Britney:  “Waiting for the next fighter to start round 7 … score is 57-55 McCarthy … and it looks like we have a malfunction with the sound system?    Is that …. Bobby Darin singing 'Mack the Knife'?  But … McCarthy’s already in the
ring! Uh oh …. this is going to be bad …. this is going to be reeeeeeally bad …. It’s …"

Man In The Hat:  “… it’s the one … the only …. the original … the REAL “Mack the Knife” …. Allison “Mack the Knife” Mack!”

Britney:  “Allison entering the ring … ‘Front Street Boxing' across the shoulders of that robe … and let me tell the people at home that this is pretty damn uncomfortable!  Jenny McCarthy practically ignoring Allison Mack and just positively glaring over here at the announcer’s table … pure unadulterated hatr-"

Man In The Hat (finishing Britney’s sentence): “… lust!  Yeah, I’m feeling it too, kid!  Girl’s been after the ol’ Wiz for months now …. and I told her … I GOT a girl … Beth … and a helluva a lot more woman than McCarthy’ll EVER be, but that’s
another story!”

Britney:  “Uhm …. We now interrupt this romantic interlude to bring you … a fight!  There’s the bell … both girls out of corner … no love lost here but not the wild Jenny of last round …”

Man In The Hat:  “Gotta respect Alli’s power, Champ!  McCarthy tries to bum rush Beckinsale?  She gets a bop on the nose!  Try the same move with Alli Mack?  You get a ride in an ambulance!”

Britney:   “Different look here for Allison … fighting out of crouch, Wiz."

Man In The Hat: "Level changes, Champ, just like we worked on."  

Britney: "Jenny Mac rotating to her left, a little cautious to start … Allison probing with jab from out of the crouch … and just like that this thing is ON!!!  McCarthy with stiff jab … followed by overhand right … skids off top of Mack’s head … Allison lets loose with both hands to body … heavy thump … J-Mac responds with uppercut that shakes Allison’s head … both girls letting hands fly and …

JENNY DOWN …. JENNY DOWN … JENNY DOWN … JENNY DOWN!!!”

Man In The Hat:  “It was the short right inside!!!  This is Sergio Martinez/Paul Williams all over again!  McCarthy pitching forward face first … nose in the canvas …. looks like she was flippin'’ ELECTROCUTED!!! Allison Mack with short picture perfect right hand!  McCarthy head up …. chin set up like a bullseye … wicked head whip when shot lands then slow crumble face first forward into the canvas!"

Britney:  “Referee’s count … five … six … she’ll never get up … nine … ten … you’re out!  Knockout at thirty six seconds of the seventh round … Allison … oh, I’ll just say it … Allison “Mack the Knife” Mack!!! There's Pandemonium in ring!  Assorted Front Street-er’s ringside going wild!  Nicole Scherzinger … in the ring …. in heels and a dress like a second skin … leapinginto the arms of Allison Mack!   Jamie Lynn just jumping up and down clapping with excitement !  Pink giving Allison huge double thumbs up! 

Man In The Hat: "On other side of ring we got chaos of a different vein!    Veteran Sceej corner Scrubby McGee, welterweight champ Gena Lee Nolin and lightweight champ Adrianne Palicki struggling to drag 118 pounds of dead weight up onto stool.  We've got a mic in the corner..."

Mcgee: “Quick …. Gimme da smellin’ salts … get some ice on her neck … Jenny …  Jenny Mac … c’mon … talk to me, goil!”

Britney: "Allison Mack leaving ring to huge applause … coming over this way...exchanges a resounding high five the Wiz."

Man In The Hat: "And there's one for her sparring partner, Britney Spears!"

Britney (covers mic with palm but still clearly audible):  “Smoked her, baby,
just smoked her!  Way to go, Alli!”

Man In The Hat:  “Kid,we have a lot of bantams at Front Street … a lot of great bantams, but with one right hand, you just scratched an itch that’s been annoyin’ me for a freakin' year and a half! Ain’t gonna forget this, kid, ain’t gonna forget this!”