Posted by Simguy on 12/10/2004, 7:29 am.

Before: "Yeah, I saw 'The Closer'," shrugs Monaco indifferently. "To me, Natalie was miscast--totally over her head. I mean--the film was asking us to believe men could become obsessed with that (thumb in Nat's direction)--that's a pretty steep hurdle. Am I saying if you put a Kelly Monaco in that role, then you've really got something? Yeah, I guess I am--I mean--just look at us." Portman open-mouthed at the wanton disrespect. "Listen, you cheap daytime hack," Nat snaps, "You WERE just here because of Sarah, but congratulations: you've gotten my full attention now. It's almost as if you WANT me to knock you out." Monaco batting eyelashes, oozing contempt--rarely have we seen Portman so tempted to start a podium brawl. Nat in green/yellow. ivy leaf print bikini, bra straps, battle bikini--Monaco in black push up, leopard print bikini bottoms.

During R1: Portman hotblooded early right hand cocked at her shoulder, left low--she's ranging in and out, feinting with her head, roaming right and DROPPING BOMBS! Nat shearing in off Monaco's left shoulder and rifling in clocking right hand potshots--Nat connecting, then bounding away, smiling as Monaco goes wobbly butt moments in. Kelly struggloing forward. extending her hands plaintively after soaking up wallop--she's hurt, not processing in there. Portman attacking like never before--lunging, high-risk darting attacks--all right hands to the head and chin--the occasional clawing hook across the face on the way out. Attrition visible in Monaco's trembling legs, quivering backside--she's getting HARMED by Natalie's high-tempo strafing runs and doesn't have any answers. Late the round--Portman feinting to freeze her quarry, hop-stepping right almost posing in midair like a water-polo player getting ready to shoot, then piercing home that right hand to Monaco's available jaw. Too much for Kelly--legs finally give way--she's ramshackle, staggering to her right. Natalie jumping recklessly in--another right hand, ANOTHER--chasing Monaco to ropes. PORTMAN SQUARES AWAY! Natalie swat-hooking Kelly's cheek, slapping her face into position to receive right hands flush--devastating flyweight flurry explodes on a ravaged Monaco and HURTING KELLY GOES DOWN! Monaco in a fog, nose bleeding--she's hammered to an awakward seated position, knees at her chest and it's OVER! KO1 in blistering fashion, Natalie Portman.

After: Portman stalking off, nodding aggressiveky, hands high--highly motivated brunette polishes off big-talking daytimer with unprecedented fury. Camera pans to a non-plussed Sarah Michelle Gellar: arms crossed, lips pursed--nobody's less pleased to see Portman strutting all KO1 cocky. Monaco heloed to her stool and brought around--curvy soap pug better than this, but just never got out of the blocks--ambushed in broad daylight by amped up Nat.

Reposted by Archer 7/17/11.