes during ring instructions, refusing to touch gloves despite ref’s clear orders.

During R1: Song lithe to midring--hands palm down, gently rising and falling in unison as Brenda steps-left, Song feints Ashley; rings her up a rigid right uppercut to chin. Tisdale startled, stamping: Song reloads, pivots-right, punches three stamping rights to blonde left ear and jaw line with an elastic, oily delivery. Tisdale stumbles away eyes wide, mouth open. Song snarling, scooting-stepping in close--she goes at Ashley’s face and raised guards with brish left/right criss-cross, tapping and scrubbing away as blonde tilts backward into ropes. Ash rides out the flurry, rolls her torso, ducks down, comes up hooking Asian ribs: Song backs off, spitting a nice covering jab to problematize Tisdale pursuit. Appreciative applause from the audience: Disney products always show polished skills and perky ferocity despite their lack of pro rounds. Rest of the way sees Tisdale inch forward behind a raised guard, looking for compact right/lefts to sleek Asian torso--Song slidestepping away, luring, trailing a broken wing in hopes of getting Ashley to commit. Brenda frequently reaching her left hand in to take a small-glove handful of Ashley’s waistband-front, tugging her forward and spinning her to earn barking ref’s reprimands. Song’s round, but her ribs are nice and pink: Tisdale got some scrubbing done.

R2: Song smooth to her right, feinting Ashley, stepping around her--Tisdale the more rigid fighter, dukes up at eyebrows, face tight with concentration. Song’s hands low when she’s outside--she’s bringing the jab off her hip to prod at Ashley’s defenses, fitting  in the odd straight right, then gliding away with her hands palm down and bobbing in mid-air. NAshley grimly walking Brena down, but tentative tummy--tapping at it, then scooting away--Brenda just trying to vex and harass here: mission accomplished. Down the stretch, Ashley, rushing up the middle: Song sidesteps, drops a jamming right in behind the left ear, puts Ashley wobbly butt. Rising, limber hook takes ash on her left eye; short, stubby right bounces off jaw--blonde’s feet get to stampin’ as she does a hurting pony-trot to ropes. Brenda jabbing to close, then scrubbing a furious shoe-shine across Ashley’s nubby  jugs: Tisdale crying out, crossing arms against her body as she sits into cables. Scrubbing action moves up to paste Ashley’s face: she covers up earmuff, turns her right side into ropes, cowering. Song unleashed: right hand pounds Tisdale in her lumbar; left hand smacks against trembling blonde belly; Ashley’s left knee jerks up on reflex as she leans against ropes, Song regroups by pushing both hands against Ashley’s left shoulder, then hooks her bin the ribcage. Steady stream of strafing lefts and rights now--Song teeth bared, eyes blazing--fists  straight and jamming, caroming off blonde’s skull and shoulder. Poor Ashley slowly turning to her right, now  facing into ropes, giving up her back as she covers up her head--SONG’S HOOKING ASHLEY! Terrible reefing left hands from behind, taking Ashley in her side and gut--Brenda’s tanned legs taut and set wide, buttocks jumping with he sudden violent output. Brenda with quick little two-hand pushes against Ashley’s slender, pale back to reset, then brunette ‘s in there hooking--right foot skidding up off canvas wit the effort. REF STEPS IN! Ashley giving up her back, not competing--official has no choice as delighted Brenda Song jogs away the TKO2 victrix.

After:” Tisdale in tears, alert and upright, but overwhelmed and badly beaten to the body, basically forced into submission by her pretty Asian tormentress.. More painful than the punches: Ashley blinking back tears, pouting as press surrounds a chirping Song in post fight, fawning over the newest Disney prodigy while forgetting her beaten opponent for the nonce. Song’s happy voice carries--Ashley can hear Brenda offering up headlines to “’Song Gongs Blonde!’” Brenda laughs, “or no, how ‘bout ‘A Song Sung Blue for Tisdale!” When Brenda poses for pictures--legs braced wide, hands on her hips, big brassy smile and coy winks, turning either shoulder into cameras---it’s too much for Ashley. Elisha Cuthbert coaxes the devastated ingénue away with “don’t look , Ash,” putting an arm around Tisdale’s shoulders, leading her away.

Just like I predicted,” Song gloats in post fight, eyes bright and dancing, “Ashley wasn’t ready and I pounced all over her. There’s nom limit to what U feel I can accomplish in this sport, I’ll rein in in Lindsay and Hayden and Vanessa and those girls, I’ll mop up sluts like Kris Cavallari and Bev Mitchell to sharpen up my blonde-hunting skills, maybe make a statement by trouncing M ish ‘has been’ Williams. You know, I’ll take a year to polish up, ramp my record up, and then I’ll drive up the rankings. Honestly, I don’t see anyone who can really give me trouble--I think the belts are just plums waiting for me to pick ‘em!”

Nothing like winning a debut in spectacular fashion to get an ingénues hopes up: pundits reserve judgement, even if Brenda doesn’t.

Reposted by Archer 1/24/11.