Posted by INDIE TIMES on 7/14/2011, 9:15 am

PINDER TO PLAY DOG-CATCHER VS PERRY

That's the talk coming out of Lucy's Liverpool training camp these days. "I'm putting Perry's puppies in the pound!" Lucy chirps to anyone who'll listen. "It's the biggest mistake of Katy's life, facing me in a boxing ring for money. I've loads of big-jug hitting-power, and I mean to use every ounce of it!"

PRETTY LITTLE LIAR LAUNCHES SCUD

"I'm the biggest and strongest of the PLL," lovely SHAY MITCHELL boasts in a recent interview, "and as I look at the CW for potential debut-opponents, there's only one girl I really want: the so-called 'hegemon' Aly Michalka!" When asked if that might be a humungous bite to be taking for a coming-out contest, Mitchell is uber-confident: "I'm CW tuff, and I'm one of the best pure athletes on television. I know there's girls like Accola and Fonseca and that bimbo from Bev-niner who are size-appropriate, but I just think I can come right in and establish. Beating Aly just proves that CW girls are all hype!"

PHOTO: Shay Mitchell working pads!
http://justjaredjr.buzznet.com/photo-gallery/374363/shay-mitchell-kick-boxing-03/

BILSON UNIMPRESSED BY SCERBATRIX

"Scabs is a little bimbo," Rachel B told the INDIE TIMES at a recent presser. "I'm a movie star - a headline act - a marquee fighter. I've got my own show: what does she have? Soup on Saturday nights in a trailer somewhere? I will beat down Cassie Scerbo, and that's only just the beginning!"

GARRETT SET TO MAKE HISTORY!

Beautiful Beau Garrett is on-weight and looking to shock the world against Charlize Theron. "I can't wait," says the Sensuous Stunner. "Charlize is what it's all about: I beat that, and I matter. With a CT notch on my belt, I can haul Swan back in for a rematch on my terms; I can dictate to other independents like Molly Sims or even Cindy Crawford...it's a huge fight for me in terms of positioning!"

DRIVER ALSO EYEING HISTORY BOOKS!

"When I look at my career," Minnie told INDIE TIMES at a recent junket, "one regret I have is that I didn't fight Cat Bell 7 times. 4 wins against her could have made a big difference to my legacy, but whatever: it's water under the bridge. She's fit; I'm strong and ready to rock her world...there's no reason why I can't beat Cat Bell at this time."

LOHAN/CRUZ...SUPERFIGHT?

"It feels that way," Lilo says in a recent sit-down with IT, "it's got a Superfight vibe to it for sure. I feel like the whole world is against me - all the blogs, all the tabloids... I've got Pene Cruz coming in at the peak of her powers - all that beauty, box-office, and boxing skill just hurtling towards me...but I'm up for it! This is where Lindsay Lohan turns things around - by standing up to an Oscar Winner and treatin' her shabby!"