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28 August 2011 Pink vs Shania Twain

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 4 months ago

Pink 02.jpg Shania Twain 03.jpg

"HOT AUGUST NIGHT AT THE ASYLUM"

Site: The Asylum Arena, Philadephia, Pennsylvania

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on 8/28/2011, 1:25 am

BEFORE:

"I respect Shania both as a fighter and a singer, " says Pink. "She's a champion and an award winner. She gave a fight to Jewel, who's plenty tough. And I can testify, because I spar with her every week. But. Tonight Shania's got...well...'Trouble.'"

"Pink is strong, tough, quick," says a smiling Shania. "She's better than Jewel. But, I'm better than I was when I fought Jewel. Had to knock some rust off that night. It's all gone now. And tonight's the night Shania ends Pink's 'Perfect' run at Front Street."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside for the Main Event, and Pink wasn't kidding about respecting Shania. That's 'Trouble' we're hearing and Pink's coming out first."

McCarthy: "Classy move. Not something you'd expect from FRONT STREET..."

O'Dell: "Jewel helps Pink off with the robe and...well. Pinkness all serious business, I suspect. Black bikini with white SKULLS on it. Early for Hallowe'en, so, I suspect she may be making a statement. And, there's 'I'm Gonna Getcha Good!' And here comes Shania. As she makes her way to the ring, Mac, handicap this one for me..."

McCarthy: "Well, Twain couldn't beat Jewel, who's near the bottom of the bantam heap at Front Street. Pink's their BEST bantam, so..."

O'Dell: "Well, I don't know about that..."

McCarthy: "Oh, don't talk to me about The Original Dancing Hooker Scherzinger! She's overrated!"

Tess: "I think Jenny might have meant Allison..."

McCarthy: "I'm WARNING you, Walmart..."

Tess: "'Mack The Knife' Mack. You know, the girl who babified you at 'The Gauntlet'..."

McCarthy: "THAT'S IT, WALMART! WE'RE GOING RIGHT NOW!"

Tess: "Sounds good. I can use a hundred thousand dollars!"

McCarthy: "YOU..."

***
ROLLER BOOGIE II: THE FLICKERING TORCH MYSTERY

Starring:

Shaun Cassidy
Janet Louise Johnson
Pamela Sue Martin
Parker Stevenson
Donna Pescow

And

Jerry Mathers as "The Beaver"

***
O'Dell: "...IN FCBA HISTORY THAT HBO HAS DUMPED OUT OF THE BROADCAST BEFORE THE FREAKING FIGHT! What? We're back on? Sorry for that technical glitch, ladies and gentlemen. Back now at ringside. Shania is ready to go in a silver bikini. Instructions given to both fighters. Back to their corners. And, there's the bell. Pink moving quickly forward looking to engage, but Shania lands a couple of quick left jabs and circles away. Pink stalking, but Shania using the legs. Sticks the left. Again. And she's gone."

McCarthy: "This is what Twain was able to do early against Jewel, but, at her age, you have to wonder if she can do it for an entire fight."

O'Dell: "Nice stop and pop right there for Shania! Let Pink get into range, landed a left-right. Ducked a right hand counter and circled out of trouble."

McCarthy: "For any fans who don't remember Shania's heyday and wonder why she was a champion, you're seeing it."

O'Dell: "Sticks the left. Doubles. Takes a right to the ribs. Long gone by the time the overhand left whistles by. OH! Powders Pink's face right there! Three straight quick jabs, a step back away from a right, one more jab and out of dodge. This is a boxing clinic..."

McCarthy: "If Shania can keep doing this, it's Pink who'll be in 'Trouble'."

O'Dell: "That's the bell and the first is all Shania."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "On to the second now, and Twain back on her bike. She's sticking that left, showing good movement. Angles. Motion. Back. Left. Right. Pivots. Right hand lead, Twain. Pink stalking. Unable to get off."

McCarthy: "Shania's really showing her class. Pink's a good bantam. Not in MY league, of course, but..."

O'Dell: "Pink lands a hard right! Shania felt that one. The blonde finding the range now. Snapping out a jab, digging a hook to the guts. OH! SHANIA'S HURT! Big overhand right!"

McCarthy: "Twain's wobbly! Pink's going to work!"

O'Dell: "The blonde snaps the head back with the left, hooks body with the right. Shania being driven back into the ropes. Twain doesn't have the legs to get out of there right now. Pink going body. Working the ribs and belly. UPPERCUT to the chin. Shania hurt again. Hanging on right now!"

McCarthy: "She's fighting on instinct!"

O'Dell: "Covering up as Pink hammers at her arms and gloves. Snaps the head back with a right hand lead. Bell. And none too soon for Shania. Big round for Pink evens those cards!"

McCarthy: "Check the replay on the right hand. Watch as Pink hooks the body with the left. Shania bends just a bit and here comes the right over the left glove. BANG! Nice and clean."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Back to live action in the third now, and Pink moving right at Shania. Twain still lacking the legs. Pink in close, working the body. Shania slapping out a jab, trying to cover up. OH! DOWN GOES TWAIN! BIG OVERHAND RIGHT PINK."

McCarthy: "The referee doesn't need to count! Shania flat on her back, unmoving. She's out!"

O'Dell: "Count at eight. Nine. Ten. OVER! Wow! The winner by KO3, Pink!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "Pink, you've been a bit of a slow starter in some fights. Looked like that might be the case tonight as well..."

Pink: "Give Shania the credit on that one. She's still slick. Knows how to box. Had me off balance the whole round. Took me some time to figure her out. Knew I would, though. Sooner or later. Turned out to be sooner."