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22 April 2011 Sarah Chalke vs Kaley Cuoco

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 9 months ago

Sarah Chalke 01.jpg Kaley Cuoco 04.jpg

Posted by simguy on 4/22/2011, 10:00 am

BEFORE: "I feel like Claire Danes must feel at HISC," Kaley laments in prefight. "Claire's by far the best fighter they've got, but Mishy's got management wrapped around her finger and gets whatever she wants. That's like me and Jess. I fight my heart out for Medallion: Jess spends most of her time schmoozing Front-street goons and getting Tractorpull perks...it stinks! I get Sarah Chalke? I should be in marquee fights every PPV: top girls; title fights - THAT'S me. Sarah Chalke's a holding pattern, I mean, let's just call a spade a spade: Sarah Chalke's a bum!" Chalke scalded, but holding her own at the podium. "I get that Kaley's feeling left out and overlooked, but whatever Cinderella - get over yourself! I'm no bum and i'll show you: we get to punching and you're going to back up, girlie!" Kaley in black bikini; twisty bun with ringlets framing face; small black mitts. Sarah in shades-of-blue plaid sport top; navy bottoms; small white mitts; ponytail with bangs framing face.

During R1: Kaley spends a minute circling - low left hand probing Sarah's body and guard, feeling her out. Chalke turning-with, batting her right hand down against Kaley's searching left - spitting back her own left. Kaley gradually upping intensity - spanking right/lefts off Sarah's waist...Chalke giving ground, feeling Cuoco's strength. Final minute - Cuoco going forehead to forehead - pawing her hands down atop Sarah's to push apart the guard, then Kaley's chopping tits and ribs in tight. Bit of a jubblie-hunt for Kaley - just knocking Sarah's jugs about with short clouts and cuffs. Not much back from Chalke...she looks okay at the bell, but when she shrugs up off ropes, she's wobbly-butt, ashen-faced.

R2: Same again, Kaley relaxed, roaming clockwise during first-minute reconnaisance, then she edges on in to get work done. Chalke chopped about her tits and ribs in close; hooked hard to waist and liver; backed up. Kaley basically being a brawny blonde athlete in there - rough with head and bumping shoulders, working the body to set up clipping uppercuts to chin. Sarah pushed to ropes and worked over...she's grimacing, taking it tuff in her body, not answering back much as Kaley has her way. Bell: feisty Kaley chirping: "Clubbin' your jubblies, Sarah!"

R3: Sarah out with a bit more purpose - spitting jabs tits-and-face on Kaley - disrupting Cuoco's rhythm. Sticky hook digs at Kaley's rightside ribs. Rigid right uppercut cuts across Kaley's sternum. Cuoco fading, baiting Chalke forward, then countering Sarah's jab with wide, whippy hooks off the hip. Down the stretch, Chalke stepping in off her jab, hooking Kaley's gut a sticky, rangy left: Kaley hopping away, showing respect. In comes Sarah, jabbing: Kaley lifts her right hand out of her front hip pocket, drops it over Sarah's left jab, chipping Chalke to chin and DROPPING SARAH TO ALL FOURS! Chalke ramshackle, punching the canvas in frustration: now she's all hurt and woozy again!

R4: Sarah trying to use legs/jab, but getting picked apart...Kaley's reflexes, power-counters just too hurtful. Cuoco happy to bounce around outside, letting Sarah approach behind the jab - then Kaley lifts hands off her hips to chop away to chin. Chalke rocked and wobbled - stringy legs all stepping in fence-post holes, but she stays upright, wobbling away shiny-eyed and pouting. Down the stretch, Kaley imposes will, pushes in forehead-on-forehead, punishing Sarah to body via direct two-handed chopping pressure. Just at bell, Kaley slops away lefts and rights in side to side delivery, bludgeoning Sarah's knockers. Chalke blurts: "UHH!" in protest; Kaley all smug blonde-girl pushing off.

R5: Similar stuff - Chalke trying to work it rangy outside - getting countered hard to chin...once her legs're gone, it's a job of work for Kaley to walk her to ropes and beat her. Cuoco grinding away - strong shoulders bumping and pushing - her hands pushing Sarah's down - then short punches work to Chalke's torso or around her elbows. Bell: Kaley pushing up off Sarah all "I'm big"; Chalke open-mouthed, breathing hard, looking shaky through 5.

R6: Kaley with a brilliant series of whippy right hands to open: a slashing right across midsection; buggywhip sidearm to left flank; another buggywhip right in Sarah's ribs; a sneaky little outside-in right uppercut; a thick, short, chopping right tucked in over Sarah's left hip. Chalke wobbling away all how-could-you...she's hurt, legs breaking down. Sarah pinging out jabs, fending Kaley off...Chalke gradually growing brave enough to lean into rangy right crosses. Vintage Kaley: she rolls-right with a Chalke right; brings a swinging left up and around just in behind Chalke's right, catching Sarah to right temple. Sarah's head slammed around - her eyes immediately glassy/staring - her hands drifting to either side as she slow-twists to her left, crashing onto her back as Kaley prances away. Sarah: stiff - legs spasming straight out, then kicking up in the air like she's trying to avoid a pro-wrestling pin! Kaley chuckling...she knows she's got this. KO6 Kaley Cuoco.

After: Cuoco fresh n' pretty in postfight - white towel draped around her neck as she fields questions. "I felt good - in command. I don't know that Sarah's a natural lightweight - she didn't take my punches very well, and I felt like I could just move her at will. You know, I don't want to turn this into a Biel-bash, but let's face it: she wants to stall me out with fights like this while she's showcasing and it's wrong that she gets to say what I do." Kaley, Kaley - are you saying that Jessica had a hand in making this bout for you? "No doubt in my mind," Cuoco says. "This thing has Jessica's grubby paw marks all over it!"