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9 April 2011 Epilogue to Bantam Bash

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 9 months ago

Posted by Boxing World Online on 4/9/2011, 8:20 am

The Man In The Hat sits on the dais flanked on his right by Avril, Neve, and Jewel. On his left are Britney, Pink, and Allison.

Man In The Hat: "OK. Questions. Cable Boy! Good ta see ya in Philly again! Go!"

HBO Reporter: "This is for Avril. How do you think it went tonight?"

Avril(smiling): "Pretty well, I think. We sold out. I expect high ratings on HBO. And Front Street won all four fights. Pretty successful evening all around, wouldn't you say, Wiz?"

Man In The Hat: "Sure would, kid. Cable Boy II! Go!"

Showtime Reporter: "Why the decision to have Britney run the corners?"

Man In The Hat: "Because the trainers and Pinkness were all in action tonight. I wanted them concentrating on their own fights. And Brit's had a hundred plus fights. She can run a corner. Looks like she did OK, too, doesn't it?"

(Laughter)

Man In The Hat: "Tess, dear, go ahead."

Tess: "This is for Neve..."

HBO Reporter: "Big surprise again..."

Reporter: "Shut UP!"

Man In The Hat: "I'd do it, Cable Boy. You might be able to take him, but you can NOT take her..."

Neve: "Or ME..."

Man In The Hat: "See, I personally prefer MY liver unlacerated, but, the choice is yours. Continue, Tess..."

Tess: "Thank you, Wiz. Nice to see there are at least a few GENTLEMEN here. Now, Neve, it was very personal between you and Alanis. I know why, but I'm not sure the fans know the whole story. You touched on it in your post-fight comments. Would you please elaborate?"

Neve: "It's simple. She beat me in '99. Stopped me. She wasn't the first. She won't be the last. She spent a lot of time crowing about it. Even THAT didn't bother me too much. Again, not the first. Won't be the last. But the bytch has been running around for over a decade claiming she made me quit. It's bulls**t and it always was. She won. I lost. But I never quit. Never. And I better never hear it out of her mouth again."

Man In The Hat: "Smackey, I'm takin' my girls to dinner in a few, well, all but Neve. She's got other plans with Tess. So wrap this up for me..."

Reporter: "I'm sure you're proud of all the girls tonight, since they all did well, and, in light of another success, will we be seeing more fights at the Asylum?"

Man In The Hat: "I couldn't be prouder of my girls. They all faced challenges tonight and they all handled them very well. As for the future of the Asylum cards, Avril has handled the first two events brilliantly and they've been a huge success. As a result, tonight I've executed two contracts. First, an agreement with the arena to continue this series for the next five years. Said contract guarantees us first choice of dates here and awards the exclusive rights to promote FCBA boxing at this facility to Avril Lavigne's Front Street Promotions. The second is a similar five year deal with HBO, sorry Cable Boy II, for exclusive television rights to the series. So, we'll be seeing you all here again soon. Now, get out of here so we can go celebrate!"