REMEMBERING "SNARKY MARKIE" POST
Posted by simguy on 7/11/2011, 10:18 am
First: a little bikini-ref for Snarky Markie in her prime, showing her OWNING a beach on "Fall Guy".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMrnud0KXDs
This is a level of "beach command" that we see in today's Laura Vandervoort or Nicole Scherzinger.
CAREER HIGHLIGHTS
Held a career all-in (ie: boxing or wrestling) head-to-head advantage over Victoria Principal for three years before the hall-of-famer was able to reel her in. Often cited by Principal as one of the toughest opponents Vicki ever faced.
The first Thomas/Post boxing match is widely cited by many pundits as the greatest 10 round contest ever fought between network stars (a disputed one point decision for the favourite Heather Thomas). Post dropped Thomas with a body shot in the second round - the first time that had ever ever happened to Heather.
Came from behind to KO highly favoured Farrah Fawcett with recently divorced Lee Majors in the audience.
Knocked out Jane Fonda in the only boxing match the two would ever have.
Was reputed to have "dominated" Bo Derek when John Derek brought Markie out to the ranch as a lead sparring partner. No footage has been found, but eye-witnesses say Markie owned Bo at the ropes with her raking hook to the body. Bo Derek has never commented on the sessions.
Was reputed to be one of the best body punchers ever produced by Network television (and still ranked as a top 10 all-time name in that regard).
Led the feared Fall Guy tag-tandem of Heather Thomas and herself and dominated network tag-team fighting in their era (despite the bitter acrimony between Thomas and Post). Lynda Carter once called Markie "The best tag-team ring-general I've ever seen." Markie's book "The Art of Tag" is required reading at all Disney fight-prep schools.
Earned her nick-name "snarky" by reducing Audrey Landers to tears in pre-fight events leading up to their boxing match. Landers - a well respected up and comer at the time - never fought to her potential as Markie dominated.
Fighting at lightweight later in her career, Markie is credited by most scholars for finally ending the boxing career of Raquel Welch. Welch - well past her prime and advised against the contest - took a horrific beating. It's a fight that Post "regrets to this day," as hammering a shot Raquel actually HURT Markie's popularity amongst fans to whom Welch was still a living legend.
CAREER LOWLIGHTS
Never defeated Janet Jones in six encounters (2 apartment, 1 beach wrestling and 3 beach-boxing contests).
Came in as favourite and got outfought by Erin Moran. Considered an aberration as most of Markie's losses came against taller/heavier foes.
Took the worst beating of her career from Randi Oakes - a fight that caused Markie to temporarily suspend boxing operations. Seeking revenge in a free-style beach brawl, Markie was quickly hammered into submission again.
Suffered a KO1 against the rangy/dangerous Connie Selleca.
Lost a special "Jugs vs Legs" submission contest to Susan Anton. Anton submitted Markie in under a minute with a full body scissor, while it took Post's breasts almost 5 full minutes to put Anton into Jug Shock.
Failed in her bid to unseat Lauren Tewes as the "house champion" on board the Pacific Princess. Tewes proved to be one of the few pure boxers who could consistently side step Markie to turn her flanks.
Admitted to being "star struck" when she faced Ann Margaret - the fighting-icon to which Markie is most often compared in terms of fighting traits. Post suffered a hard beat, and ate more hooks to the body than she delivered.
BEST TIME-MACHINE BOUTS
Using sophisticated state-of-the-art super-computers out of Palo Alto (re-assigning said computers from national defence simulations; astronomical and weather projections; fluid dynamics and the like) and proprietary fight-simulation software from the FCBA skunkworks, it has been determined that the following fantasy matchups would produce the most dynamic and visually appealing results:
POST/SCHERZINGER
POST/VANDERVOORT
POST/HU (prime Hu)
POST/ALBA (prime Jess)
In each case, it is thought that Markie's "smart-pressure" fighting style - but not overwhelming one-punch power - would force engagements upon these usually elusive fighters, leading to spectacular, toe to toe fireworks.
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