JMD (Jugs of Mass Destruction) Bout

Posted by Simguy on 7/28/2007

Before: Countless tank tops, tshirts, angora sweaters and the like - ruined in the almost non-stop prefight brawling between these two: youtube carrying most of the impromptu action as one press conference after another devolves into mindless catfighting. "It's all because Britney's a fat pig nobody wants to look at any more, and I'm so hot she can't take it," Jess tells BLONDE! magazine. "When my jugs stop her jugs, I hope she just crawls under a rock somewhere and never comes out again!" Britney a little more collected in her comments later on in the same article. "I blame the Krushers," Spears says, when asked to explain the disorderly conduct in weeks leading up to contest. "They've got Jessica so jacked up to fight me - they've encouraged her to go right at me on sight. I've had no choice but to slap her down. Sometimes, when I see her being led into the room, I can see it in her eyes that we're going to go, so I just jump her. Why wait for her to wade in swinging?" Britney in hot pink bra, pastel pink panties, white gloves; blonde curls up in hasty beach bun. Jessica in hot pink Dukes bikini, white gloves - long blonde tangle-curls wild down her back. For JMD, fighters are supposed to press a mitt LIGHTLY into each other's jugs before turning away: snarling Simpson shoves a hard right hand into Spears' jugs, prompting yet another unscheduled scuffle as girls tumble to canvas all entangled.

During R1: Wild bumper-car slugging - girls pitching from their hips, staggering around off balance - jugs jiggle-jumping as they stomp to a stop to right themselves. Shrieking: girls hollering like a pair of Japanese wrestlers as they swing away. Buffetting contact - each girl scoring wild, reckless roundhouses at points during first minute milling - crowd hooting at the bawdy tough-woman type action. Midway through, Jess beats Britney to the punch - fitting a joyous right hand inside Spears' winging left: Brit's head kicks back and around, knees a-knockin'. Jess piles into bra with a clobbering left, then clouts Brit another looping right as Spears totters backwards. Ropes: Jessica storming in - top of her head PLOWING into Britney's rack: plaintive wail from Spears as ref shouts a warning. Chugging burst amidships - Jess head down, shoulders rotating - fists spanking away on tanned thigh, pink panties, brown tummy as Brit gurgles, folds forward. Jess a non-stop slugging machine - baring her teeth as she hammers away up-torso, CLEANING UP ON JUG! Spears taking a horrific jug-mugging - mouth open in shock: she curls to her right side, giving up her back and left flank as she slumps against the ropes. CLAMBAKE! Jessica glorying in the moment - slugging mindlessly at the thigh, buttock, tummy and back - little blonde going at the bigger with winging, sidearm lefts and rights. Quite a sight: Britney covering her head, squealing from a bad dose of ass-kicking: Jessica's curvy body all a-quiver - buttocks trembling, jugs sloshing, golden locks tossing as she hustles leather onto cowering champion. Bell: Jessica screeching at Britney "I'M BETTER!" Spears weepy, still crouching/covered up: she's veteran enough to know that Jess WILL hit her until ref actually intervenes.

R2: Britney hard-eyed - big body proves resilient - she shakes off Simpsy's bombardment. Spears flat-footed, but springy: she's not buying into the crazy, pell-mell swinging - now stepping to spots, fading back, letting Simpson swing herself off balance. Jessica whaling away in first minute - but missing badly as Spears refuses to join in. Second minute, Britney timing Jess, slips a series of Simpsy lefts and rights that have Jessica falling forward. Brit in deep crouch, suddenly answers back a vicious lead left uppercut - thing we're used to seeing from a Lucy Liu or Carmen Electra: punch takes Jessica flush under her chin, shutting off command-and-control to her legs. Simpsy stepping in fence post holes, hands at her tummy: Britney smooth-pivoting to her left, coming up a little behind and to Jessica's right. Swinging sidearm right blindsides Jess, taking her in her unsuspecting gut: she cries out, pitches forward, hugging herself. Spears with another little shift-left, snarls as she loads up and shoves a right hand pump-style into the presented Simpson buttocks, sending fleshy shockwave ripples throughout the region. Simpson bawling, stumbling forward, crowd roaring at the sight of those jostling jugs as she hits face-first to ropes: Britney rushing in from behind, pancakes Jess to cables with a beefy slap of inner right thigh moist against Simpsy's tanned lower back. Spears working hard, peels Jess off ropes, pushes her back down to expose her front and BRITNEY VISITS JUGG-TOWN! Simpson blurting out in pain and astonishment: big girl goes at smaller girl's bigger hooters with torrid abandon. Britney just plowing away - even using the left hand to palm Jessica's forehead back while slopping home workmanlike rights to rack. Brit tucking in compact lefts - all shoulder and back - just shruggin' 'em in snug, then back the other way righty. Pushing and shoving to constantly sort Jessica out and keep her stabilized. Simpsy blubbering and wailing, but brave enough to face into it: well-trained Krusher refusing to give up her back as Britney plunders at will. It's too much - Jessica unhinged, helpless, getting her breasts battered and walloped - she's slumped against ropes, curvy legs holding her up as arms drop to her side, head lolls back to bare her throat. Ref steps in as he reads Jessica's defenceless body language and cuddles her to safety. TKO2 Britney Spears.

After: Spears retains the tiara, withstanding a typically robust start from Simpson, then answering in terms the smaller beauty simply couldn't handle. Simpson crying, dazed at the ropes as her gloves are removed: in her heart, she's the queen of JMD - she just can't understand it when her jugs get stopped by somebody elses. Indignant Britney pushes her way in all frowns and bared teeth: she wants what's hers.

Brit pulls Jessi's left arm, spinning the girl-to, reaching under her arms, practically lifting her up off the canvas to slam her back into the Krusher turnbuckles. Simpsy pancaked - shouting out in shock: Spears still embracing Jess up under armpits, anchoring her for a series of thick left thigh-lifts moist to tummy. Poor Jessi shouting "OH!" as she's tummy-pumped: Spears pushing most of the air out of her curvy little nemesis before slapping on the reverse-sleeper with a beefy clapping of brawny limbs. Jessica's face secured against Britney's heaving rack: Spears glaring as her right hand curls into a fist atop Jessi's head, clenching soft blonde hair at the scalp. Nothing fancy - Brit's strong legs stamping at canvas to push Jess into turnbuckle; Brit's rounded shoulders and full biceps grinding and cinching, keeping Jess from turning her head even a smidge to the side. Poor Simpsy! Jess reflexively hugging Britney about her waist, then moving her hands up Brit's back to pull weakly at Spears' shoulders.

Eventually, inevitably, Simpsy's legs give way. Britney feels her foe's body slackening, steps away to let Simpsy collapse to her haunches.

Jessica: slouched against turnbuckle; face clammy and shiny, eyelashes fluttering, lips parted; hair all damp and clinging wet to her face, shoulders, breasts; hands palm up, resting on the canvas - she's just spent. BUT BRITNEY WANTS MORE! Spears stoops, roughly pulls at Jessica's arms to get her out of the corner, laying the blonde on her back. Simpsy groaning pathetically, trying to roll over, but Spears pushes her flat, kneeling near Jessica's head.
Spears hovering close, reaches her hands in under either Simpson arm, curling fists into the damp mass of Jessica's hair. Securing Jessica thus, Britney presses her chest back down onto Simpson's face - Britney extending her legs out behind her, lying heavily atop her helpless foe.

Poor Simpsy! Jessica immobile beneath the weight of Britney; Jessica's arms reaching up under Britney's, linking up in a light hug around Brit's upperback. Simpson's legs lift weakly up - tummy trembling with the effort - then kick out - again - again - heels slamming sadly against canvas. Jess then digs in with her feet, knees up: with her counter-grip around Britney's upperback, Jess tries to turn Spears over - but there's too much Britney, and she's too fresh. Spears managing the roll attempts, keeps Jessi flat on her back. Spears becoming calm - turning her head to rest her right cheek against Jessi's upturned breasts and sternum, lying there as Simpson's struggles slowly cease. Finally, Spears pushes up to her haunches, revealing a 100% used up Jessica Simpson, her arms flopping out to either side, - she's sleeping deep, dreaming of jugg. Spears on her haunches, staring down - taking a moment to be pretty as she contemplates her jugged-out rival.