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31 July 2011 Carmen Electra vs Julianne Hough

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 5 months ago

CELEBRITY BOXING AFTER DARK

(@110 lbs)

Posted by simguy on 7/31/2011, 12:40 pm

BEFORE: "I'm ready to tear it up on Carmen!" Chirps young, effervescent dancer Julianne in prefight. "I'd say I'm physically the most dominant figure at 110, but I need ringwork: battling a legend like Electra lets me show my wares AND fine-tune my game...win-win!" Electra dropping back down to 110 to take advantage of the opportunity - aging phenom one of the few celebs who'll fight a pro-dancer without batting an eyelash. "Whatever - dancer-shmancer," Carmen says, dismissing the threat of Julianne with a wave. "Sometimes 'Hough', ain't enough! The kid is quick - I'll give her that - but I was swappin' leather with Lucy Liu when Julianne was still suckin' teat! Too much curvy power on my side: I'll hurt this girl - drop her - and if she's dumb enough to get up, I will turn her lights out. Promise!"

Carmen in striped bikini as per:
http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/photo.php?id=geri_halliwell_carmen_electra_3&title=Geri%20Halliwell%20Carmen%20Electra&loc=3

Julianne in pink ruffled bikini as per:
http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/photo.php?id=lindsay_lohan_julianne_hough&title=Julianne%20Hough%20Lindsay%20Lohan%20Pictures&loc=3

CBAD flyweight fight - conducted outside, high noon, ring set up on Atlantic City's boardwalk. Juli using one of her own country songs for ring-entrance music, but it's a mistake as Carmen comes bopping down to The Knack's "Good Girls Don't (but I do)" - thereby winning the music-choice battle on all cards.

During R1: Carmen flat footed but supple - crouching, bending at the waist, looking to creep-step and pounce, her left hand dangling/right hand at her chest/left shoulder pointed at Julianne. Hough all about legs and footwork - now threatening to dance in, now dancing to her left - twitching feints with her shoulders. Light dusting of jabs from Julianne, frosting Carmen's tummy or tits as Hough doubles up while rotating crisply clockwise. Carm turning, crouching, looking to slip-and-counter Juli's feather-light jab with swift right hands. Electra juuust grazing Juli's chin on occasion...dancer turning her head with the shot, keeping her feet moving to nullify the impact. Meanwhile, Hough's hands touching all over Carmy, head to hip - nothing hard - maybe the occasional biting hook to paunch-meat: just Hough being quick-and-pretty outside, capturing points, staying safe.

R2: Same again - Carmen crouching, creep-stepping, trying to cut the ring off, but even she can't match Julianne's lithe ring management. Hough untouchable outside - springy legs motoring her clockwise; fat-free body hardly breathing hard despite high movement-tempo. Hough letting hands go in feathery bursts - shoe-shining Carmen's tummy; cuffing a double hook to Carmy's right ear when Electra shows earmuff; triggering cute double right hands straight up the middle, punching at Carm's mouth or tits. Right hand counters from Carm just a touch late - grazing connects brushing Juli as she's leaning away, making her escape. Another round for Hough's sleek legs and darting attacks...Electra scowling, getting touched for points through 2.

SLOW-MO HIGHLIGHT: HOUGH CHIP-AND-PIVOT ROUTINE: Juli touching out her left jab (ie: the "chip")...Carmen weaving forward, crouching low in earmuff...Juli extends right hand to tap top of Carmen's skull; bats left hook to Carmy's right ear while initiating pivot-left; slaps another hook while completing pivot - now Juli's off Carmen's right flank. Electra turning in crouch - mitts at cheekbones: wide-eyed Juli lathers a limber left across Carmen's back; repeats the motion - fist thump-skidding on lathering contact. Juli already bending back on her hips in anticipation of Carmen's receipt-right hand...Electra juuust a hair short as Juli pivots clockwise, once again exposing Carmen's starboard flank...Carmy turns to stay square, grunts as Juli fits a digging little right uppercut just underneath the jug-line. Juli's face: sweaty, smiling slightly. Carmen's face: grumpy, flushed.

R3: Third straight for Julianne. Same story: Carmen trying to time Julianne for fight-ending power counters; Hough's legs denying Electra position and intitiave - constantly turning the fight clockwise, midring. Hough flicking a pesky double jab at Carm's body; Hough pursing her lips and lathering shoe-shine combos with her elbows in tight to her body, then finishing with two right hands and maybe a hook up top as Carm's covering up in confusion. Juli just too quick - not hurting Electra, but sprinkling her with leather, just dusting and dousing her, then sidestepping to fresh canvas. Electra banking the same grazing counter shots up top, but too infrequently to matter: another round for Hough's legs has the little dancer glowing through 3.

R4: Same again, only a shutout for Hough this time. Electra looking grumpy - closing on Juli, forming earmuff, staying low...then getting batted, cuffed, lathered and sidestepped by Hummingbird Hough. Julianne basically a leg show, spiced up with twitchy little feints, double right hand pokes to set up cuffing hooks, and flashy, shoe-shine combos. None of it hurting or moving Electra, but all of it effectively freezing Camy until Julianne's done...Hough using every inch of ring, dictating all terms to a legend through 4...Juli's smiling wide en route to her corner.

R5: Carmen turns bully to good effect - bodying Julianne to ropes, crowding and plowing. Top of Carm's head pressed against Juli's upperchest; Carm's left arm snaked under Juli's right, the left hand curling around Hough's right shoulder to lock her in place. Carm working right hands to Hough's flat gut - just shoving 'em in stout, then looking to come off the body and catch Juli short n' clouting to chin. Hough grimacing - getting pushed against ropes, catching thick leather amidships. Juli without a lot of answers...she's trying to tie-up-and-spin her way clear, but Carmen's too strong - easily wrestling Hough back into taking position. Hough scampering clear whenever there's a ref's break, but Carmy doing a good job lunging for Juli, bodying her tuff to ropes, and re-securing top-position. Not Electra's usual fight, but it's effective against will-o'-the-wisp Julianne through 5.

R6: Back to business for Hough - limber legs propelling her in clockwise circles; coming in off flicking jabs or feints to pat Carmen down with both hands in combination. Electra covering up, then countering a smidge-late...grazing contact only for Electra's once-feared right hand. Hough saucy in spots - jabbing Carm into earmuff front, then lashing her waistline limber rights and lefts. Electra's taut tummy takes the bite no problem, but its pinking up nicely under Hough's licking scrutiny.

R7: Hough getting off - playing touch and go; Carm grumpy in pursuit, not used to being the slower vixen. Minute in...wide, bendy hook lands clean for Julianne, slapping Carmy loud along her jaw...Electra blinking confused in receipt. Juli spots the hurt...she triggers the pinpoint straight right hand - punching Carmen's head back; Electra still blinking/staring, so Julianne doubles the straight right hand, putting a little extra mustard on it. Electra finally looking startled and hurt, stumbling to her right: wide, slapping hook brushes at her lips, spooking her upright where a slinging right cross cashes in her mouth. Electra sputtering backwards into ropes: Hough hopping-to, dosing Electra's jugs a sudden swishing burst of lefts and rights side-to-side, then setting down on three chopping right hands to jaw - all with the right elbow down and held close to Juli's body. Electra swooning, sliding hurt to her right...Juli stepping-with, blue eyes sparkling. Hough letting one-twos go at Carmy up top, then coming back via biting, snatching left uppercut to body - Juli really victimizing Electra downstairs, finally digging at her with finishing ferocity. Cuffing right-hand buggy whips wipe at Carmen's tummy or hip - usually just to set up a fresh combination pattern. That's the way of it - Electra open-mouthed, helpless, sliding along ropes...Hough pouring it on in measured bursts, setting down more on her shots now that Electra's visibly crumbling. Crumbling or no, Carmen keeps her feet, takes a pasting and makes it to the bell through 7.

R8,9,10: Juli's seen enough: she went for the stoppage, couldn't get it - now she turns the fight over to her legs as Electra obviously can't catch her now. Hard to watch in some respects as still-athletic Carmen just can't find the range or pull the trigger...Hough heartless on the outside, just embarrassing Electra with hand and foot speed. But it's not altogether a crowd-pleasing sort of dominance...Julie obviously with air-supremacy at this point, can come and go as she pleases, can touch Carmen at will...but it's all slap-and-tickle shoeshines or flicking jabs - nothing that can really hurt Electra. Carm plays her part - turning and turning midring, making menacing crouches and attempting a few aggressive pounces, but she just has no answer. Comes back wide UD10 Julianne Hough - that million watt smile undiminished by the smattering of boos in the otherwise largely pro-Hough applause.

After: "Because that's Carmen Electra over there," Julianne explains, when asked in post-fight why she didn't use her tactical superiority to push for a stoppage. "I felt her power even if she wasn't landing clean, and I didn't WANT her to land clean. I had her hurt and ready to go in the 7th, but she's a proud former champion and she just would not give in to me. But that's fine - if I have to win a fight with my legs, I have no problem doing that. And I think everyone needs to realize what happened here tonight: my legs beat Carmen Electra's legs, and there's not a whole bunch of flyweights can make that claim!" Juli! Juli! What's next for you at 110? "Well, I feel I'm really overlooked, and maybe a little ducked. I'm like a young, hot Sarah Carter, only classy and nice, and a WAY better dancer - so ideally, any fight she could make, I'd be a better choice in her spot. Pene Cruz would look good taking one of my pastings; Zoe Saldana's a girl who could match my skills...obviously, tramps like Dobrev or Meester would be tasty for me, though I doubt they could keep up with my legs. So I don't know - I just have to keep shining against Carmen Electra level comp and hope someone with a name makes a big mistake!"