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20 May 2011 Scarlett Johansson vs Jessica Simpson

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 7 months ago

Scarlett Johansson 11.jpg Jessica Simpson 05.jpg

JMD BOUT

Posted by simguy on 5/20/2011, 9:08 am

Before: It’s an epic first meeting between two of the top lionesses of the flyweight division, but both girls are treating each other like a small bump in the road on the way to bigger and better things. “My jugs are going to stop her jugs,” Jessica affirms crossly and curtly, “End of story.” Scarlett’s somewhat more verbose, but equally unkind about her blonde opponent – “Ms. Wonder-Tits there seems to have forgotten who she’s dealing with. Chabert, Lohan, Hewitt… If you’ve seen one JMDer, you’ve seen them all. I’ll outsmart her – which by the way, doesn’t say too much – then I’ll beat her rack into submission. After all, that’s what everyone’s paying to see, isn’t it?” Great bravado from each lady, but both are caught completely off guard by the late-breaking news that Jennifer Love Hewitt has gotten herself appointed as special guest referee. “Why am I here? To lend this fight the gravitas of the JMD queen’s presence, of course,” Jen intones cheerfully, “I promise to be fair, yet firm.” Neither fighter’s buying it, and both are clearly displeased to see Jenny Love inserting herself like this – Jessica’s wary of the possibility of Johansson and Hewitt ganging up on her (to say the least about her doubts of JLH’s impartiality), while Scarlett’s very nonplussed about her supposed compatriot hogging the spotlight. Jen in a short sleeve ref-striped blouse that’s tied in a front knot halfway between sternum and belly button – healthy amount of midriff showing – plus black capri shorts. Jessica in white string bikini, black gloves, hair loose; Scarlett in black bra-style bikini, black gloves, hair tinged copper.

During R1: Jessica surges forward at the opening bell, eager to get into the redhead’s trunks and swing for the fences, totally throwing caution to the wind at the start in classic JMD style. Scarlett refuses to play the blonde’s game, showing a southpaw stance with right hand/shoulder out in front, not looking to slug it out with an energetic and motivated Simpson – Johansson retreats in good order, letting her feet dictate the pace of the fight as she sidesteps counterclockwise and dances juuusssttt out of harm’s way. Johansson’s evading most of Simpson’s left and right sidearm punches, while the punches that do land are mostly glancing off of her jugs rather than connecting with the full meat of her orbs. For her part, Scarlett’s pawing at Jessica’s chest with her right jab, showing a cute poke, but is perhaps a little too cautious as she refrains from sticking long enough to thump Simpson’s tits with that left she’s got curled up under her chin. Largely inconclusive bell to bell, as both girls finish the first stanza largely unscathed and unable to assert dominance over the other.

R2: Jess standing with 10 seconds remaining in the break – blonde launches herself out the starting gate, catching the redhead off guard. Trapped in her corner and tackled back against the turnbuckle, Scarlett cries out as Simpson hammers her left breast with a pounding right hook. One heavy-handed blow after another from Jessica as she applies crisscrossed shellack to Johansson’s rack, shrugging into them with half-hook, half-uppercut punches from underneath. Scarlett desperately trying to turn her body and ride the punches out, but pressed against the turnbuckle, she’s got no room to maneuver. Johansson cringes as more and more leather is connecting solidly, and JESS TAKES WHAT SHE WANTS! Scarlett’s sobbing now as Jessica takes her jugs with palms-down hooks, clubbing them from the outside. Johansson’s on the verge of collapse one minute in as her head starts to loll back and her legs begin to buckle – somehow, she’s able to manage a clinch with her blonde tormentor, buying her a respite and forcing Hewitt to break them up. It’s all the breathing room she needs though – as they resume, Scarlett’s able to turn counterclockwise and work her way out of the corner, using her legs to find open ground. Jessica clearly not wanting to let Johansson off the hook, but the redhead’s pesky right jab keeps tagging her tits and keeping her just out of range – Simpson’s wild haymakers find nothing but air as she chases after her quarry. Takes some time for Scarlett to regain her composure, but down the stretch, she’s turning her foe to blunt her momentum, and starting to reassert itself with her pounding left hand. Jessica’s whines and gasps growing louder as Scarlett’s punches begin to land with more frequency – a loud blurt of pain escapes her lips as a particularly hard left cross lands and JESSICA’S HURT! Simpson’s stumbling back, and Scarlett bodies her back into the ropes. Redhead pours herself at blonde rack with uncharacteristic gusto and juglust in the last twenty seconds, battering poor Jessica and leaving her trembling at the bell.

Between rounds – both girls getting icepack rubdowns for their aching chests after the bad harmed inflicted on each other in the last stanza. Meanwhile, Hewitt’s in midring, eating it all up at the sight of two potential rivals using each other up in such a fashion.

R3: Game plan hasn’t changed for Jessica – she’s diving straight in, trying to get in close enough to wallop Scarlett’s jugs into submission. Redhead reacts better this time, really showing off her superior footwork – fighters are only engaging on Johansson’s terms. Scarlett’s pivoting each time Jessica lunges forward to make her miss, then using her quick, accurate right or heavy, thudding left to counter and make the blonde pay. Jessica’s bamboozled by the gentle yet masterful counterclockwise rotation, getting frustrated as she can’t connect cleanly, then crying out as her rack is punished by the counter. By the end of the first minute, Jessica’s in tears, not coming forward with the same vigor – Scarlett times her as she’s coming in, slams a left uppercut into the underside of Simpon’s right bra cup, AND JESSICA’S HURT! Simpson unravels suddenly, stepping forward in fenceholes past Scarlett to fall in against the ropes, and Johansson goes to work! Redhead lets it all hang out as she bodies blonde up and romps to jug, scrubbing with both fists… Jessica’s really getting pummeled now – her head is lolling back as she bares her throat… AND HEWITT ISN’T STEPPING IN! Jen steps back out of reach of the two and crosses her arms across her chest, grinning and content to watch as one of her most hated rivals suffers the abuse … Simpson’s sobbing, just wants to fall, but Johansson won’t let her… Scarlett’s keeping her propped up as she applies a full minute of punishment to Jessica’s jugs – first pounding them with crisscrossing hooks, then clubbing the same hooks into the outsides of the blonde’s breasts, then pumping uppercuts into the undersides. Finally, with thirty seconds to go, Scarlett lands a gobsmacking left cross to Jessica’s right tit – Simpson bawls as her legs buckle and give way, collapsing to the canvas cradling her battered rack in her arms. KO3 Scarlett Johansson.

After: “So whose jugs stopped whose?” Scarlett cruelly snarks after leaving blonde rubble in her wake, “What did I say? Class wins over dumb muscle any day.”

A beaming Johansson struts over to Simpson’s corner, intent on claiming her tribute… Yanking Jessica up to her feet and shoving her upright against the turnbuckle, Scarlett gives her a meanspirited backhanded slap across her jugs, drawing an anguished cry from the blonde. However, before the redhead can proceed any further, Hewitt slides her arm in between the two and forces Johansson back, and then unbuttons and unknots her referee’s shirt, revealing the JMD Diamond Bra worn on top of a purple silk push-up.

Scarlett: “What do you think you’re doing?”
Jen: “JMD rules. The reigning queen gets first dibs on anyone beaten in a JMD match.”
Scarlett: “What.”
Jen: “It’s in the rulebook. Section 4, Paragraph E? It’s there, you can look it up.”
Scarlett: “Like hell it is. I’ve earned this-”
Jen: “And you’re in no condition to stop me. I’m bad enough on a good day – right now, you’re battered, and I’m fresh. Do you really want to press your luck?”

Tense, furious standoff goes on for a few seconds as Jen and Scarlett silently stare each other down… Then, with a snarl of frustration, Johansson backs up, forced to watch like a wild predator that’s had its fresh kill stolen by a bigger competitor.

Smug Hewitt smiles to herself as she unclips the Diamond Bra and neatly hangs it over the top rope… Jessica’s eyes go wide and she cries as she sees Jennifer’s rack looming in front of her face, but her sobs are quickly muffled as the brunette’s jugs envelop her face. Jen secures her arms behind Jessica’s head and neck and squeezes tightly, shaking the blonde from side to side as she wastes no time in putting her under. Simpson paws at Hewitt’s bare midriff, trying to fight her way out, but it’s no use… Hewitt’s in there snug, grinding her tits into the blonde’s face with everything she can muster.

Jess eventually starts to falter, her legs trembling and threatening to give way while her hands lose strength and slide down to the top of Jen’s thigh’s… Hewitt pulls Simpson out of the corner and reverses their positions, leaning her own back into the turnbuckle as continues to smother. Jen rests her chin on the crown of Jessica’s head, cooing softly as she cradles Simpson’s face into her cleavage, as if whispering her to sleep. Blonde’s whimpers dwindle down to nothing, and Jennifer finally releases her, letting a jugged out Jessica puddle to the canvas.

Jennifer stares down at her hated rival, drinking in the sight of Jessica unconscious at her feet, relishing the moment for all it’s worth… then she glances up to see Scarlett still standing there, silent but seething, livid that Hewitt’s stolen it all and left nothing for her. All Jennifer can do is give a somewhat half-hearted and not-very-sincere shrug of apology for using up every last drop of Simpson. Oops…