Posted by Simguy on 6/25/2004, 7:29 am.

Before: Distant drums being beaten by BLONDE! Magazine for Cuoco/Biel--wouldn’t be the first time they’ve put the cart before the horse. Cuoco’s opponent no Jessica Biel--Melissa an undersized, undergunned opponent--similar in stature to Lori Loughlin--critics starting to wonder if Kaley’s being babied. “George gave Jennifer Garner hell,” Kaley says in prefight. “She’s small, but she’s a handful--to me Melissa’s a legitimate challenge--I can’t look past her.” Melissa in whit e two piece--Cuoco in white tankini stark against tanned flesh.

During R1: Kaley putting on a show--the kegs, the quick hands, the supple slips and step-outs. Melissa staying compact, risking little, but missing what she tries--Cuoco too nimble, too busy. Kaley content to spruce George up the jab, outclassing Melissa with curvy tanned legs for a bell to bell tactical shutout.

R2: Melissa doubling up her jab, recognizing she’s got to get closer to be competitive. George collapsing distance--end of Minute 1 she shaves Kaley’s chin a sudden right--Cuoco leaning away then bending down low with oily smooth upper body movement, George right hand at her cheek, bats hooks at Kaley’s right hip, tucks in behind the elbow then dips low, brings her shoulder up hard under Kaley’s chin and HOOKS THOSE TRUNKS! Heinous snapping off the pink, cramps Kaley up with a gasp--George with a tuff-bumping left elbow to space her blonde out, then a tidy swat-hook on the cheek, chopping right off the face and another bloodcurdling low-slung left--Cuoco doubled up in shock as Kaley fans scream indignation. George gets what she wants--a crippled and stationary Kaley--Mel slides her shoulder into Cuoco‘s chest and goes to work abs, ribs and youthful jug. Kaley showing pluck under adversity--face still tight with pain. Kaley showing pluck under adversity--face still tight with pain, she gets her left shoulder in there, rubbing and bumping on the inside, hacking righty to the waist and looking for cute poke-and-retract right uppercuts out of a screened stance. Even trade to the bell--Kaley protesting bitterly to the ref as George stalks to her corner all business.

R3: George attacking behind her jab, right hand at her cheek--lots of respect for Kaley’s well-scouted hook. Melissa hooking off the jab, weight in her front foot as she gets up into Kaley, but Cuoco’s not sticking around for lengthy exchanges. Cuoco pretty on the move--effortless mobility in either direction, jab looks from the shoulder or rising ff the hip, slick right hand leads often doubled up to George’s surprise. Mel defensively sound--high tight guard catching most of the Cuoco leather--Kaley not really setting down seems content to touch and go from the outside.

R4: Best two-way action of the night thus far--both women having their moments. Kaley nearly untouchable outside, jabbing smoothly, sliding in to hook Melissa’s tummy, sliding out to get hooks up top, George blocking and countering--reading Cuoco’s dangerous left hand pretty well, opportunistically scoring to the face and ribs with swatting, well-timed shots out of the guard. Cuoco the boss, circling, dictating--George just minding her chin, fighting in spots--pacing herself against young comp.

R5: Kaley starting to impose her athleticism--she’s clearly the quicker woman and when she wants to be, the much harder hitter. George crouching, keeping her elbows in, mitts up--Cuoco’s hook splattering loud across the back, flank and waist. Cuoco putting punches together, parceling out the beating in bursts. Nice moment late as George hunches forward off the ropes--Kaley picks up the lowered forehead with tight, skidding left/right uppercuts at the bell.

R6: Cuoco with feint, sudden lead right hand--poor Melissa’s stunned and reeling back on her heels, Kaley hopping right, hooking at George from the side, practically clothes lining Melissa with punches as she clatters backwards and GEORGE GOES DOWN! Melissa on her backside, staring eyes wide: the kid is quick, no doubt about it, Cuoco all smiles as she bops to the neutral corner--rolling her head side to side, hopping on the spot to stay loose--she’s starting to take ownership of her opponent and loving it. After 8, Kaley on the hunt--jabbing George around the ring, forcing her ropeside, tilting in close to rip snatching hooks to the belly, then clipping those tight skidding uppercuts as Mel tries to weave side to side with them. Cuoco really tearing up the gut, but she’s brushing Melissa with a lot of the combination punches, not really hurting her--George shutout, but recovering well with veteran savvy and tight defense at the ropes. At the bell--Kaley relaxes, pays the price--George with meanspirited calculated right hand spank off the trunks--poor Kaley’s shook as the ref reads heartless Melissa the riot act.

R7: Kaley still grouchy from the trunk-check, gets on Mel with jabs but takes an immediate right hand on the mouth as George stands in the pocket and lets the kid give up her height. Mel dipping inside, putting lefts and rights against the abdominal wall of her foe--Kaley clinches around the head and shoulders and GEORGE DIGS IN LOW! Cuoco shouting in agony--all anyone sees is Melissa’s little shoulders shrugging and rotating, piling up lefts and rights between Kaley’s hips, Kaley crumpling, badly softened up, butt back--George able to curl a tight right uppy to the chin inside Cuoco’s loose clinch. Kaley stunned, nit answering back--Melissa throws her shoulder repeatedly against Cuoco’s face to undo the rest of the clinch, then it’s a clambake! Poor Kaley staggering back--George swinging away both hands as she bounces forward, beating younger beauty to the ropes, Kaley hands up, blubbering, taking punches, not answering back and THE REF STEPS IN! Good lord--TKO7 upset, Melissa George.

After: George shows her pedigree as the fight’s waved off--landing a cheap late hook on the jaw over the ref’s shoulder as Kaley whines in weak-kneed protest. Cuoco in decent shape for a stoppage victim, but has to learn a cardinal rule: tears panic refs--never let ‘em see you blubber. Mel proving a nasty little spitfire, playing defense, giving up minutes to Cuoco, but establishing small things like distance and timing as Kaley built up the lead--sudden squall of fouls enough to render Cuoco momentarily defenseless. Set back, no doubt about it--a lot of girls who had been intimidated by Kaley’s shapely physique, flat abs and tireless legs are now writing down “Cuoco can be bullied” in wire notebooks all around the arena. George a blown up flyweight with legitimate reason to crow about this result, assiduously stresses the damage done by her UPPERCUT in the seventh as the decisive blow in the bout!

Reposted by Archer 6/26/11.