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7 May 2011 Mischa Barton vs Kesha

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 8 months ago

Mischa Barton.jpg Kesha 02.jpg

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on 5/7/2011, 8:51

BEFORE:

"Ke$ha's nothing special," Mischa says,"Either in the ring or out of it, she's a flash in the pan. She doesn't have any discipline in there. She's just an unskilled brawler. You aren't going to win in the FCBA that way, least of all against someone like me, someone who can actually box."

"Barton's here for one purpose, to get me some work," Ke$ha says with a wry smile. "I'm going to decide how long I want to be in there, and, when I think I've done enough, I'm taking her out. The clock's running, Mischa. Tik Tok."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell:"Well, Mac, here comes Mischa to the All-American Rejects' 'Gives You Hell'. I make her an underdog here and a big one..."

McCarthy: "She might be an underdog to Calista Flockhart! She's just an opponent here. This is the typical kind of mismatch the Weirdo likes!"

O'Dell: "The familiar strains of 'Tik Tok' over the sound system now as the girl the Wiz calls 'Six Feet Of Sexy' comes to the ring. Ke$ha looking confident, but, I've got to say, so does Mischa. And before we get carried away with how big an underdog Barton is, let's keep in mind she has just as many FCBA wins as Ke$ha. One."

McCarthy: "Yeah, but Barton's been around a lot longer."

O'Dell: "Well, we aren't going to have to wait any longer to find out how this is going to go. There's the bell and the first is underway. Barton pushing out some jabs, backing up, moving away from the younger blonde here."

McCarthy: "Oh, that's weak! She's just pawing. Putting nothing behind those punches at all!"

O'Dell: "Ke$ha's walking right through them and now winging big left hands! Barton getting out of Dodge! She's avoiding the punches, ducking and back pedalling here!"

McCarthy: "No discipline at all from Ke$ha. Just like last time. Kid hasn't learned a THING."

O'Dell: "She's keeping after Barton, though, Mac. And she lands a left there! Didn't hit flush, but she got Mischa's attention! Barton sliding along the ropes...Ke$ha with another BOOMING left! Mischa caught some of that on her glove but she's still a little wobbly! Ke$ha smelling blood in the water here, Mac, winging away to the head with big, wild left hands. Barton in an ear muff against the ropes hanging on as the bell rings!"

McCarthy: "Pathetic. Just pathetic."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Ke$ha got a bit of a lecture from Jewel and Neve during the break there."

McCarthy: "Like THOSE two losers know anything!"

O'Dell: "Second underway, and, look at this, Mac! Ke$ha working the jab from the outside!"

McCarthy: "Might be the first jab the kid's ever thrown!"

O'Dell: "Well, there's the second...and the third...the rangy southpaw snapping out nice, crisp right jabs. Mischa backpedalling again. Ke$ha with a nice left hook to the side of the head that got Mischa's attention! Barton's got her guard up again as Ke$ha forces her back into the ropes! Splits the guard with a nice, hard right jab, bangs away at Mischa's gloves with a left hook then a follow up right!"

McCarthy: "Barton's just covering up here! She's got to be more aggressive!"

O'Dell: "She's getting smothered, Mac! Great stuff from Big K! Putting punches together. Staying in control. Whacking away upside Barton's head. Another snapping right jab Ke$ha..OH! BIG LEFT HOOK! BARTON SWEPT TO THE CANVAS! MISCHA KNOCKED FLAT TO HER BACK! Referee sends Ke$ha to a neutral corner and picks up the count. Mischa not moving at all here! Eight. Nine. Ten! It's over! The winner by KO2,
Ke$ha!"

McCarthy: "Let's check the replay here, Jenny. Here's Ke$ha snapping Barton's head back with that right jab and now watch the follow up left hook. Mischa's jaw is exposed for just an instant as a result of the jab and BOOM! There's the big left hand and it's over. Got to admit, that was an excellent round from Ke$ha. By far the best one of her short career. She was under control. She put her punches together. She moved her head and feet. Maybe she HAS learned something."

AFTER:

McCarthy: "Well, since I'm still being held captive by the Weirdo's security, let's go up to the ring and Jenny O'Dell!"

O'Dell: "Ke$ha, you've got to be pleased with this effort tonight, but I noticed Jewel and Neve getting on you a bit between rounds..."

Ke$ha: "I get excited out there, you know? I want to take the fight to a girl right away. So, I got out of control in the first round and they just told me to settle down and do the stuff we've been working on. I can beat fighters like Barton just brawling, sure, but if I want to be a champion, and I DO, I've got to be technically sound. I've got to box and set up my punches. I'm not there yet, but I'm getting closer. It's all coming together. It's just a matter of time. Tik. Tok."