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13 January 2011 Mischa Barton vs Jill Wagner

Page history last edited by Archer844 13 years ago

Mischa Barton 2.jpg Jill Wagner 04.jpg

Posted by simguy on 1/13/2011, 10:28 am

Results by Simguy; Story by Bazz

BEFORE: Mischa preening in front of the flashing cameras standing with her legs crossed one in front of the other as if posing for a Hollywood premiere. “This is really a great time for me and the FCBA. I’m back after a hiatus and I’m ready to go. This Wagner girl is the perfect stepping stone up to that class of sporty lightweights where I belong. I’m 24 about the same age as when some of the top fighters in this league made their move like Amanda Righetti. It could be time for the likes of Durance and De La Garza to make room for me in the athletic lightweight department. So tonight’s the first step. I’ve got to get going.” Jill Wagner looks on wide eyed at the comments from her opponent. “So let me get this straight, you just put yourself in the same league as Righetti, Durance and Alana? Are you out of your mind?” Mischa continues her psychological assault of the Bazz fighter by choosing her uniform first, a Scottish national team blue bikini with white sneakers and blue pull up socks, hair loose and tangly. Meanwhile Jill Wagner decides to fight fire with fire and tops the O.C. alum with black lambskin hot pants and sports bra and knee high black boots, her hair in a tight ponytail. The standing room only crowd cheers and whistles loudly as Wagner’s athletic frame sashays into the ring drawing a smile from the brown haired Wipeout girl and a classic pretty girl pout from Barton.

R1: The two lightweights bounce out to the center of the ring and circle each other once before Wagner goes on the attack. A jab to the chin awakens Mischa to the reality of the situation and she gets on her bicycle to retreat but it’s a clumsy exercise with her legs all tangled. Wagner pounces on her with punishing shots to her body. Up against the ropes the crowd groans with the loud smacking noises Wagner’s connections are making. Barton is helpless and trying to hang on to the hard working Wagner who is attacking the gut, small breasts and everything in between with a flurry of punches. The ref breaks things up and moves the fighters to the middle of the ring. Once there Barton launches her own attack but Wagner easily dances away. Any Barton punches that land are weak and ineffective. There’s just no power generated from her hips and lower body with her legs so close together. Meanwhile Wagner dances around avoiding Barton with ease. The Bazz girl’s left jab is constantly snapping into the O.C. girl’s face and it’s driving her crazy. Yet every time she fights back with tepid punches and clumsy lunges, that only occasionally bounce harmlessly off the hard bodied Wagner, the Bazz girl shifts gears and punches to the body landing shots that make sonic boom like noises that echo throughout the arena. Mischa continues to try and catch Wagner but it’s like trying to chase her shadow. Wagner’s a ring mistress in leather dancing around her opponent with coordinated expertise that has become de rigueur with Bazz fight girls. Then with a slick step to the side Wagner slices a right between Mischa’s defenses catching some O.C. chin and leaving the pretty girl stunned. Big eyelashes flutter and the tall girl staggers backwards just as the bell rings. Barton’s corner people rush into the ring to collect their fighter. Wagner stomps back to her corner furious that she couldn’t drop the snarky O.C. girl in one. Still the round goes enormous for Wagner.

Wagner remains standing in her corner while Tanya Merryman sponges her girl’s head and face and gets some words to her between instructions from Pointy. In contrast all that is missing from the traumatic scene in Barton’s corner is a defibrillator as her corner people work furiously to get her ambulatory.

R2: The second round bell sounds and to everyone’s astonishment Mischa Barton charges out of her corner good to go. Unfortunately her resilience is met by more of the same. Jill Wagner’s agility and quickness begins right where it left off. It’s all jab, jab and hook or uppercut whichever Wagner chooses. The Bazz girl’s body shines with sweat and the crowd admires her as she moves about the ring with authority. Meanwhile it’s just more frustration for poor Mischa. She steps into Jill with a weak jab and a wild overhand follow up only to waltz into thin air as her athletic opponent dances away leaving her with painful shots to the body. The scenario plays out over and over and Mischa has wandered into a horrific version of Groundhog Day as her body gets punished over and over with no end in sight. Meanwhile the crowd begins to chant “Ole!” with each uncoordinated pass by the O.C. girl led by none other than The Wiz and his large steak and cheese eating contingent seated at ringside. Wagner moves to the center of the ring and to her credit Barton gamely follows. The two begin trading punches with Mischa’s continuing to bounce harmlessly off of Wagner. The O.C. girl figures what’s good for the goose is good for the gander and goes for Wagner’s body. Suddenly Wagner takes advantage throwing two lightening quick responses, a powerful head rattling jab to the face and an overhand right that catches Mischa’s chin. IT”S O.C. GIRL DOWN! Barton’s body crumples to the canvas like a game of Jenga. Wagner turns and walks away with her arms raised over her head. KO2 Jill Wagner in dominant fashion.

After: Wagner goes over and checks on Mischa as her handlers work to bring her back. O.C. Girl sits up and Jill touches gloves and exchanges smiles with Barton and claps along with the crowd as she is brought back to her corner. “You know there have been some good fighters that have done their time on the O.C. like Paula Trickey and our own Wilde Girl and then, of course, there’s Amanda Righetti, no more needs to be said there but this one not so much I guess. I have to give her credit though she never gave up and what she said in prefight was true but it was me she was talking about, “tonight’s the first step I’ve got to get going”. In the following days rumors run amok around the FCBA regarding Wagner sitting down with Poindexter Del Crunchy and demanding that her schedule become more ambitious or else. As if to further push the issue, talk swirls of Jill Wagner being the subject of Tess Valmore’s next