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7 May 2011 The Indie Times Newsletter

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 8 months ago

Posted by INDIE TIMES on 5/7/2011, 4:24 pm

CAT-BIRD SEAT...

...For Ms. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. "It's pretty sweet," Rosie told the Indie Times in a recent red-carpet stop-and-talk. "Megan's practically groveling at my feet for a fight, but the fact is - her star's sunk so low I might not even go for her. Odette Yustman, Candi Swanepoel, Kate Upton and Grace Park are all hotter, more in demand, and in my body-zone, so those are all great 'gets' for me. Megan might be nice as a Transformer's boost, but I'm happy to let her beg like a dog at dinner for my attention! My people will call her people if/as/when we want her."

SIMPSON SMACKDOWN!

Ashley Simpson confirmed her result over Jamie Lynn Spears in the most recent ASYLUM card via humiliating UD10 decision...our Indie fighter of the month isn't too impressed with the highly touted JLS, to wit: "Britney got all the magic in that family," Simpsy snarks. "When you fight with Jamie, you see that she's got a hook, she's got some talent, but you know there's nothing special there. She's easy to trick, easy to find...I was baiting her all night long and kissing her big punches: good fighters won't let you do that. The Wiz is wasting his money on that girl, but whatever: I'd fight her again for a Philly Cheese-Steak just for the chance to go up 3-rip and toss her career in the garbage for good!"

THE LADY SIF COMMANDS RESPECT!

Indie Times is excited at the prospect of young Jaimie Alexander crashing the big-girl lists soon. "Obviously I want Righetti and Theron," the towering phenom of THOR brazens, "but I'm happy to chew up a few blondes to get to those girls. My guys are thinking Torrie Wilson, Kris Loken or Stacy Keibler, which I'm totally on board for - anything to get me started in the ass-kicking biz!"

WHITHER TISDALE?

Ashley Tisdale in the running for a chance at LOOKOUT's flagship flyweight Leighton Meester. "It's definitely a huge opportunity for me," says the fighting Hellcat. "I'm hoping to seal that deal ASAP before someone else snaps Leighton up and beats her! It sucks that Hudgens would duck me, but what can you expect from Lookout tramps? They should rename that outfit 'Duck, Cheat, and Quit Inc.'!!"

JAMIE CHUNG TO OUST LOHAN?

Scuttlebutt has it that young Jamie Chung could be getting a chance to springboard into the limelight over the freshly victorious, but always erratic Lindsay Lohan. "Lindsay's a well-traveled road to glory," insists Ms. Chung. "Stepping over that beyotch is something I've been waiting for, and I cannot WAIT to get started on her!"