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20 February 2011 Title Ch Britney Spears vs Summer Glau

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 11 months ago

Britney Spears 10.jpg Summer Glau 04.jpg

UNIFIED BANTAMWEIGHT TITLE

Posted by simguy on 2/20/2011, 11:58 am

BEFORE: "Normally when I take on a girl like Britney, I wrap my legs around her and let her struggle herself to sleep," Summer grins in prefight. "Obviously, I won't be able to do that in this fight, but my guys're working hard on fight-planning the boxing equivalent. There's more than one way to win a fight guys - don't write me off just yet. Brit's big and beefy, but trust me: bigger and beefier have gone down before!" Spears poo-poohing the notion of a Summer Glau uprising: Champ's a vocal critic of her challenger coming in. "A fluke win over Serinda Swan?" Britney reminds the press. "I'm sorry, but that doesn't impress me. Summer's just too little - she's like a slender Jessica Alba, and that's not good enough. I'll get rid of her in two snips, and we'll bring somebody in who can really threaten me next time. Promise!" Summer in black bra style bikini (new photo shoot ref - worth chequing out); black gloves; long brown tangly curls. Britney in yellow bikini; black gloves; hair up in beach twist. Spears coming in a little chubby - making weight on her third attempt.

During R1: Legs, legs, legs: Summer spends 45 seconds running as Spears gives chase at first, then slows when she realizes there's no catching brunette gazelle. 1 minute mark - Glau curling in on Brit - lathering her brisk arm punches: Spears forms closed-stance, pointing left shoulder at Sum; tucking chin behind left shoulder; dangling the left at her side; right cocked at her chest, ready to counter Summer to sleep. Glau steps right - putting her behind Brit's left shoulder: brunette deploys vicious buggy-whip right hand to blonde left hip/back - then swat-hooks jug the left hand while disengaging. "Best-bits" punching strategy thus revealed: Summer hunting kidney and breast, victimizing Britney's closed stance with whippy vigor.

Britney en route to her stool at break, snarking at ref: "Hey: you gonna get her off my back, or what? Warn her."

Ref: "Protect yourself at all times, Brit."

Britney: "Bullshit: get her off my back."

R2: Similar arrangement...Spears pouncing early, but Summer simply denying contact, loping the perimeter. When Spears settles down - Summer attacks with slappy arm-punches designed to induce closed-stance in Brit: once Summer sees the closed-front, she can step right, get an angle on Brit's back, and strap her that buggy whip right hand. Spears frowning - grumpy from the whippy hits: Summer rotating counter-clockwise, constantly turning Britney's left flank, staying away from Brit's lethal counter right.

Summer on her stool: wiggling her shoulders as she sits there listening/hydrating - visibly excited to be executing well early.

R3: Withering buggywhip assault on Brit's left hip/lower back has her grimacing: Summer all bendy-backed as she leans in to lash home the licks. Wide, sidearm-whip left hooks take Britney in her left breast...freezing her position just long enough for Summer to disengage. On occasion, Spears will bull-rush Summer and penetrate successfully, but Glau cupping hands behind Spears neck, yanking her forward/spinning her around...ref barking warnings, but clever clinches helping to stall Britney on the inside.

R4: It's boiling down to Brit's closed stance vs Summer's lithe counterclockwise rotation and vicious buggywhip strapping making sure she's scoring and not just running. Spears bending at her waist, shuffling in her stance: looks like she's trying to time Summer, but can't quite find solution just yet. Bell: camera closes in on Brit's left hip/lower back - flesh is a bright sunburned pink, courtesy Summer's lashing right fist.

R5: Spears following Glau around - blonde girl vexed by slashing punches and disciplined circling...Summer simply refusing to cooperate with Britney on any level. Ref warning Summer about hitting Britney right hands in the back, but it's Brit's fault: closed stance exposing Spears as Summer slides-right. Successful penetrations by Britney inevitably controlled by neck-clasp tug-and-spin moves: Sum able to sling bigger girl around and escape before Spears can impose beef. Ref not a fan of the maneuver - telling Summer at the break: "Stay off her neck, Sum - man, I mean it."

R6: Simple solution for Brit: up-jab off the hip sorts out Summer's tits, prevents her from potshotting via those whippy right/lefts. Sum circling, knows she's got some points built up: she's willing to burn some time with her legs.

R7: Both girls enjoying moments. Summer still loving the buggywhip right in Britney's back - plus the sidearm left swatting left tit. Sum jabbing Brit's presented left flank - just touching the hip or tit while rotating clockwise...Glau moving to her left just to shake pursuit so she can resume counter-clockwise orbit. Brit's up jab heavy in Glau's chest or tummy...and when Spears doubles it, she can actually chase Summer out of set positions. But basic ring-control belongs to Summer and her legs...she's initiating, she's dictating terms and getting the extra touches through 7. During break, Britney Spears sits sulking on her stool as her trainer reads her the riot act:
Trainer: "Quit waiting on her, baby - why you so sluggish? Be first; get on that, baby, you got to get on that and work!"
Britney: "She's running!"
Trainer: "Then stop her from running. Pound her ribs, kill those legs. She can't take more'n two or three good hits, Brit."
Britney: "She's not even fighting..."

On and on: Brit not hearing it from her guy; trainer not getting through to his frustrated charge.

R8: Brit wincing, arching her back after absorbing her umpteenth buggy-whip above her hip...big blonde starting to show signs of wear. Spears changes tack, heads to ropes, sets up pocket with a peek-a-boo front: Summer loping cautiously forward for the fight's first set-piece siege. Sum: stoops, reaches in a tummy jab "PAK!"; slide-stepping back out of range. Brit: back on ropes, hands in peek-a-boo...she's trying to time Summer as Glau cautiously circles back in, feints, touches jab-to-tummy then weaves away. Cat and mouse action - hardly any damage done, but Britney's giving up audible tummy touches without charging rent. Seconds left...Summer feints, then slap-chops Britney's breasts a quick left/right...Glau dancing back after the pesky jug-mugging, her eyes bright, hands up in the air to signify "touchdown!" as Brit can only seethe in response. Bell: Britney disgusted with Summer, giving her a withering look; Glau upbeat, unruffled...she can't be shamed into reducing the pocket against the sport's best counter-puncher.

Glau: taking on water on her stool, speaking in between gulps: "(glug)...I took her jugs...(glug-glug)...at the bell there...(glug)...like punching a pound of hamburger..."

Trainer: "Good girl. Shush now: breathe."

R9: Spears visibly frustrated...Summer all lithe and bendy outside, roaming to her right, feinting Spears, darting in via buggywhip right/whiplash left. Sum's punches sting, but Britney essentially OK - she just can't get better terms, following and turning in closed-stance as Sum's legs dictate. Glau frequently warned when her buggywhip rights catch too much of Briteny's back - or even drift low enough to clap her in the ass. Glau not trying to foul Britney, but she's not exactly laying off either. Round ends as it began: Sum feints; leans in via buggywhip right to Britney's kidney; lashes wide left to Brit's left tit; eases weight to back (right) leg and pivots counterclockwise as Brit sulks in sluggish pursuit. Bell: Britney disgusted - pushing Summer in anger; Glau turns away, refusing to respond or be goaded into rash action.

R10: Sum feints, treats herself to Britney's lower back via buggywhip right hand to back, hops to the right all smug. Spears turning, tracking...she slops the left off her thigh, loops it wide, catching Summer on the mouth hard enough to startle her. Spears quick-steps into position, sweeps a wide right to chin as Glau's trying to scamper away: SUMMER GOES DOWN! Glau blown to her back, suddenly wide-eyed and loopy: she's up at 8, but her legs look shabby for the first time tonight. Deep breath Britney Spears: she wades in after Glau's 8 count, looking to close the show. Hook taks Summer in her ribs, shaking her: she clinches Britney head-and-left-arm, laying back on ropes with Brit pulled in close. Ref's break: Brit pushed back, but she's quickly at Summer with a hacking right; Glau rolling in the pocket, taking the blow in her flank, but coming back up to clinch. That's the way of it - Britney with no choice but to go big or go home, swinging for the fences here: Summer bendy in the pocket, rolling with the haymakers and clinching like a squid. Bell: Summer shaken, but unbroken...she's just lifted the belts from Britney Spears via UD10 wide.

After: Spears throwing her hands in disgust at the decision - "best-bits" punching did nibble and sting her, but she's essentially unhurt. Glau similarly unblemished despite the rocky 10th: too little too late for a big blonde champion who simply didn't take the threat of slender Summer Glau seriously. "I knew when Britney came in porky that I had a chance," Summer beams in postfight. "She didn't want to work. She likes it when the fight comes to her, and I wouldn't give her that - I was not going to step-to Britney and trade with her. I was prepared to give away minutes if I had to, but she got pretty discouraged early in the rounds - I never really had to forfeit points because she didn't want to hustle. You know - the FCBA to me is basically a struggle between the beefy and the sleek, and the sleek won a tremendous victory tonight. She can rag on me all she wants for not fighting, but she's all pink and sore, and I've got belts, so I guess I fought plenty tonight!" In days to follow, Britney and BLONDE! Magazine will blast Summer - her evasive tactics, her holding, her fouling; the FCBA head office for legitimizing Glau's challenge; the referee for not disqualifying Sum, and the judges for rewarding her running. Summer will retaliate with an article in Celebrity Ring entitled (brazenly) "My Punches Made Britney Weak and Sluggish!" Clearly - this isn't going away anytime soon