If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.
You already know Dokkio is an AI-powered assistant to organize & manage your digital files & messages. Very soon, Dokkio will support Outlook as well as One Drive. Check it out today!

20 May 2011 Elisha Cuthbert vs Minka Kelly

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 7 months ago

Elisha Cuthbert 08.jpg Minka Kelly 03.jpg

Posted by simguy on 5/20/2011, 9:03 am

BEFORE: Pushing, top-tugging, and slapping in prefight...two of the cutest fighters in boxing feeling each other's heat and hating it. "I've already beaten Elisha, so I AM better," Minka reminds the press in prefight, "this is more about defending my brand against copycats and haters. I'm the tuffest of the cute, and the cutest of the tuff, and Elisha needs to acknowledge that!" Cuthbert FUMING at Minka's trademarked slogan: blonde girl wants to smash all things Kelly going in. "SHE'S HORRIBLE!" Elisha whines at podium. "She's so over-rated, it just makes me want to scream. World's Sexiest? PLEASE! What about 'World's Dumbest' or 'World's Whiniest'? I'm going to beat Minka Kelly SO HARD, she'll be BEGGING me to stop her!" Minka in pea green tank top twist-tied up under left breast (stretched TIGHT across jugs and back); electric blue bikini bottoms; small powder blue mitts; ponytail with bangs framing face. Elisha in white cashmere crochet bikini top (tawdry); baby blue bikini bottoms; small white mitts; messy blonde tousle. Girls fuming during staredown - Minka lifts mitts to touch 'em up: Elisha shouts "NO!"

During R1: Minka: right leg well back, pushing weight onto front (left) leg; pokey lead right hands straight to face; hooking lefts swept palm-down across Cuthbert's front. Elisha hands up/elbows in - moving her head...she's pounding the left jab straight to Minka's melons; bobbing on the spot; punching righty with Minka, then trying to beat her to the hook with a choppy, compact swat. Mitts POUNDING off opposing faces - girls soon blinking and stunned with face-spank, but standing in there and continuing to punch stubborn. Gets so bad, crowd starts roaring after each clobbering blast...girls' heads rocking back, lips parting as hurt piles up. Elisha mixing in a vicious, short-chopping right to Minka's left hip/ribs; Kelly humbling Cuthbert's tits via straight right hands, then fitting left uppercuts to Elisha's stomach. Bell: girls both wobbly butt - both noses bleeding, eyes staring...Minka probably the busier girl, though both look shellshocked on respective stools!

R2: Same again - girls just seeking each other out, slamming away old-school. Minka frequently pre-empting Elisha with the straight-right lead: Cuthbert's punished face kicking back from hard poke, leaving her staring for follow-up hooks. Elisha compact, changing levels well: she'll dip down in her stance, angle her torso to her right and HACK a short right hand hard to Minka's tanned leftside ribs...Kelly grimacing in pain, but always answering back right/left. Elisha keeping elbows in, turning her hips into compact hooks: she's frequently beating Minka to hooks as Kelly's a little wider with her left. Down the stretch though - sustained stream of straight lead rights pounds at Elisha's breasts, backing her up in confusion: Mink turns over the palm-down hook, clips chin 2 sweet and BLONDE GIRL DOWN! Cuthbert punched to her buns, scooting to a stop at ropes...she's sitting up all frazzled and pretty, eyes blinking as Minka shouts: "HAH!"

R3: Elisha bodying up, muscling Minka to ropes: blonde girl on top and going to work. Elisha: left hand at Mink's left shoulder, holding her steady as Cuthbert leans in close to pack repeat right hands to trembling brunette gut. Pumping work beats Mink to a seat in the ropes: blonde girl pouting furiously as she repeatedly pushes Minka upright, then pumps in stubby left/rights to belly and jugs. POOR MINKA! Kelly blubbering in protest, trying to push Elisha off or cover up: blonde girl just wrestling apart the guard, getting into Minka with the good stuff. Midway through - Elisha's got Minka weeping in pain: blonde girl just cramming in short right hands tummy, tummy, left flank, tummy: MINKA'S DOWN! Kelly sinking to all fours, shuddering with body-hurt...Cuthbert shouting down: "YOUR BODY'S LIKE PUDDING!" Mink beats count, blinks away tears, but she's hurt: blonde bully has a good final minute punching Minka right hands body and head as brunette slides to her right along ropes. BREAK: concerned trainer tells Mink in no uncertain terms: "You can NOT go into body-deficit with this girl, baby - not Elisha. She gives you one in the gut, you give her two - that's the trade, baby! Who's hotter?"

Minka: "me."

Trainer: "WHO'S HOTTER?"

Minka: "ME! I AM!"

Trainer: "Good girl! Here: water."

R4: Minka methodical, deliberate - face all puffy but SO determined as she hunts Elisha down. Kelly's straight right hands pre-empting Elisha - punching her face back, startling her: follow-on clip-across hooks smiting Elisha's jugs or clouting chin. Cuthbert keeping her guard up, but giving ground; blonde girl unable to fight backing up and both girls know it. Damage accrues: Kelly's pulverizing face; banking hooks thick behind blonde right elbow; chopping in rights behind left elbow. Midway through, Elisha grimacing, backs away from right/left tic-toc body shots and slowly takes a knee, eyes brimming with tears from the humiliation. Minka shouts: "FELT LIKE A CROW-BAR, DIDN'T IT?" As ref's pushing her back. Cuthbert up at 8, but hinky: body's throbbing, face all pinched and wretched. Pay-back beating along the ropes - Minka stalking wilting blonde, punishing her both hands upstairs and down as Elisha covers-and-swoons. Bell: Minka tucks an extra left hook into blonde paunch, sitting Elisha gasping into ropes...ref pulls Mink away with stern warning, but Kelly tells him: "Tummy tax, ref!"

R5: Both girls commit to the grim business of grinding each other down inside...glorious brutality as cutie-tuffies dig in. Mouths open, breath panting/grunting. Left shoulders rubbing and bumping rival tits. Left hands tucking in short to tummies, turning tight across jug. Right hands chopping at left hips; jaw; temple as girls fight in a phone booth. Midway through, MAJESTIC Cuthbert short-right uppercut picks Minka up HARD: Kelly's head flopping back as her eyes shut tight - her legs giving a shimmy on the spot. Cuthbert celebrates via tight left hook to tits, then doubling up hook-hook on Minka's right ear. Brunette in desperate trouble, stumbling forward in earmuff as blonde girl keeps hips back so punches can flow: Elisha beats Minka to the body without mercy. Down the stretch, Kelly shows her grit - punching groggily in side-to-side combos, scoring on Elisha's jawlines and putting her wobbly butt. Bell: girls swaying on the spot, staring bleakly at each other for signs of quit...nope, no quit: only hate through 5.

Posted by simguy on 5/20/2011, 9:04 am

R6: Grim duty continues inside...girls nudging mouth on shoulder, lips parted, eyes half closed as they bump and pump in tight. 'Lish will lever Minka back via chicken-wing left elbow against the body, then it's shoving right to gut; swiping left as Kelly grunts in receipt. Mink laying in, lifting a sleepy right into Elisha's tits, then hooking blonde gut as Cuthbert's sighing moistly upon receipt. Brutal, short-shrugging toe-to-toe...girls sluggishly wandering around as they push and punch at each other, neither really aware of the surroundings at this point. Bell: girls still pushing in and working...ref pulls groggy battlers apart, sends 'em stumbling home through 6. Elisha half asleep on her stool, boozily asking her trainer: "Is she quitting?" while getting enswell under left eye.

R7: Elisha fighting off Minka's chest like it's cold outside and she needs the warmth: girls just gruntin' and sluggin' on autopilot. It's a good distance and style for Cuthbert...she's more compact in her delivery, routinely beating Minka to hooks at close range, buckling Kelly's knees. Elisha mindlessly shoving right hands into Minka's tummy, and the ribcage just south of jug...good, digging connects have Kelly's mouth open like she's lost in the desert. Minka shoving back at Cuthbert - short punches bumping at tummy; wider tic-toc punches whapping off either hip. Elisha able to keep her weight forward, slowly imposing will as girls fight on blonde terms. During the break, Minka starts shuddering, breaking into sniveling tears: trainer rallies her, reminding her, "Think about Leighton, baby. 16 rounds of hell and YOU came through; YOU dug down - SHE quit. Elisha couldn't have survived that - she couldn't!"

R8: Elisha crosses the ring, reaches in under Minka's arms, chests her to ropes, beats her without mercy. Steady, pounding stuff - no wildness or stupidity: blonde girl crowding close without smothering - pushing on Minka, fitting her for short clout with elbows in on delivery. Poor Kelly sleepy at ropes, so groggy...she's getting ragdolled, sorted out, then punished - her right hand at left shoulder, left across her gut. Elisha's fists roam Minka's torso, beating at her brown biceps, shiny flanks, firm tummy and proud jugs. Clobbering headshots chop away on Minka - Elisha just clouting her girl, keeping Kelly hurt. Blonde in charge with left shoulder/chickenwing left elbow as she pushes and props: masterful shove-and-slug 8th all Cuthbert as she pushes off big-girl at bell!

R9: Minka so banged up and groggy, but she's coming forward - sweeping the right to Elisha's tummy; chopping hook to blonde right ear. Cuthbert right back: left uppercut takes Minka to tummy; left hook clouts her jaw; short right clouts left ear...Elisha's got Minka backing up in the exchanges. Kelly never stops slugging, but she's getting outworked...fight drifts to ropes where Elisha can push at Minka, get a body on her, chop and shove punches to midsection, ribs and hips. Bell: Kelly open-mouthed, eyes bleak...she's shabby with hurt, only Cuthbert-hate keeping her on her feet at this point!

R10: Minka resumes her lead-right-to-face routine - stubby poke knocks Cuthbert's head back, leaving her drowsy for follow up. Minka steadily forward, scoring on Elisha, walking her down...blonde girl crossing arms, being sullen as brunette has her way. Down the stretch, girls fighting in neutral corner - Minka on top until Elisha reverses and crowds in...Cuthbert able to smother the rally, losing the 10th, but taking a brutal UD10 to win the fight!

After: As Elisha's hand is raised, both girls begin blubbering...Cuthbert overcome with triumph; Minka devastated. "I made you quit!" Weepy Elisha tells sniveling Minka in the aftermath - Kelly squaring up to argue as officials move in. "I'M cutest of the tuff and tuffest of the cute!" Elisha proudly boasts in postfight. "I used Minka Kelly up AS PROMISED! She had nothing left at the end - NOTHING! I'm tops - I'm best: all I know is I want a title shot and I don't care who's got the belts!"