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9 July 2011 Alesha Dixon vs Britney Spears

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 6 months ago

Alesha Dixon 02.jpg Britney Spears 11.jpg

Posted by BBU On HBO on 7/9/2011, 10:56 pm

BEFORE: "It seems people in America haven't figured out what the rest of the world already knows," says Alesha. "Britney Spears is washed up, musically, physically, and in the ring. She needs to step aside now before she becomes as pathetic as that old hag Madonna."

"I'm a has-been?" Britney asks with an ironic smile. "Well, Alesha is a 'who's she?'. I'd say no one will recognize her after this fight, but no one knows who the hell she is NOW."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "And welcome everyone to ringside here at the Trump Taj Mahal. Jennifer O'Dell along with Pam Anderson for 'BBU On HBO', and, Pam, interesting match up tonight, Alesha Dixon of the BBU against Britney Spears of the FCBA's Hour-Glass Fitness."

Anderson: "Contrasting styles tonight. Alesha a slick boxer. Uses the legs to stick and move. She's got some power, but not like Britney. Spears hits like a lightweight and prefers the close in stuff, where she's absolutely deadly. Spears is the favorite here, but Dixon's style reminds me of Summer Glau. If she can execute like Glau did, Dixon's going to have herself a signature win."

O'Dell: "And speaking of the lovely Ms. Dixon, to the strains of 'Drummer Boy', here she comes. Dixon up into the ring, off comes the robe to reveal a black bikini that has the crowd buzzing."

Pam: "There aren't a lot of women who are going to win the disrobe against Dixon at the moment..."

O'Dell: "And that's 'Circus' coming over the sound system and here comes my fellow Hall of Famer and the former FBCA bantamweight champion Britney Spears, accompanied by Allison Mack, Neve Campbell, Jewel, and Nicole Scherzinger...and Scherzinger and Dixon locking eyes right now...and let the jawing begin!"

Pam: "Alesha's making a mistake here. She can't be worrying about Nicole for a nanosecond. She's got one of the best fighters in the history of the FCBA in the opposite corner. All the rest is distraction."

O'Dell: "And speaking of distraction, the crowd is getting an eyeful of Britney's hot pink bikini, but Dixon and Nicole have eyes only for one another...Nicole inside the ring now, and the referee and corner people keeping the two apart. Referee going to order Nicole out of the ring here. She's locking eyes with Britney on the way out. Got something to say to her...no doubt reiterating exactly what part of Dixon's anatomy she'd like to see Britney kick..."

Pam: "And look who's waiting outside for Nicole with a big smile on his face!"

O'Dell: "Give me odds, Pam. What are the odds Wiz didn't orchestrate that whole thing?"

Pam: "Hugh Hefner dating someone his own age long."

O'Dell: "Wiz sticks out an arm, Nicole takes it, and he escorts her to his box with Dixon's eyes boring holes in her back the whole way."

Pam: "I'll say it again. She'd better start concentrating on Britney..."

O'Dell: "That's for certain because there's the bell and Dixon right across the ring to meet Spears! Rings her up with a three-punch combination to the head. Britney banging back to the body, bashing hooks to the flanks, willing to trade. Dixon lands to the head again. Spears hooks the kidneys. Hammer and tongs!"

Pam: "This is NUTS! That's not Nicole in there! Dixon can't stand in front of Britney like that..."

O'Dell: "DOWN GOES DIXON! OHHH! NASTY SHORT LEFT TO THE HEAD AND ALESHA'S LEGS WENT!"

Pam: "Like I said, she can't stand and trade with Britney..."

O'Dell: "Dixon to one knee at six. Getting up. Beats the count. Takes the eight and the referee waives Britney forward. Spears boring in, banging to the body, backing Dixon up. Alesha covering up, trying to clinch, but the blonde shoving free and getting off thick to the midsection and flanks. Thumping home big shots that have Dixon gasping in pain. Alesha just hanging on here. No legs. Trying to survive the round..."

Pam: "RIGHT HAND BRITNEY!"

O'Dell: "Dixon falling forward into Spears! Brit steps back and Alesha's down at her feet. There's the bell! The first is over, and none too soon for Alesha Dixon, who took an absolute pounding out there!"

Pam: "Check the replay of this right hand. Watch Brit's left shoulder. She dips it, shoves Alesha back just a bit with it, and here comes the right hand. BANG! Right on the chin and the only thing saving Dixon is the bell."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Bell sounds for the second and Dixon is looking a bit shabby off her stool, and Britney's going to meet her more than half way here. Alesha snaps out a jab, tries to circle, but Britney, walks through it, ties Dixon up, works her back toward the ropes, banging short hooks into the rib cage."

Pam: "Alesha tying up behind Brit's head, shoving her head down, wrestling with the blonde to try to get free, but she's not going to win a wrestling match with Britney Spears. No bantam is."

O'Dell: "Spears banging away to the body, smothering Dixon on the ropes, rips a nasty hook to the rack that shook Alesha! Dixon's hurt! Britney snaps the head back with a straight left, buries a right hook to the belly! Alesha folding up...AND DOWN SHE GOES! Short uppercut from Spears!"

Pam: "Dixon rolling to her hands and knees. Count's at six. Seven. Eight. She's going to beat it again. Referee looking closely. Giving the eight...going to let it go on...I'm not sure he should..."

O'Dell: "On comes Britney! Dixon trying to jab her off, get some space, but Spears isn't having any. Walking through, going back to the body, spanking that midsection, powering Dixon back into the ropes. Alesha trying to squirt free. Can't do it. Spears a hard right! Shook Dixon again. Alesha hanging on...and there's the bell. Dixon still hanging in the ropes as Britney goes back to her corner. She's barely making it to her stool..."

Pam: "Referee going over there. They may stop this right now. He's checking Dixon over...looks like he's going to let this continue."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "It will, indeed, and there's the bell for round three...and Dixon again meeting Brit in the center and firing bombs!"

Pam: "This time I get it. She's got no legs left. Might as well go down fighting."

O'Dell: "Alesha lands a nice left-right to the chin, SPEARS BURIES A LEFT HOOK TO THE SOLAR PLEXUS! FROZE DIXON SOLID! RIGHT HAND SPEARS! DOWN GOES DIXON!"

Pam: "It's over! Crushing right to the chin! Alesha flat on her back. Hands over her head. Not moving at all. Referee's count at eight. Nine. Ten! That's it! Wow! KO3 in dominating fashion for Britney Spears!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Pam Anderson."

Pam: "Britney, were you surprised when Alesha came right after you like that?"

Britney: "Sure was. I expected her to box. Stick and move. She's got guts, so I knew she wouldn't run and hide like Glau did, but I expected a lot of movement. But, don't get me wrong, I was pretty happy she decided to slug with me. You can do that against Britney Spears. You just can't do it for long."