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26 April 2011 Claire Danes vs Mila Kunis

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 8 months ago

Claire Danes 10.jpg Mila Kunis 05.jpg

CELEBRITY BOXING AFTER DARK

Posted by simguy on 4/26/2011, 4:05 pm

BEFORE: "When I battered Natalie Portman for Black Swan supremacy," Mila explains in prefight, "it was a fight between the two hardest-conditioned girls in boxing at that time. I'm actually taking a step BACK to face Claire now - that's what she isn't getting. Natalie at her peak couldn't handle what I'm bringing these days: Claire's in so far over her head, it's just her and glow-in-the-dark squids down there!" Danes unimpressed - she's cast in the role of "stopper" following recent setbacks to Mish and Eliza. "It's often up to me to steady the HISC line," Claire shrugs at podium, "I'm used to the pressure. Not that Mila's my idea of 'pressure'. No offence to Natalie, but since when does beating down Nat Portman constitute a threat to Claire Danes? Beating Nat gets Mila noticed, but respected? No - that's a whole different story." Mila in white bikini top/tan suede bottoms; small black mitts; hair in flouncy ponytail with curly bangs framing face. Claire in lavender bikini top/dark purple velvet boy leg bottoms; small black gloves; feisty short ponytail with scruffy gym-bangs. During ref's instructions, Mila snarks to Claire: "Nice top. When're you gonna spring for some tits?" Claire? Non-plussed.

During R1: Claire using her size, showing aggression. Blonde weight on left (lead) leg, looking to arch her back and fit Mila's jaw for rising, Ali-style hooks with a little back-arch in the delivery. Mila spitting jabs - ducking - then bending in via pitching right hands, taking Claire to left armpit, ribs or waist. Claire churning away via rolling combos underneath when Mila's close: Kunis grumpy from hup-hup against her tummy, stepping away with saucy left hooks off right (back) leg. Tasty flyweight fighting filling the air with punches, small gloves landing with high, bright PIK! PAK! connects.

R2: Similar stuff...Claire really wants to step in and get that Ali hook, working it early to put Mila ropeside. Clever little brunette reaches left hand to Claire's waistband, tugging her in/spinning her round to put DANES ropeside. Bang-bang right left underneath for Kunis: Claire frowning - reaching right arm in under Mila's left to push her off. Mila in close - wedging her left forearm along left side of Claire's neck to brace Danes...brunette in snug - chopping a wicked little right in around Claire's outstretched left to bruise up those ribs. Mila: pushing the left forearm on Claire's neck, then tucking a tight left hook into Claire's belly - replacing the forearm against Claire's neck to stabilize. Chopping right for Mila lands PIK! to Claire's flank...blonde girl fretting under the methodical work. Push-and-punch inside battle results...Claire ripping away rising rights to Mila's flat, bronzed tummy; Mila working her chopping right/tucking left to good effect flank-and-belly. BELL: Mila chopping in an extra right late - ref pulls her off as Claire scowls in protest.

R3: More fighting at the ropes on Mila's terms: right hands chopping around Claire's left; left forearm pushing left side of Claire's next, setting up short, tucking left hooks to blonde breadbasket. Danes eventually clinching for ref's break, circling to midring to renegotiate. Mila pursuing, running afoul of Claire pin-point jab...Danes using legs, using her height to control ring. Down the stretch, Claire's rising Ali left hook off the left leg finally clangs clean to Mila's ear...brunette stumbles away in shock, eyes moist. Claire sweeping her way forward with tapping lefts/sliding rights in breezy one-twos...Mila hits ropes; Claire celebrates with a swinging left hand deep to brunette midsection. Satisfying sob of pain as Mila pitches forward hurt: she clinches Claire for ref's break at ropes.

R4: Slap-n'-swivel Claire: she's pivoting clockwise midring, using her jab to pester and vex, turning around her left shoulder as Mila traipses after. Claire collecting tight, rising left hooks Ali style - catching Mila upside the head: right side of brunette face getting pink. Claire dropping in a chopping little right hand to Mila's forehead - blonde just knocking at her brunette's pate, keeping Kunis honest.

R5: Mia fighting her way forward - wide right hands turning Claire to her right; swinging, wide lefts catching Claire on her face, sending her awkwardly to ropes. Danes rolling-torso in pocket: Mila viciously at Claire with small gloves snapping and snatching at flanks, tummy. Claire tough to catch clean to chin - Mila's tidy uppercuts scraping hairline or cuffing Claire's ears, but brunette making most of her money downstairs via sinewy, swinging right/lefts.

R6: Slap-n'-swivel Claire: using her legs, using her height, baiting Mila forward, hooking her, turning her for points.

R7: Mila lunging - even leaving her feet on hooks to catch Claire as blonde girl's turning to her right to escape pressure: swinging connects on Danes' face forces her ropeside. Mila pushing in close - controlling Claire via left forearm along left side of Danes' neck, then smiting her chopping rights to ribs/digging lefts to breadbasket/tits in snug. Claire grumpy, getting worked over...she's pushing and punching in response, working to fit right hands to Mila's belly as brunette strains to keep blonde pinned down.

R8: Claire flicking jabs/stepping into rising Ali hooks...ringing connects discourage Mila, forcing her ropeside. Claire striding in, being big...she pushes Mila deep to ropes with left shoulder, then eases out to bat right/left licks ribs-and-tummy on Mila. Kunis pouting, snatching back hooks: Claire seeting it well, leaning onto back (right) leg to avoid these swipes, then leaning back in left shoulder for the ol' push-and-punch. Claire whacking away to good effect downstairs: little Mila mouthbreathing, taking a beating on ropes through 8.

R9: Same again - Claire atop Mila at ropes - using left shoulder to push brunette deep to cables, then deploying lashing right/lefts to body. Strapping whacks from Claire - not her usual fare, but she realizes she's bigger and she's fighting that way. Mila suffering, but defiant - chopping back nasty rights/hooking off the ropes in spots. Mila's best tactic is timely trunk-tugging on Claire - pulling brunette in and reversing her to ropes for ref's breaks (and warnings: "Stay off her trunks, Mila!")

R10: Claire in charge - too much height, too many hard punches mixed in with all the pesty. Danes getting rising hooks upside Mila's head; getting little hammer-drop right hand choppers in tight, punching Mila between the eyes. More lanky push-n-punch when Mila's seated ropeside...little brunette breaking down, going wobbly butt as damage accrues. Kunis too proud and fit to go down...she sponges it up, but catching some serious licks along ropes...bell sounds as Claire's really getting back and legs into lanky wallop. UD10 Claire Danes.

After: Danes demure, turning back Mila's strong challenge with a door-slamming final three rounds: classic Claire ring control tonight. At one point in post-fight mill, Portman cruises past battered and sore Mila, shouting: "GOOD!" in Kunis' puffy face. Claire's breezy in postfight: "Yeah, good effort from Mila tonight - strong: I can see why she beat Natalie. Kunis was outgunned and outclassed - that was the problem for Mila: just too much Claire in front of her tonight. It's a good spine-stiffener for my stablemates too: every once in a while, I have to step up and turn back a real good fighter, just to remind the girls how it's supposed to be done. Hopefully they took notes so we can get back to the business of mowing down these upstart little tramps!"