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9 April 2011 Neve Campbell vs Alanis Morissette

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 9 months ago

Neve Campbell 07.jpg Alanis Morissette.jpg

Bantam Bash at the Asylum Arena (Philadelphia, Pennyslvania)

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on 4/9/2011, 8:13 am

BEFORE:

"The fact is," Alanis says, smiling smugly, "Neve Campbell has had an FCBA career because I ALLOWED it. I've always been the bigger star. I've always been the better fighter. But, I decided early on not to deal with the politics of the FCBA. I didn't want to go around begging for management and having to kiss *ss to get fights as an indie until that happened...you know, like Neve did. I decided I'd rather fight in Canada, go to Europe every so often, and do my own thing. So, instead of strangling Neve's career in the cradle, I let happen. Maybe that was a mistake. Because all these years after I proved my superiority, she still can't accept it. But she knows. Otherwise, why has she never stepped in the ring with me again since, even though we've done some of the same shows in Canada? Because I'm the girl that made her QUIT. And she knows that I know that deep down inside, that's what she is...a quitter. Just hit her enough, and she'll give up. Just like she did the last time we fought. Right, Neve? See you out there!"

Neve stares at the camera, expressionless. She takes a breath, as if ready to begin speaking, then simply turns and walks out of camera range.

Alanis enters the ring first, wearing a black bikini top and matching shorts to "You Learn." Neve follows in a blue and white striped bikini top and blue shorts. Her entrance music is Nazareth's "Expect No Mercy."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Well, the last match may not have been personal, Mac, but this one certainly IS. Gotta make Neve the favorite here if for no other reason than Alanis hasn't had an FCBA fight since 1999..."

McCarthy: "And in THAT one, she beat Campbell. I've seen tape of Alanis fighting in Canada. She's good enough to beat Campbell and I think she will!"

O'Dell: "Well, we're about to find out! Here we go! Neve moving right in tight as usual and Alanis willing to stay in there with her, Mac. Not looking to get distance. Willing to bump shoulders and trade hooks. Not the way to fight Neve, I think..."

McCarthy: "Well, I did it..."

O'Dell: "How'd that work out for you, Mac?"

McCarthy: "What? Shut up and call the fight!"

O'Dell(laughing): "This is how she talks to a Hall of Famer! And you and I are going to talk more about how you allegedly 'retired me', too. Anyway, lots of grinding going on inside. Both brunettes getting some body work done here, but Neve's getting the better of it. And that's the first. Goes to Campbell."

McCarthy: "Check the replay here. Lots of ugly inside stuff. No class at all. Not a surprise where Neve is concerned..."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Back to live action now, though this looks just like the replay. The two girls tummy to tummy, shoulder to shoulder, bumping and slugging. Looking to work the body. Not a lot of head hunting going on."

McCarthy: "See, Alanis is perfectly comfortable in there and it doesn't surprise me. I watched a lot of tape on her before this fight, and she likes to bang in the trenches!"

O'Dell: "See, this is why you're the best color babe in the business, Mac! You do your homework!"

McCarthy: "Both girls getting plenty of work in here. Banging away right to the bell as the referee separates them. Close round, but I think Campbell was landing the heavier stuff. Gotta give it to her."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "And these two are right back at it! There's nothing at all artistic about this. This is grinding, bumping, slugging inside..."

McCarthy: "Unskilled brawling. Typical of Campbell..."

O'Dell: "This from the girl who does an annual Pub Brawl..."

McCarthy: "That's DIFFERENT!"

O'Dell: "How so?"

McCarthy: "Because it takes place IN A PUB!"

O'Dell: "Point taken. And points being scored in the ring by Alanis here. She's not backing up a step. Slugging in there with Neve, forehead to forehead. Wouldn't think there'd be much percentage in it, but it seems to be working here in the third. There's the bell, and I've got that one for Morissette!"

McCarthy: "Close, but I think so, too. Let's check a replay here of Alanis working to the body. Again, not a lot of head hunting right now, just enough to keep the hands up. The rest is all nasty body work."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "And we're back in action and back to work on the inside for the two Canadian brunettes. Neve with nice left to the head there...OH! DOWN GOES ALANIS! HOOK TO THE LIVER, MAC, AND MORISSETTE IS DOWN!"

McCarthy: "Lucky punch!"

O'Dell: "Lucky or not it was effective. Alanis up at eight but she's hurting and here comes Neve! Driving the singer back into the ropes and going to work. Hammering away at the kidneys, banging hooks behind the elbows, working those ribs. Alanis trying to cover up, clinch, anything to slow Campbell down, but Neve's a machine right now. Good right to the chin hurts Alanis again. Morissette wobbles and Neve goes back to the body, slamming in those hooks as the bell sounds. Big round Neve Campbell!"

McCarthy: "Here's the big punch. Campbell sets Alanis up with this left jab to the face. Morissette's guard comes up and Neve buries the hook!"

O'Dell: "She's finished a lot of good fighters with that one, Mac, even YOU!"

McCarthy: "Hey!"

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Back to live action and Neve once again on the attack, backing up Alanis. Morissette looking for some distance now, but can't get any. Campbell landing to the body again, taking a toll on the singer, backing Alanis into the ropes. Nice uppercut to the chin there, then back downstairs. This is taking a toll on Alanis, gotta be!"

McCarthy: "Sustained body attack will do that. Gotta be in great shape and be awfully sturdy to hold up under this. Alanis needs to get busier to keep Neve off."

O'Dell: "Right now Neve is GETTING off, working those lats and that midsection as Alanis clinches, grimacing in pain. She's really taking a beating here as the fifth comes to a close!"

McCarthy: "Check the replay here. Some more of Neve's work in close. Hooking the kidneys and ribs. Wearing Alanis down."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Round six underway and Neve back to the offensive. Alanis trying to angle away and tie up, but Campbell's dictating right now and...DOWN GOES MORISSETTE! RIGHT HOOK TO THE LIVER AGAIN! THIS COULD BE IT, MAC!"

McCarthy: "She's getting up! Alanis is going to beat the count!"

O'Dell: "She does, but she's looking rickety, Mac! Referee gives her the eight count and waives Neve forward. Campbell's all in! Banging away, driving Morissette back into the ropes. Ripping hooks to the body. Uppercuts banging into the chin! Alanis' legs wobble. Neve holding her up against the ropes, going rack, slamming punch after punch home! Back to the midsection! OH! Big right hand snaps Alanis' head to the side. She's slumping forward but Neve's holding her up, pouring in the body shots! Alanis is out of it...AND THAT'S IT! THE REFEREE WAIVES IT OFF! BUNDLES ALANIS TO SAFETY! THE WINNER BY TKO6, NEVE CAMPBELL!"

AFTER:

McCarthy: "Now up to the ring and Jenny O'Dell..."

O'Dell: "Neve, I..."

Neve(pulling out a pair of electric shears): "See these, O'Dell? They aren't for Alanis. No, these are for your buddy McCarthy! You want to take SCALPS, J-Mac? Let's do it right! You bring in a pair of dinky scissors? Just like a Mick to bring a knife to a gun fight!"

McCarthy(screaming loudly enough to be heard even though her microphone has been turned off): "I'll KILL YOU, CAMPBELL! OUT OF THE WAY, YOU GOONS!"

Neve: "As for Morissette, who was superior tonight, Alanis? And who was the little bytch screaming into her gloves? You made a reputation off one fight eleven years ago. Well, that's over now. OVER! I'd better not hear another WORD out of you about Neve Campbell. Not one. Because if I do, well, we'll be in the same place in Canada again sometime. And there won't be a referee around to save your sorry a**!"