PHOTOS COURTESY BI PHOTO LABS

Posted by Simguy on 12/13/2002, 5:43 am.

Before: Dimpled blondes labeled “FCBA Filler” by some uncharitable editorials for weak efforts of late, but both are learning the hard way to win by minutes in the ring. “Hey, we’re young,” says Elisha in preflight, “I know I’m getting work because of my looks right now, but that WILL change when I start beating girls. People forget--Mish Williams used to be a SBP (Soft Blonde Payday) and look at her now. There’s no physical difference between Shakira, Alyssa, Mish and me--just know-how, and I’m learning every time out. What Rachel Stevens did to me made me a better fighter and I’m going to prove it on Jessica.” Simpson with similar sentiments, “I know I can show if I’m not overmatched. This is the fight I’ve been waiting for, somebody on my level who I can do some things with. I’ve got everything you need to be a success in this sport, I just need to be brought along properly.” Jessica in “70s Show” psychedelic bikini, oranges and greens--Elisha in Maxim black bikini with sheer orange crop top tank overtop. Small gloves for both.

During R1: Elisha with the quick jump, traps Jess in her corner and starts to dole out a jiggly beating. Simpson not warmed up, laying back under fire--right hand up in front of her face, left across her body as Cuthbert wails away. Elisha misfiring on some punches, feet too square at times, sometimes she’s falling in and smothering herself on Simpson, but she IS getting good leverage on the odd shot and Jessica’s suffering. Midway through, Cuthbert swinging from the hips clouts Jessica a right on the mouth, sitting Simpsy into the ropes, and a sweeping left on the forehead that has Jessica sleepy. Simpsy helpless, hands outstretched--Elisha bale to square away and chug to the guts and jugs of her foe to the bell.

R2: Simpson blubbering during the break--she’s shook up--Elisha gets right back on top. Cuthbert just breaking in Jessica in waves, barreling the singer  into the ropes, lowering her head and throwing her fists into the soft paunch, curvy hips and stout ribs of her opponent. Simpson open-mouthed, dazed--she’s getting ransacked. Elisha swarming, again wasting a lot of effort, but the constant barrage has Jessica pinned to the ropes and taking shots--bell to bell Cuthbert sees her jump to a commanding lead.

R3:  Elisha charging--Jessica folding. Simpson braced up against the ropes and getting worked over again--she’s teary-eyed, panicky. Elisha trying to be more methodical. She’s using her left arm to wrap up around Jessica’s right, then palming Simpson’s left shoulder to open that luscious torso. Stuffing rights ensues, belly, breasts, pushing, holding, slugging. Simpson standing there, achy, seemingly paralyzed--she’s just groaning, trying to close up her battered body or pull Elisha close and it’s not working. Cuthbert big for the third consecutive round.

R4: HARD two-way slugging as Jessica dries her eyes and decides to go down swinging. Girls get their weight forward, leaning in with their heads and just heaving away to the torso with clubbing lefts and rights. Punishment adds up, girls gets shabby, start to stumble into each other and into punches--it’s a wild “I’ll hit you, you hit me’ slugging at the its most basic. Cuthbert simply willing Jessica back into the topes by the final minute--”24” cutey getting her shoulder on Jess and pushing a series of kneading lefts and rights into Simpson’s lap to take the round late.

R5: Intensity down a notch, both girls are mouth breathing, eyes starting to look tortured, but Cuthbert’s still hungry. Elisha making the fight, constantly looking to come forward, impose her will. Jessica gritting her teeth, standing her ground--she’s reaching under Cuthbert’s arms now, trying to bull the blonde back, slowing the action. Flat footed, both girls trying to use weight, get their shoulders into the opponent’s chest, use it shove and get a short shot in behind as they come forward.

R6: Girls laying in, struggling for position, wrestling, but it’s Simpson walking Elisha back now. Simpson getting off. Jessica mouth on shoulder with Lishy, swinging away downstairs--she’s got Cuthbert groggy and Elisha’s butt touches the ropes for the first time in the fight. Simpsy strong on the strands--landing clouting lefts and rights as she bends side to side, getting her hips into it--Cuthbert lunched over getting her chin cracked and ELISHA GOES DOWN! Both girls startled--Cuthbert just dropping to one knee--Simpsy staggering back as the ref issues 8. Cuthbert ROARING off the ropes! She sails into Jessica with pitching rights and lefts, backing Simpson up under a sheet of leather clear across the ring. Cuthbert pushing up on Jess, then sinking I hard shots to the breadbasket--she’s got Jessica groaning, legs shaking--singer’s hanging on! At the bell, Elisha has to be pulled off, Simpson trembling, blubbering again--10-8 round for Jessica commuted to 10-9 for Elisha’s gutty comeback off the canvas.

R7,8: Sloppy, but crowd-pleasing stuff as the girls lead with their faces, clang away with short right crosses to chins, shivering hooks to ribs and pain-wracked tummies. Curvy legs and backsides on constant wobble--girls are reeling, buckling, but fighting on autopilot, Jessica a little more savvy--she’s punching at the right distance, often pre-empting Elisha with a hammering lead right on the chops., Cuthbert getting clocked, often falling in and needing a moment to collect herself, sweaty clinching and mauling as girls take turns muscling each other into the ropes, smuggling in punches in tight quarters. Simpson takes both rounds close--Cuthbert fading.

R9: Methodical, less reckless stuff--though exhausted, girls are trying to set down on shots and land with a little mustard, getting their bodies behind blows, both using the left arm to reach in on the other, shoulder her back, then get the hook or little shopping right hand. Girls taking turns walking each other back, turning each other. Down the stretch, Simpson digs a hurtful little left hand for Elisha’s belly in close--Cuthbert cringing, Jessica follows up the lead. Short right hand in behind the elbow, another jagged little hook in the belly--Simpsy with her chin on Elisha’s shoulder, working her back with stuffing body blows and CUTHBERT GOES DOWN! Sick groan as Elisha turns away, takes a knee at the ropes, right arm in the strands as she grimaces, E showing heart--beats the count, slouches hurt to her corner and refuses to quit.

R10: Girls have no legs left--they’re just laying in with each other, nudging and writhing with shoulders and arms for a little room, then cramming home leather, hoping for the opponent to give out. Staggering dance to the ropes, eyes fluttering shut, bellies heaving--it’s torturous stuff  as neither girls can bring out the quit in the other. Down the stretch, Cuthbert pushes Jess to a seat in the ropes and mounts one last surge. Agonizing lefts and rights, chugging back and forth, pushing into belly and hips while Cuthbert leans forward onto her foe, Jessica can’t get off, can’t get up--she soaks up the thumping to the bell. Comes back one point duke, Elisha Cuthbert.

After: Bawling tears from both girls in the aftermath as they take each other into deep, deep water in this fight. How close was it? If Simpson has gotten a 10-8 instead of a 10-9 6th, this fight’s a draw. All Elisha early, all Simpsy late, girls shaking off KO blows, getting off the canvas, refusing to be run out of Dodge. Tremendous heart if not skill shown by both competitors eager to shake that SBP label--this is the heat that hardens a girl up over time.

Reposted by Archer 6/4/11.