Posted by Simguy on 8/25/2007, 9:48 am.

Before: critics say it’s way too early; Harris won’t hear of it. Maybe this is showing my cards, but I don’t care,” a very serious Danneel says I preflight, “but Jessica Alba is the reason I’m in the FCBA. I look at her, and I have to admit: I want everything she’s got--the movies, the press, the cover-shoots, the fans--all of it. When you look at us, we’re two peas in a pod--except my legs are better and I think I’m a little prettier. I could be sneaky about this, but that’s not really my style--I’m just sating flat out that I want to take everything Alba’s got away from her; I want to take her place at the head of Young Hollywood and the time to start chipping away at her is right now.” Alba pursing her lips---been a long time since a young up-and-comer has actually targeting her, despite Jessi being on top of the food chain celebrity-wise, “Danneel’s got what I call ‘pre-fight attitude’, you know?” Jessica sneers. “All tuff and blustery--gonna kick my ass, gonna do this, gonna do that. She’s Piper Perabo. She’s Lexa Doig, She’s all the girls who wish they could be me, but never can be. And like them, she’s gonna realize that me being where I am is no accident.” Harris in pale blue lace bra, low rise navy hipster panties, white gloves, Alba in yellow bikini, white gloves; long low ponytail.

During R1: Classy wide-ranging action, Girls snarling, circling well outside, attacking behind feints and good stiff jabs. Both girls pounce-stepping a bit, occasionally eschewing the jab to lead with power--both a little too spring-legged and alert to get caught. Down the stretch, Alba hooking at Danneel--Harris covering up and ducking: Jessi steps right like she’s circling away, then leans back in with a slinging right, catching Danneel emerging from her crouch to pursue. Head-snap Harris--she’s stunned, legs giving way--right knee touches down as Alba glares, struts past all proud of herself.

R2: Similar wide-ranging fare--not a lot of meaningful punches as both women look to undress the other with classy footwork. Alba’s ring generalship superior at this point: she’s wrong-footing Dannee, feinting her, leaving redhead susceptible to scoring blows.
Harris moving her head, keeping hands up--she’s not getting hit clean with anything serious  Jessica’s jab loose and darting--slight backhand motion off the hip as she snaps it out there, keeping Harris under wraps. Lots of expressive snarls and flashing eyes: girls couldn’t be any prettier if they tried.

R3: Good round for Dannee, She doubles her jab, threatens Jessica with right hands--Alba slips these, but Harris finishing up with tight, snappy hooks to force Jessica into retreat. Alba scowling, loping the perimeter--her output drops as Dannee becomes the aggressor. Harris walking Jessica down--but doing it smart: Dannee’s seen plenty of tape of Jessica walking unwary aggressors onto savage counter uppercuts and the like.

R4: Little more stand-and-deliver as both women get comfortable with the other’s speed and look. Alba weight on front 9left) foot as she seeks dip-n’-rip left uppercuts, curling ‘em lanky across Danneel’s front, or tucking ‘em in under the elbow. Jess also loves the lead right, followed by a carving hook as she’s shifting weight to her back (right) foot--neatly combining offense with defensive distance-changes. Harris defensively sound--electing to block and roll, getting as close to Jessica as she can: down the stretch, Danneel’s incremental positioning pays off. Right hand strokes Jessica’s chin as she’s pulling back--blonde ponytail tosses, head swivels as JESSI’S HURT! Alba trots away damaged, face concerned: Harris grinning, pounces in a wide right hand, taking Jessica loud in her lower back. Alba sobbing aloud, cringing--she covers up earmuff, tilts forward into rude finishing flurry which sees Harris clean up big, steal all the points in what should have been Jessi’s round.

R5: Dannee--what about all that tape you watched! Harris excited, buoyed by Jessica’s plaintive wailing in the fourth--redhead comes out all big-girl, looking to put pressure on and DANNEEL GOES DOWN! Savage licking blast--Jessica twisting into her oily hook, timing Harris on the way in, popping those supple hips-right, catching Dannee behind her right ear. Jessica with her left elbow down, left shoulder pulling through the delivery--she gets every ounce of sinewy leverage she can muster into the shot, dashing poor Harris to the canvas, Danneel suddenly a dazed, ruined beauty--she’s on her face, gets to her knees, flops to her left side, rolls to her back, gets to her knees again--pitches face-first and rump-up into canvas and it’s OVER! KO5 in shocking fashion--Jessica Alba.

After: To Jessica go the spoils--she yanks her hands free of her gloves and marches into Dannee’s corner, pulling the woozy redhead to her feet by her left arm. Jessica seething, tugging Dannee roughly, securing her about the waist with the right hand, Walk of shame from Alba meant to break the upstart’s spirit for good and all: Harris tight-lipped, fighting back tears as she propelled about the ring. Jess stopping at one point to watch the Jumbotron replays of the knockout, cuddling Danneel close and taunting her: “OH! God, did you see that? KaPOW (plants big bruising kiss upside Danneel’s head) I LOVE that you thought you could win this thing. Lookhereitcomesagain! Here it comes,,,OH! Oh God, look at you flopping around--look! Oh hat’s priceless.” On and on--we’ve rarely seen Jess make this kind of effort to break a girl. Harris stiff in Alba’s right-armed embrace, staring shiny-eyed at the screen. Out of great humiliations are great vengeances born: Jessica Alba’s just made herself an enemy for life.

Reposted by Archer 8/25/11.